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Cherry Chandler · 06-14-2010, 11:11 PM

A brand new member here (11 days) contacted me on IM wanting to setup an appointment for tomorrow -- all is good (hey even advance notice!) until...

And now the rest of the story!

He will not provide ANY screening information, including a first name only. He wants to call me 30 minutes before the scheduled time to get my location -- but clearly stated - no P411, no references nor would he provide any information not even his name when he calls.

Gentleman please, you know a heck of a lot more about us ladies from our reviews than we will ever know about you. But please don't expect us to accept an appointment with you when you won't even provide a first name.

Most of us really do respect your privacy and of course there is aways P411. However please don't expect to be seen when all you are going to give is an IM handle. Please consider our safety as well.

So new member, no post, no reviews, no P411, nothing from any past or other board, not willing to provide even a first name. Anyone willing to take a chance?

I am newbie friendly -- but not friendly enough to take a chance on him!

charlestudor2005 · 06-15-2010, 04:39 AM

+1 +1 +1

Cherry--

You are a wonderful lady, and I would never, ever want you to endanger yourself. There are way too many wingnuts out there to agree to these terms.

I am a strong proponent of P411 as it has served me well in the hobby. But even with P411, I won't see some ladies b/c I deem their screening to be too invasive. IOW, they want my real info in addition to P411. If that's what they want to do, that's fine, but I won't see them.

However, screening is safety for both sides of the hobby. And everyone should respect it. Your personal limitations are your personal limitations, and if another party won't meet it, there should be no agreement to meet one another.

'Nuf said.

Cece Sinclaire · 06-15-2010, 05:15 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by charlestudor2005

I am a strong proponent of P411 as it has served me well in the hobby. But even with P411, I won't see some ladies b/c I deem their screening to be too invasive.

I agree with you.

As a provider, I only want to know two things about who I am seeing.

1.) You are safe to see (no violent tendencies with other providers)
2.) You don't have a habit of NC/NS.

That's it! I don't need your name, your SSN, your address....etc. There is no need for it to do screening. This is why we have references for.

Without saying too much about it, I do think there are too many ladies who go overboard with it. We don't need to do a background check on ya for god's sake.

But Cherry, yes I understand what you mean, I've been there many times! Instant Messengers are known for it LOL. I mean there is no way I am going to see someone who IM"s me out of the blue with no info. It's not going to happen.

Best of luck sweetie!

Tiffany Cums · 06-15-2010, 05:38 AM

If you are a member of P411 and you have 'oks' from some well known ladies, then we are good to go!

If you give me two references from well known ladies, and upon contact they 'ok' you, then we are good to go!

If I don't recognize the ladies, I will do some research on them and perhaps contact them, just to make sure that THEY are legit....but that is done behind the scenes, you won't be bothered with that.

IF you are not P411, and you do not have 2 references....well, I am newbie friendly, but I would then need some personal info to check you out, make sure you are who you say you are, and to help you get started in the great world of hobbying!

CHERRY, I agree with you 100%! Way to go girl!

npita · 06-15-2010, 10:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cherry Chandler

He will not provide ANY screening information, including a first name only. He wants to call me 30 minutes before the scheduled time to get my location -- but clearly stated - no P411, no references nor would he provide any information not even his name when he calls.

I don't understand the problem. Tell a prospective client what you need for screening and if he doesn't want to give you that information, just say no.

Victor · 06-15-2010, 10:47 AM

In simple terms and out loud.....
The provider/client exchange over phone or other...is filled with half truths and partial commitments on the parts of both parties. It is the nature of the beast and has been since the first sale. It shall remain so. I resent the constant whine of providers and clients about the uncertian items that exist in the psuedo contract that we proffer. If things dont work out for either...each must recall that...it is the nature of the beast....but........lets not whine, lets not moan and bitch and lets live in an environment that supports the least drama.....for all parties concerned...........Captain Blade

Gryphon · 06-15-2010, 02:49 PM

Providers have the right to ask for whatever screening information they want; clients have the right to refuse any information they don't want to divulge. If there's a conflict, no harm no foul--but no meeting, either.

runswithscissors · 06-15-2010, 03:04 PM

Cherry; please be sure to post this in your local board forum also; hopefully the new member will see the post and the subsequent responses to realize that he will need to follow the hobbyland procedures.

He does need to realize you are a business-woman who will run your business as you see fit to ensure yours and his security.

Bliss · 06-15-2010, 03:12 PM

This is especially annoying when the provider has taken the time to clearly explain her screening policies on her website. I don't post my phone # so all inquiries go thru my site. On my contact page I clearly state my screening requirements, and in big capital letters it says......"inquiries with no provider reference information will get no response, please do not try to talk me into seeing you without a reference, it will not work."

At least 3x a week. A newbie, zero info, tries to talk me into it because they are "such a nice guy." *Sigh*

LAVixian · 06-15-2010, 04:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Victor

In simple terms and out loud.....
The provider/client exchange over phone or other...is filled with half truths and partial commitments on the parts of both parties. It is the nature of the beast and has been since the first sale. It shall remain so. I resent the constant whine of providers and clients about the uncertian items that exist in the psuedo contract that we proffer. If things dont work out for either...each must recall that...it is the nature of the beast....but........lets not whine, lets not moan and bitch and lets live in an environment that supports the least drama.....for all parties concerned...........Captain Blade

and the thunder rolls....

pyramider · 06-15-2010, 05:26 PM

No screening info, no play. Pretty simple to me.

ftwranchman · 06-16-2010, 09:20 AM

I would stay away from someone who will not provide screening info to you. That is why we as hobbyists take the time to get a P411 account and write reviews so you as a provider can get a sense of us.

Guest032514-1 · 06-16-2010, 10:20 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gryphon

If there's a conflict, no harm no foul--but no meeting, either.

There ya go.

Luckyl · 06-16-2010, 10:39 AM

Goes without saying. Dude can just grease his own palms. :P

npita · 06-16-2010, 11:04 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bliss

This is especially annoying when the provider has taken the time to clearly explain her screening policies on her website.

Part of running a business is dealing with people other than those who are well informed and just line up to throw money. I'd say most of it is how you deal with people who might spend money once you tell them why they should spend it regardless of whether they've read anything or not.