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simpleman76 · 12-12-2013, 10:05 PM

What are hobbyists and providers opinions on a provider having a long term significant other that knows about her work and profession?

Is there any relevance to how the S.O. feels about what she does and what is the proper etiquette when discussing it if it gets brought up?

AllThisMeat · 12-12-2013, 10:31 PM

Providers have lives. One would like to be delusional enough, for that hour you're with her, to think that you are the only person she ever sees--but we know it isn't true. Personally, I hope that a lady HAS a guy (or a girl--I don't judge) who she is interested in spending time with outside of the hobby.

I'm of the opinion that her private life is none of my business unless:
1. She makes it my business.
2. Her private life interrupts my time with her.

I don't see providers to hear them praise or complain about their partner--and I'm certainly not there to talk to them about anyone I happen to be seeing either.

There has been a few times when a provider has brought up the fact that she has a boyfriend or was getting married or whatever... If it is at the top of the session, I keep my questions closed ended and steer the conversation towards something less about her and more about me with her. If it is at the end of the session, and I find her interesting, I'll ask non-invasive questions which are open ended yet do not require that she commit to answering them in a certain way.

With respect to the S.O's feelings on her job... it isn't my business how they feel about it. If it gets brought up in the positive then I applaud him for being open minded and modern about things. If the response is negative, I attempt to steer the conversation to a more pleasing topic for both of us... "I'm sorry to hear that. I heard you liked dogs. Do you have one? Oh good! What's her name? What made you decide to go with that breed? Speaking of dogs, I really like doggie style! I hope you don't mind because your ass is great!"

KenMonk · 12-12-2013, 10:34 PM

What a lady does outside of our arrangement, whatever that may be, is what she does and I don't care as long as it doesn't affect me.

Proper etiquette would be she doesn't bring it up so you don't have to hear it.

Now if you have a long standing relationship/friendship with the provider in question, they may change things.

chriscraft · 12-12-2013, 11:27 PM

Its good for folks to have a special someone to love and be themselves around. If a provider has someone like that in her life, that's awesome.

simpleman76 · 12-12-2013, 11:33 PM

ok, so far I am hearing lots of positive feedback regarding a provider having an S.O. therefore I would have an additional question of why should a provider lie about it and why would a hobbyist want to destroy it if they found out?

AllThisMeat · 12-13-2013, 01:22 AM

You should qualify your "it" in your question simpleman76... you're leaving far too much open to the interpretations of the reader as to what you mean to say.

Judging from the context I'm assuming the "it" you mean is the S.O.

A provider lying about having an S.O. is, again, none of my business. But, should she choose to lie about her personal life it is usually to protect herself in some way... depending on what says of course. All providers exhibit a level of control of information with respect to themselves... especially when you don't know who you can trust.

As far as the hobbyist seeing to destroy... the S.O.? or rather do you mean the provider's relationship with the S.O.? or are you meaning the lie? Of this I'm not sure...

Typically, a person doesn't ask such questions unless he already knows the answer... and if you know the answer then asking us serves only to prove a point. Now, I may be going out on a limb here, but it seems to me like you have an axe to grind. If I'm wrong then I apologize for reading too much into this and I hope you'll forgive my familiar tone.

However, if I'm right, you are the S.O. in question or at least someone close to the hypothesized individual. If this is the case, I have this advice... listen to your girl. Not talk to her but listen to her. And when you have heard and understand her then you will know the answer to these questions--the hows and the whys of it all. What you do after that is your own concern. However, I suggest couples counseling if you plan to stay with her... and if not, go to work and become successful--without her.

Helicopter206 · 12-13-2013, 08:44 AM

What Meat said, by looking at the date you join the site. Something was on your mind, or it's breaking in a new handle.

PleasantSurprise · 12-13-2013, 12:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by simpleman76

What are hobbyists and providers opinions on a provider having a long term significant other that knows about her work and profession?

Is there any relevance to how the S.O. feels about what she does and what is the proper etiquette when discussing it if it gets brought up?

I don't have a SO, but if I did I would make sure to not tell them any of the activities. A visual is the hardest thing for a person to get out of their mind. If you've ever been cheated on, as a guy or as a girl, by a person whom you really loved or cared for, the last thing you would want is to envision them being fucked and liking it by another person. Or maybe it turns some people on, I don't know.

All because the person says they want to know, I do not think discussing specific sexual activities should occur. Especially if they appear to be asking out of curiosity. I think looking out for a person's best interest trumps honesty and curiosity.

Treat it like a business to the SO. Job, job, job. Something you go, do, and return home after. They do not need to know anything more. They may want to know more; but they do not need to know any more.

On one side, is a provider telling her SO what business she's in. The flip side, the SO might be getting something elsewhere. If I was being cheated on, I wouldn't want to know. I would rather be lied to, than imagine the person I love being intimate and pleased by another woman. Yes, lie to me please.

Care for me enough to say you're going out with the guys and then fuck another woman. I'll most likely know you're lying to me to protect me, and I'll turn my head because it beats the hell out of the other vision. Lie, and stick to it.

While unfaithfulness may be allowed because your SO wants you happy, no person who loves you will ever want to picture you with someone else.

LeilaniBebe · 12-13-2013, 02:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by simpleman76

ok, so far I am hearing lots of positive feedback regarding a provider having an S.O. therefore I would have an additional question of why should a provider lie about it and why would a hobbyist want to destroy it if they found out?

If the hobbyist wants to destroy the providers relationship with her SO?

Then this so called hobbyist has issues, going on borderline fatal attraction!

CaptainKaos · 12-13-2013, 03:17 PM

The longer I'm in this, the more I've found out that a lot of people can't handle the hobby.

BigDeal · 12-13-2013, 03:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CaptainKaos

The longer I'm in this, the more I've found out that a lot of people can't handle the hobby.

agreed!!

They cant handle THE TRUTH!!

old-tyme-racer · 12-13-2013, 09:41 PM

One of the best providers that was in the area back about 10 years ago her SO or husband was the business manager, body guard, driver, banker and ETC. He was a good guy to talk to.

BigMikeinKC · 12-14-2013, 02:55 PM

It seems like every provider who has ever mentioned that they have a SO has issues with them. Usually that the SO is having trouble handling what she does.

Soft8 · 12-14-2013, 05:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BigMikeinKC

It seems like every provider who has ever mentioned that they have a SO has issues with them. Usually that the SO is having trouble handling what she does.

What he Said.
What do you think if the Provider got Pregnant by a Client, what would the SO do then?

CaptainKaos · 12-14-2013, 06:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BigMikeinKC

It seems like every provider who has ever mentioned that they have a SO has issues with them. Usually that the SO is having trouble handling what she does.

I can't disagree there. But I can offer some considerations:

1.) The only normal people you know are those you don't know very well. In most cases, everyone close to you seems nuts to you. Therefore, when most people talk about their SO, they are usually bitching about them.

2.) Just because every provider who SAYS they have an SO seems to have SO issues doesn't mean every provider who HAS an SO has issues. In fact, I'd wager the providers who tend to keep their private life separate from their hobby life would never even mention they had an SO. Some may want you to think they're somewhat available to help fuel the fantasy.

3.) I would imagine that if any SO had a solid relationship with a provider, that provider would do a ton more bitching about us in terms of cheapness, tardiness, sketchiness, cleanliness and annoying-ness than they ever did about their SO.

Best bet is to not to think about any of this ish and enjoy your limited time together.