I Went to a Wedding

[actionman98]

I went to a friend's wedding a couple of weeks ago, and it really got me to thinking about some stuff that's been gnawing at me for a while. I'm getting older and the hobby just isn't doing it for me anymore. Seeing all the people my age married with kids only cemented it. It's time for me to leave the hobby.

The truth is I've been using this as a way to avoid a real relationship for quite a while now, and I finally think it's about time for me to move on. Without going too far into details, I lost someone very dear to me a few years ago, and I've been hiding behind the pain from it for too long now.

This feeling started out as me just wanting to just see one regular provider and really get to know her. Then I started wanting someone to know me as well. Now I want a relationship, and I think I might be ready for one.

I know a lot of people on both sides are already in relationships, and if that works for you it's cool. I'm in no position to judge, and even if I was I wouldn't want to. Life is complicated, we're all human, and quite frankly shit happens and everybody else is way too screwed up to look down at anyone else in my opinion, but for some reason the idea of being committed and still playing on the side just doesn't work for me. I've been single for a while so I always thought that made it o.k., but now I'm looking for something more so I think it's time for me to say goodbye.

I've met some great people during my time here, and I just wanted you all to know that ,while you won't be seeing me around here anymore, I still wish you all the best. Thanks for all the good times and memories.

Yours Truly,
Actionman98

[19Trees]

Spending ones discretionary income on providers (unless super rich) makes it more difficult to focus limited resources on other life priorities. Also, our expectations get a bit (to very) warped when we get to have GFE-sex with providers who look like teen dream pornstars. Presumably for some civvie women within their grasp just not "hot enough" so it can even effect one's libido. Hobbyists can also bring hobby-lessons and hobby-perspectives into their civvie lives, and think about them in their free time. For some its a delicious distraction and for others it can steer strong persons off of their own life course.

Trees assumes it will be hard, getting pleasure from even the expectation of the next one. Hope you come visit and share your civvie stories or better how you might come to struggle with staying away from all of these fucking hotties?

You sound clear headed and mature. Best of luck and if you change your mind, or need a reprieve now and then, poke back in.

19Trees

[Loxly]

Best of luck to you. At least you have a wealth of hobby experiences to develop you're criteria for a life-mate. I'm not certain if you'll end up divulging your hobby life to your chosen one, but you might have a few questions for her if she constantly insists on cleaning you up with a warm washcloth. (J/K)

[Guest061414]

Best of luck to you action. O and you can have my wife.

[Kanyon]

Best wishes in finding someone that's right for you.

[RALPHEY BOY]

you are just being a pussy!! man up!! I have felt like this many times, then I get an earful from one of friend girls or guys about how 'lucky' i am not to be married with kids..and it quickly changes my mind

I am kidding about the being a pussy.. do what you think is best for you!! good luck!

[shayla84]

I think its sweet and good for you even if you do come back now and then nobody said finding a life partner will come fast or easy. But in reality there is a time when people just say I am tired of being alone and would love someone to wake up to or eat dinner with or what have you with out paying for it everytime. Kids and marriage are the most beautiful things no matter what happens in the end. We learn from things we do in our life time and things that dont kill ya makes you stronger. I hope you find your special person and I give you big props for your thoughts. Very mature and thats how a man is supposed to think after a while, we dont stay young for ever and well people dont want life to fly by by there selves. I wish you nothing but the best of luck sweetie.

[Easy Cum]

Darn, I thought this was going to be a funny post about the bride being your ATF or something along those lines.

My take on your situation: blonds want to be brunettes, brunettes want to be blonds, married couples wished they were single, single people wished they were married, and... dogs can lick their own balls, yea I know, it's not fair.

[actionman98]

Screw it, I'm back.

[Kanyon]

You went to a wedding, and now you've been through the divorce?

Or are you sitting in this riveting Friday toll 130 traffic as well, with nothing better to do.

[actionman98]

Originally Posted by Kanyon

You went to a wedding, and now you've been through the divorce?

Or are you sitting in this riveting Friday toll 130 traffic as well, with nothing better to do.

Good one, but I think it's really more of a I needed a few weeks away from the hobby sort of thing.

[fun2come]

Last time I went to a wedding it made me join the Hobby .... didn't help it was my wedding either.

Welcome back, you know the drill ...

[JennsLolli]

If it makes you feel any better, it truly works both ways. I am chronically single and the few adult relationships I have had have been mismatched on a sexual level as well as others. I'm very tender-hearted and the ups and downs of the average fuck buddy relationship are draining for me. Draaaaaining. But I've also learned (hopefully) to not settle into a relationship with a boy who isn't a good match. (I know that there won't be a perfect match, but there has to be a bar.) My attached friends give me shit about being single since I'm young, childless, have goals, and am drama-free (hey! I'm a catch!) but whatever -- I'm not actively turning away any potential suitors and I adore getting laid.

I found early on in my 20s that my favorite casual sex partners were the attached ones who had the freedom to be open and honest about their feelings and experiences. They also shied away from the normal games, but without set rules things sometimes got a bit too heavy. The hobby allows me to spend time with the men who are more respectful, appreciative, and fun while setting strong boundaries for how attached either of us is allowed to become. It's a bit easier on my end in the part that I get a financial benefit from my efforts, but it's a bit easier on your end in the part that you can be more selective with who you spend your time with.

So! I feel ya. This place truly can be a healthy alternative to many of the traps of young single life so long as you don't get tangled up in the fantasy. And to be completely honest, I am incredibly hard on RW sexual partners and I think it has a lot to do with my history as a provider. BUT I think my history has just taught me to be more honest with what I'm willing to accept BCD from potential long term partners. I've learned to set the bar appropriately and I have the courage to turn down the boys that I just know won't do it for me, even though they look awfully tempting on paper and know how to whisper sweet words.