Retracking a p411 "Okay"

[Kayleehotchick]

Hello. Sometimes I wish p411 had some kind of system that allow us to put a "okay" but is able to add a note that maybe of interest of other girls that they can see.

I'm not one to re-tract a "okay" but there is one okay that I have given that really really really bothers me. Granted, he showed up on time, he was clean, and handled the business part without a problem so in that area, he was fine. But he did try bareback (guys ask for it all the time so I really don't freak out about it because the answer is ALWAYS NO! But this guy was a little pushy about it and maybe a tad bit forceful). He DID NOT FORCE BAREBACK but it did take me some work to convince him that BB was NOT A OPTION! I didn't want him to pick me up off the ground(because I hate it unless I know you really really well and even then, it is hard for me to relax) and he ignored me and did it anyway. To me, he ignored my boundaries and made me nervous. But at the same token, he didn't harm me, he didn't rip me off and he didn't cause me pain. So in the sense, he is "okay". He has tried to come back and see me many times sense then and I have ignored or said I wasn't playing (when I really was playing) that day. The idea of seeing him again (and I wont) fills me up with dread.

So the "okay" I gave him has ALWAYS bothered me. Granted, if a provider, would ask me about him, I would tell her, that he is "okay" in a vanilla sense (paying. on time, you get the jest of things) but I wouldn't see him again and I would tell her why.

So should I re-tract the "okay" or let it stand? Again, he didn't do anything wrong per say, he just made me very very very nervous to the point of avoiding a repeat visit. And that is hard to do!!

What do you think I should do?

[Selena Romano]

Hey kaylee I wish that would be an option too about putting a note there so other girls can see. Great thread

[Kayleehotchick]

Thank Selena51. All of my "okays" have been very black and white up until now. This "okay" really bugs me....

[KenMonk]

I guess it depends, do you want other ladies contacting you for information? Does this lead to notes from providers that read like personal attacks? Can the gents see these notes? Gents can also remove okays from their p411 list so maybe he will remove yours and the note is then worthless. Will he really be hurt by your removal of the okay?

[Kayleehotchick]

I'm NOT the one to launch personal attack. Get real.....

There IS NO NOTES THAT OTHER PROVIDERS CAN see. And if there was, NO gents should NOT be able to see them. And yes, there should be limits to what a provider could post on there. But my question wasn't about notes. All I said was "I WISHED" there were notes another provider can see.

I wish he would remove my "okay" that way I wouldn't have to feel bothered by the whole thing.

It's not my goal hurt anyone but it my "okay" bothers me. If I have known, he was that way, I wouldn't have seen him the first part. But at the same token, he didn't cause me any harm, he just over stepped my boundaries.

And I have zero problems with ladies contacting me for any reason.

[Hercules]

Honestly, if you refuse to see him again and you are not "okay" with him then you should not have given him an OK.

You might give him a head's up and be truthful about how you feel. He may just delete your OK on his own.

[WTM]

Good morning Kaylee.

I don't post much; but the subject of P411 "oks" interests me.

If a provider will not see a client again, then, to me, that client is not "ok."

And if clients who are not "ok" nevertheless receive "oks," then the integrity of the P411 system is undermined for everyone.

It is a great idea for "oks" to be accompanied by comments (perhaps for provider eyes only); but until the system is modified to allow that, "oks" should be limited to clients whom the provider would see again without any hesitation or reservation.

WTM

[Kayleehotchick]

Originally Posted by Hercules

Honestly, if you refuse to see him again and you are not "okay" with him then you should not have given him an OK.

You might give him a head's up and be truthful about how you feel. He may just delete your OK on his own.

Well...I didn't realized how bad it bothered me until he started trying to see again. And when I gave him my okay, I did think I would see him again but with a little caution. But when it came right down to seeing him again, I just couldn't bring myself to do it. It took awhile for the session to sink in and that is when my "okay" started to bother me. I've never had someone I've avoided seeing like this before. I either I knew I wouldn't or would see him again from the very get go.

If a guy leaves and I KNOW I WILL NEVER see him again, believe me, I wont give him a okay.

But , I will consider following your advice on this....

Thanks for the feed back.

[BigEddie]

If you are this bothered by it, you should retract the okay. It won't stop him from seeing ladies and pressuring them, but at least it won't be with your stamp of approval. I didn't really understand the "he picked me off the ground" part. Was he trying to have standing bb?

[Guest071613-2]

As far as I know, we cannot retract okays.

Personally, I have been in similar situations and did not give the okay. If, at the conclusion of an appointment, I have to calm myself down from something that bothered me, it wasn't "okay". Gina will never allow us to make notes next to our okays. That is a wonderful idea and I wish we could do that, but it won't happen. Too many shady bitches who would make false "notes", etc.

I recently had someone show up 15 minutes early. I wasn't ready. He said he would run to CVS while I finished preparing. He came back 15 minutes later, and when he set the donation out, there was a gift card (that he had just purchased at CVS) with the money. The gift card was the value of half the appt., the other half was in cash. He said, "I hope you don't mind! It's just easier for me to purchase gift cards rather than withdraw cash." Basically when he showed up 15 minutes early, he had half my donation on him. It made me wonder what he would have done if I would have been ready when he arrived early. Was he going to short me? Pay half my donation? We will never know. But I had to give him an OKAY because he was okay by P411 standards: he paid. I wished at that moment, that we had the option to make notes but oh well.

Kaylee, if you don't mind, could you please PM me that guy's info? Thanks, and I am sorry you had to go through an uncomfortable appointment.

[Kayleehotchick]

Well...I did make a note to myself about the situation. And again, when I gave the okay, I thought I would see him again but with caution... Other wise, a okay would not have be given at all.

Sometimes things take awhile to sink in and that is what happened right here.

And Dannie, it is sad that we can't share notes because of a few bad apples. And I totally see why p411 has to avoid doing that.

[Fancyinheels]

I have retracted an Okay, so it can be done. My situation was different. (There's a thread on the incident somewhere on here.) Reader's Digest version: I had seen the fellow before a couple of times over the last 3 years, corresponded quite a lot but never could make our schedules work, finally he came down from Dallas for an overnight and then stiffed me, leaving quickly the next morning, yada, yada, he forgot, he lost the envelope, his wallet was stolen at dinner (although I saw him with it at my apartment after we came back from the restaurant), he'd mail it to me, bla, bla, we went back and forth, no money ever appeared, and that really hurt me as I thought he was a decent guy. I wrote Gina and she removed my previous Okay.

That's the thing: you'll have to explain WHY you want to retract your Okay, and I don't know if the rather nebulous circumstances you've related will justify pulling it. Email P411 with what you stated above and see what response you get. No harm just telling them about it. But in the future, if someone ignores your boundaries to the point of doing something physically that you specifically asked them not to, do NOT okay them, even if they do pay you. Set aside your "nervousness" and ask yourself if the same scenario played out, would another provider want to deal with the guy?

This is a tricky case. Go with Gina's opinion, as she deals with this stuff all the time.

[KenMonk]

Originally Posted by Kayleehotchick

I'm NOT the one to launch personal attack. Get real.....

There IS NO NOTES THAT OTHER PROVIDERS CAN see. And if there was, NO gents should NOT be able to see them. And yes, there should be limits to what a provider could post on there. But my question wasn't about notes. All I said was "I WISHED" there were notes another provider can see.

I wish he would remove my "okay" that way I wouldn't have to feel bothered by the whole thing.

It's not my goal hurt anyone but it my "okay" bothers me. If I have known, he was that way, I wouldn't have seen him the first part. But at the same token, he didn't cause me any harm, he just over stepped my boundaries.

And I have zero problems with ladies contacting me for any reason.

Take it easy I was only asking questions. I never said you would attack someone personally, i said notes could lead to that. However gents will get the information just like how ladies get ML information. People talk, it is what it is. I was simply asking more about your ideas, not sayin you would attack someone.

[Kayleehotchick]

Originally Posted by KenMonk

Take it easy I was only asking questions. I never said you would attack someone personally, i said notes could lead to that. However gents will get the information just like how ladies get ML information. People talk, it is what it is. I was simply asking more about your ideas, not sayin you would attack someone.

Gotcha.

Sorry if I came off that way.

I WANT TO MAKE SOMETHING VERY VERY VERY VERY CLEAR so I don't have to repeat myself over and over and over again.

1) IF I KNOW WITHOUT A DOUBT I WONT SEE ANYONE AGAIN, HE DOESN"T GET A "okay". PERIOD.

2) AT THE TIME, I THOUGHT I WOULD SEE HIM AGAIN.

3) I DID NOT KNOW HOW BAD THE SESSION BOTHERED ME UNTIL HE WANTED TO SEE ME AGAIN. I write this in red to drive that point home. IF I HAD KNOWN HOW BAD IT BOTHERED ME, I WOULDN"T have given him okay.

So before you write "you shouldn't have gave him a "okay" in the first place. Please re-read the statement in red.

Sometimes things take awhile to sink in. It is human nature.

Once I figured out how bad the session bothered me, that is when the "okay" started to bother me.

So I'm asking advice about what to do about the situation.

Hercules so far has given good advice.

[Guest071613-2]

Oh yes....I agree with Fancyinheels...write Gina about the situation and possibly retracting the okay and see what she says.

Keep us posted!!