Fellas.... I am curious, What do you think is appropriate?

[Candence]

I am curious to know... what do men think is appropriate to ask of someone who has no reviews and cannot be verified by another provider? What would you do in a provider's position?

[Texasquest]

Pass !!!!!!!

[FishGuy13]

Suggest he see at least 1 or 2 local providers who see newbies, & offer names/ handles of who you suggest that are well known from here -- perhaps a FBSM provider. You could suggest the value of P411 or offer a free meet and greet in public say at a starbucks suggesting that he pays and point out that many (but not all) providers offer a better deals on visit 2 and beyond. Tease a little with the Pm's saying if drinks go well you will get to follow you home, if things don't go well you will take him shopping for dresses and tampons. lol !

[SneakyCancer]

go with your gut for sure

[Joe Buck]

Originally Posted by FishGuy13

Suggest he see at least 1 or 2 local providers who see newbies, & offer names/ handles of who you suggest that are well known from here -- perhaps a FBSM provider. You could suggest the value of P411 or offer a free meet and greet in public say at a starbucks suggesting that he pays and point out that many (but not all) providers offer a better deals on visit 2 and beyond. Tease a little with the Pm's saying if drinks go well you will get to follow you home, if things don't go well you will take him shopping for dresses and tampons. lol !

+1

[DallasRain]

Originally Posted by FishGuy13

Suggest he see at least 1 or 2 local providers who see newbies, & offer names/ handles of who you suggest that are well known from here -- perhaps a FBSM provider. You could suggest the value of P411 or offer a free meet and greet in public say at a starbucks suggesting that he pays and point out that many (but not all) providers offer a better deals on visit 2 and beyond. Tease a little with the Pm's saying if drinks go well you will get to follow you home, if things don't go well you will take him shopping for dresses and tampons. lol !

I would tell him to get references then we can play

[wcbumf]

Suggest a M&G

[tia travels]

M & G's don't prove anyone's not trouble at all.
That's why I don't do them.

[silverstate53]

I second Dallas on this !! I found my newbie friendlies when i got started and only had a couple bumps in the road..

[RedLeg505]

Originally Posted by Candence

I am curious to know... what do men think is appropriate to ask of someone who has no reviews and cannot be verified by another provider?

Let me see if I have this right. What would we Hobbyists do, if a new "member" appeared on the boards saying they were trying to get started and needed some reviews/recommendations and had no history?

What questions would we ask to verify them before we met them? I believe I see this exact scenario played out in almost EVERY location on the ECCIE boards in the Welcome Wagon section. As you can see by the responses, there are a LOT of the guys that don't care and will PM/set up dates with no verification whatsoever.

For me, if I were going to do that, I'd set up a M&G, offer to take them to lunch and see how it goes first. IF they weren't willing to do that, I'd back off. If they are, I'd make sure we had a slow, leisurely lunch (LE and those looking to sting won't invest the time usually) and chat about anything and everything EXCEPT the hobby and her activities and reviews. If she can hang through that, then I'd consider setting up a date on a different day. If she was willing to wait a day or so for the date, I'd say the likelihood of her being an LE sting drops dramatically.

Doesn't weed out the ones that can go bat-shit crazy on ya when the doors close, but also makes that scenario a lot less likely. And if you lower the chance of LE sting and BSC mad women, I'm not too scared of the rest.

[Malcolm1357]

Keep your standards. Be firm and polite and tell him that you would like to see him but only with appropriate screening.

I'm reminded of that line in "Wall Street" where Hal Holbrook says, "The thing about money is that it makes you do things you normally wouldn't do."

Stay true to yourself, and standards, and you'll be fine.

Good luck, hope it works out for both of you.

[Zabrina Sarafina]

Originally Posted by Malcolm1357

Keep your standards. Be firm and polite and tell him that you would like to see him but only with appropriate screening.

I'm reminded of that line in "Wall Street" where Hal Holbrook says, "The thing about money is that it makes you do things you normally wouldn't do."

Stay true to yourself, and standards, and you'll be fine.

Well said!

[twosides]

What is a fbsm provider and who r the newbe friendly ones

[speeedracer]

Originally Posted by RedLeg505

For me, if I were going to do that, I'd set up a M&G, offer to take them to lunch and see how it goes first...

<--complete newbie here, so forgive me if this is a dumb question, but i'm assuming that you'd still be paying the provider her full rates for her time, correct? even if you had no intention of making it back to a hotel or something, she'd still charge for the hour or so of time?

Originally Posted by Zabrina Sarafina

Well said!

that makes me kinda sad, actually. i'm in a committed relationship, so if i ever do end up hiring a provider for some reason or another, it'd probably be only once, ever. so, it'd have to be someone not only worth the money, but also worth the experience. and even though i don't live anywhere near chicago, zabrina, you're at the top of my list ...even though i'd never be verified enough to see you

/ah well, such is life...

[RedLeg505]

Originally Posted by speeedracer

<--complete newbie here, so forgive me if this is a dumb question, but i'm assuming that you'd still be paying the provider her full rates for her time, correct? even if you had no intention of making it back to a hotel or something, she'd still charge for the hour or so of time?

The Meet and Greet's I've set up were arranged as just that.. a chance for the two of us to meet, with no pressure, and see if we were willing/prepared to go to the next step. The time spent for that was off the clock because we hadn't made a "date" yet, just checking to see if we would be willing to do so.

That is different from making a date that includes lunch or dinner as part of the date. Then you do pay for that time. A "compatibility check" M&G often is off the clock, at least with the one's I've set up.