Ready or not

[willdooit]

I have been seeing a mistress for a couple years only dabbled in being tied ,saint Andrews cross. Mostly it's gfe, I want jump into it totally . What is the best way to start , just let her take me to the edge. I trust this woman . My next visit I will surrender to my mistress.(maybe )

[ElisabethWhispers]

Are you asking us a question? Asking for some advice? Not sure I exactly understand what you're wanting to do except to jump into a situation fully, maybe.

[willdooit]

Advise

[mm-good]

Agree, not sure if you are asking a question or sharing that you are going for it.

The more experienced will have much more insight but it sounds to me you have all the makings to do something really cool .

It sounds like you fully trust your mistress or Mistress (I'm still not clear on that ). Given this sleeveless of trust, then what would keep you from submitting fully?

[LNK]

If you've been seeing her for that long, what's been holding you back?

[willdooit]

I enjoy my GFE time with her but have always wanted to go to another level. Just nervous about it but totally excited and intrigued. What's the best way to start.

[ElisabethWhispers]

Starting a dialogue with the person that you wish to submit to? Speak with you completely openly and with candor. Gosh, bad grammar this morning. Haven't had my coffee, yet.

Not sure what else to suggest.

Breath.

Set your boundaries in your head, first, then discuss them with her. You HAVE to have boundaries even if they're the common ones like no blood, scat, etc.

If you have created a set of boundaries and you've discussed what you wish to do, then within those boundaries, the two of you should be able to be as free and as dark/deep/sexual as you like.

[cumalot]

If you trust your Mistress, that's good. Trust is earned and not given, so your at the stage now that you may need to give up control to her. All the pent up issues that you have about control and all the taboo thoughts need to be given the seal of approval from her. If she tells you to do something that you have issues with, then it may remove the guilt that you might have. Because she is telling you to do something rather than asking you to do it, should render you an escape from the doubts, fears and guilt that you may have.

Communication is essential in all relationships and the relationship that you have with her is no different than any other relationship. Talk to her about your concerns, fears, and expectations and go from there. At some point she needs control and you will have to grant that control, so have a safeword that you can communicate that will give the control back to yourself if the need arises.

It sounds like your ready for some awesome Kink.........Life is too short to miss out on the Kink

Just my 2 cents of rambling.......

[willdooit]

I'm jumping in the kink side of the pool.

[LondonSub]

Nothing much to add, except always remember the golden rule: S.S.C. (Safe, Sane, Consensual)

[Unique_Carpenter]

Originally Posted by ElisabethWhispers

Starting a dialogue with the person that you wish to submit to? Speak with you completely openly and with candor.
Set your boundaries in your head, first, then discuss them with her.

Exactly, and I might add, failure to discuss candidly might result in misunderstandings, which could ruin the encounter, with a resulting risk of losing a friend. And, ignoring that this concept can very well apply to all areas of the hobby, there's simply no downside to talking. What’s the worst a person could say? A no thank you, for certain proposed activities, does not mean that other activities are off the table. Or perhaps a no could simply mean your friend prefers to stay in the existing type of encounter, which you've mentioned you enjoy.
Note that a good dom will simply take their time getting a friend to various levels, because they don't want to get that friend into a situation that the subs not ready for yet (and risk losing the sub). Last, if she's got a cross, of course she has a collection of other toys and she'll be up for using them. If the talking will be awkward for you, simply ask to see her entire toy collection, and then ask to play with selected toys in a certain manner. She will let you move yourself through various levels simply by letting you choose the toys and stating how you’d like them used.

[Lhornbk]

Along with what everyone else has said, you might start out by having her give you commands to follow through text message or e-mail. This is how I started with my mistress, since we live several hours from each other and so only see each other every few months. I will text her asking if she has any commands for me, and if I can cum (I have given her total control of my orgasms.) She will give me various commands that I can do myself, such as using a butt plug or vibrator on my ass, putting clothes pins on my nipples, watching BDSM porn, writing her a story, wearing stockings & panties, etc. You have to commit yourself to really following her commands. And, since this does take up a small amount of her time, you should compensate her somehow. I send my mistress presents from her Amazon wish list, or gift cards that can be sent to her e-mail. So far, it has worked well.

[LondonSub]

hot stuff, L. Pretty jealous, wish I had a Mistress like that!

[willdooit]

talked about being a sub to the mistress and was told about how i must obey her commands and i may not get an orgasm. it depends on her mood at the time. i guess no GFE for me.