Advice... A little hobby related... A little not.

[Guest100514]

When is it time to go your separate ways? I have felt like a doormat for months. When someone leads you to believe they are a certain type if person and then You do your research and find our otherwise, but they are known to be a volatile person, what do you do? Do you confront them and let them know you know the truth? Do you ask them about it and give them the opportunity to tell you the truth? But what if they continue to lie? What if they turn into the manipulative volatile person they are rumored to be? What is the least confrontational way to part ways?
I don't want to be associated with someone who is a known liar and thief. I haven't had anything stolen from me but the lies are too much. How can you lie about something to someone who was there? I'm really just stuck at a cross road and any advice will be greatly appreciated.
Thanks

Jillian

[Harley Diablo]

I am in my 60's and have spent 40 years studying people and if someone continues to lie to you about who they are, it is time to move on. We cannot change other people and if there is no trust in a relationship from the beginning it will never work.
Sorry but just saw you comments and had to have my say. I donot and will not recommend what you do but just giving you the study of many others in the past years.
We all have to do what we feel is right for us not what someone else says.
hjones from Shreveport la, wishing the best pretty lady.

[Guest100514]

Thank you for the advice. I am just trying to decide if I should confront the person and risk the personal attack on myself of if I should just let them make the decision to not be in my life any more.

[Remote]

Depends on the types of lies.

Little white lies. (No your butt does not look big jeans) No big deal.

Relationship lies. (Your the only one, I love you. While becoming emotionally involved with another) is betrayal. Time to cut them loose.

Generic lies. (I wasn't speeding, I found the other phone in the parking lot at work and am returning it to lost and found in the morning) No big deal.

Irresponsible lies (I did not take the last cookie, I did not do this or I did do that; whatever so they don't have to take responsibility) Show immaturity and refusal to take reponsibilty for their lives. Frustrating, but will they out grow it or is it permanent. Hard decision, to many factors for an answer here.

Hurtful lies. (I never loved you, name calling, cruel words true or untrue) Time to cut them loose.

Habitual liars. (These people lie even if the truth would not change anything) the lie to make themselves seem more than they are, they lie because they have always lied and never had to pay a hard penalty for it. They lie because it is the way they have survivied until now. They lie about everything and can not be trusted. Do not associate with them.

If this person is volatile face to face may not be the best. If you fear for your safety, find a safe place and go there. Inform them by phone call, oe letter that your relationship is over and you have moved on. Do not make accusations or argue with them. Simple end it and hang up or mail the letter with no return address. If you must see them again for legal reason have someone with you that can deal with them.

So it really depends on what lies, and if it rises to an unacceptable level for you to continue the relationship.

[Guest100514]

Thank you. This person is a habitual liar and I think it's best to not do it face to face.

[Gentlemen Rendezvous]

In relationships, I always try to look objectively at actions. By reading their actions, tells me everything I need to know. That is especially true when it comes to men, be it friendships, business relationships or their interactions with my female friends. Evaluate men by their actions.

[daveindallas]

Email, text....hey it's taken the place of face to face conversations .
If it's easier for you to voice your side without fear of reprisal or interruption,
Then do it.
You deserve better friends that won't lie to you.
We all do.

[General Feuerbacher]

Sorry this happened to you. People can be strange and cruel.Try to move past the problem

[OldGrump]

Confrontation can lead to rebuttals. Once you make up your mind, stick to it. If the lies disturb you enough to ask us, they are probably serious enough to you to move on.

Just call, text, or email and cut it off. Then block the number and refuse further contact. Be firm and positive You are young, beautiful, and have a good mind. . Better things will come your way.

[SD2011]

In your heart you already know the answer. Do what is right.

[Stallion81]

You seem like a very caring person. I think that you already know what you need to do. Cutting your losses is hard at first, but it pays real dividends in the long run.

[Guest100514]

I always have a plan b in everything I do I think in this case I will need a plan b and c

[St.Mateo]

If you feel that strongly about then follow your gut instinct
The hardest step to take is the first one. The lying is unacceptable
but also learn from it.

[Guest100514]

Thank you all for the advice!

[privatecollections]

For the record the "break up" was my choice. Ive been clean too long to deal with Jillians extra curricular choices. I wasnt going to air your issue but since you decided to bring this to eccie, you left me no choice. That "H" is a mother fucker and its only going to put you in jail or 6ft under. The only one who was lied to was me when u promised me u were staying on the right track, but then got arrested for felony charges (which I bailed u out of even though I shouldn't have).. We all like to have fun and be wild every now and then but when it turns into a problem then I am out. When you needed help I was there but you chose your problem over me so I'm done.

You want some advice? Get clean. . You haters can say what you want to about me but at the end of the day I'm doing well and your insults dont hurt me. Jillian, get some help for your problem before it kills you. That's about all I have to say on the matter. I wish you all the best. Even those who have nasty things to say. You only say them cause you don't know me. Now I'm moving on like the lady that I am. Go ahead and try to bash me all you want.

I LOVE THE HATERS, Y'ALL ARE MAKING ME FAMOUS :-)

Ps. Ill always love you Jillian but let's be real. Im not the one afraid of the truth.