Question for the masses/ half rant

[Grizzly]

Have a question for everyone:

Has anyone every had bad luck getting their work schedule and hobby life to cooperate?

How do you regain the trust of the ladies you have had to cancel on because of work conflicts?

I hate having to cancel dates especially when they are short notice cancellation due to a last minute job offer.

Any insight from the wise sages on this board and from the ladies who have to deal with us when we cancel on how to rebuild their trust and get back in their good graces?

Just a little info I work for a temporary job placement agency and I am on call with them because I have a car and can transport workers to job sights.

If you do want to answer in public please feel free to send me a pm.

Thanks Oenghus

[TaylorBliss]

Well I certainly understand how being 'on call' goes . As long as someone contacts me to let me know the situation, I don't feel you have to make any burnt sacrifices etc. to come back and see me.

[b@ileythepistol]

Originally Posted by TaylorBliss

Well I certainly understand how being 'on call' goes . As long as someone contacts me to let me know the situation, I don't feel you have to make any burnt sacrifices etc. to come back and see me.

Same here if you are keeping your provider updated she shouldn't be upset with you... Atleast I wouldn't, things happen I can respect someone who gives me a heads up rather than ncns me.

[KCQuestor]

This is why rarely see ladies that require advance booking. I know it means I miss out on a lot, and I often have to limit myself to a few ladies I know who are available on short notice. But I just can't schedule a date days in advance knowing that I might get asked to work or help out a friend or something.

I thought P411 would be a solution, but it has been less than satisfactory for me so far. The pre-booking isn't all about screening. A lot of times it is just scheduling at all.

So I'll see my regulars, or well-reviewed BP girls who have an ad up from that day. And when I am traveling I'll stick to spas or brothels where I can walk-in or at most give an hour notice.

[b@ileythepistol]

Originally Posted by KCQuestor

This is why rarely see ladies that require advance booking. I know it means I miss out on a lot, and I often have to limit myself to a few ladies I know who are available on short notice. But I just can't schedule a date days in advance knowing that I might get asked to work or help out a friend or something.

I thought P411 would be a solution, but it has been less than satisfactory for me so far. The pre-booking isn't all about screening. A lot of times it is just scheduling at all.

So I'll see my regulars, or well-reviewed BP girls who have an ad up from that day. And when I am traveling I'll stick to spas or brothels where I can walk-in or at most give an hour notice.

I don't see the need in waiting if a guy wants to see me that means he's ready to play now not a week later!

[CaptainKaos]

I think being a cool guy who's nice to be with goes a long long way in this hobby. The women you want to play with will respect a guy who acts that way and will respond in kind.

[Guest121212]

I agree with CaptainKaos, I'm sure that if you're cool and respectful she'll fit you in the next chance she gets (of course, as long as it works for you too)! Those of us like myself that do schedule in advance understand that many things come up from time to time with almost all our clients. If she said she would get you in as soon as possible if you had to cancel, I'm sure she will! If she told you to take a flying leap, well, then she isn't considerate to your situation. I had this same issue come up very recently and as I said to the gentleman then, I understand that work has to take preference occasionally - all I ask is that he understand that in return it may take me a little finessing to work him back into my schedule, but I will!

Kisses,

- Jackie

[Guest102513-1]

I think the key, in most of my hobby related situations with the ladies is....Communicate, Communicate...and then always feel free to Communicate

Of course don't drive each other crazy communicating.....oh the green tea, think I'll have another sip...... ( I realize this will not be funny to me tomorrow, but for now...chuckles in the background

But of course there is a fine line between over communicating....and communicating....sip

[Grizzly]

Thank you everyone that responded to my post! I probably will not be on again until Sunday.

Tomorrow I work a 22 hour shift!!! First up is a banquet at 11 am and to finish off the night I get to clean up and tear down the mess left behind from the Rob Zombie/Marilyn Manson concert.

Have an awesome weekend everyone, hope to see some of you ladies soon if I survive being without sleep for 24 hrs. lol

[Guest030817]

We all have things that come up. This is what works for me (on both ends):

1. Letting the other party know as soon as possible that there maybe a potential conflict

2. If the other party has already invested financially into the situation being prepared to compensate them for their loss. (for example if someone has purchased tickets for me to a concert, made accomodations, etc.)

3. Being kind and apologetic, accepting responsibility without a bunch of lengthy bs excuses.

4. Offering an alternate time immediately so that the other party knows that you aren't just b.s.'ing them.

5. This actually is the number one, covers all...asking "What can I to make it right?"

Unfortunately, I have had incidents where I had to cancel on short term notice or just completely screwed up. Owning it and offering to fix it seems easy but many choose to just blow it off and keep on moving instead.

If someone approached me with the above there is no way that I could be upset with them. If someone was still upsetwith me after following the above, I would offer my apology and move along. We are all human and life happens.

There may be some companions who double book or who are flakey as well as guys who do the same. That is clearly wrong and hopefully their reputations catch up with them sooner rather than later.

[Guest021115]

Oenghus... Not sure if this post was related to me at all, but I wanted you to know that I am not upset with you at all for having to cancel. You told me WAY in advance! I'll happily schedule you again for another time, if it works for both of us!

[stacy in kc]

I had Two cancellations today. One booked yesterday, and the other was coming in short notice, both said they couldnt get away from work. Not a big deal, i will see them eventually.

[bartipero]

This is true in regular situations, too, not just the hobby. I liked the views expressed by you ladies, and thought Ari's treatment spot on, but have one observation on item 4. I take that as she intended, but there are those people who offer immediate alternatives thinking you won't take it. I'll bet most people do not immediately reschedule, since an outing generally takes planning, so that group uses it as an escape gambit.

So there are a few who if you took them up on it immediately chances are you would get shut out again. It's a form of implied communication that is somewhat cowardly and certainly disrespectful, perhaps a statement they don't value you. But accidents and incidents happen, thus Ari's list. What follows is what occurs with the worthless ones.

I've been stood up 7 times in my life, with the same 3 girls responsible for 6+ (you'll see what I mean with "+") of the incidents. (In other words the immediate alternate offer with them is often itself a red flag for 'I really am not that interested' or 'I've decided there isn't enough of a reward to be had if I go' depending upon the person, or they are hiding something and saving face.) But when it happens, I turn it into sport if I sense it's b.s. in any way--which it usually is--and use it as an opportunity to get better at reading people.

I've been pretty accurate about what was really at work as a result. For example, one of the serial cancellors had a legit conflict on the first incident with an immediate alternative date offer, and the girl contacted me back a few days later to make sure I knew it was sincere and we rescheduled, which impressed me.

And the replacement outing was fun. But then she figured out running game wasn't working. So the second date after the rescheduled one she flat forgot, but went out when I called anyway, and essentially accommodated me. That one wasn't fun, though I enjoyed where we went and by then her colors we're showing and I could tell for sure what her deal was, which she never figured out I knew, until we discussed it a few months later after she became too curious about why I had no use for her and then decided to find out.

The second serial cancellor was similar to the first, but both cancellations were 'something better came up' deals, with the first rescheduled; and on the rescheduled one it started over an hour late, we did go out, but what a piece if work--constantly texting, on the phone, asking bizarre questions. I nearly left several times on it, but decided to see how bad the train wreck would get--sport.

The third, or "+", was a classic. This one was true sport. I count it as two as everything after the first cancellation was just a human study. It was so obvious I would schedule, but not actually go merely awaitng the excuse call while doing sonething else. I even set one date at the same time as a business meeting and took the cancellation call in a break. She ultimately scheduled and cancelled 4 more times, each time offering Ari's immediate alternative. One reason, on the second cancellation, was actually a 'dead relative' excuse, a grandma, I think. Lol. Don't use that one in the Google age folks. (Plus, with that one she forgot she had killed grandma and later asked me how she should handle an issue involving poor grandma, surprisingly spry given her untimely death and miracle resurrection.)

Oh, sure, I've remained somewhat in contact with this serial cancellor because she's alright and basically harmless. The funny thing is she made it up to me in other ways and actually isn't that bad once you understand about everything has an underlying motive with her, and is mostly her trying to avoid making people mad.

There are some people who just can't tell you what's up, they just are unable to do that for whatever reason, but this one had the greatest b.s. excuses, and all were so sincere.

Then there was the one with only one cancellation. That one was truly a no count human being. But I figured she would be a 'no show' and was right and that was the value in it--a correct guess.

It amazes me how some extremely attractive women are just without common graces, and here you have a short list of examples. But the vast majority are just great, so it's only a definite minority that stick out, and though aggravating, that group and the pathology of their cancellations can actually be entertaining.

[hughhefner]

I've interspersed some comments below.

Originally Posted by bartipero

This is true in regular situations, too, not just the hobby. I liked the views expressed by you ladies, and thought Ari's treatment spot on, but have one observation on item 4. I take that as she intended, but there are those people who offer immediate alternatives thinking you won't take it. I'll bet most people do not immediately reschedule, since an outing generally takes planning, so that group uses it as an escape gambit.

So there are a few who if you took them up on it immediately chances are you would get shut out again. It's a form of implied communication that is somewhat cowardly and certainly disrespectful, perhaps a statement they don't value you. [my emphasis] But accidents and incidents happen, thus Ari's list. What follows is what occurs with the worthless ones.

This would be a form of passive-aggressiveness, too common even outside the profession.

I've been stood up 7 times in my life, with the same 3 girls responsible for 6+ (you'll see what I mean with "+") of the incidents. (In other words the immediate alternate offer with them is often itself a red flag for 'I really am not that interested' or 'I've decided there isn't enough of a reward to be had if I go' depending upon the person, or they are hiding something and saving face.) But when it happens, I turn it into sport if I sense it's b.s. in any way--which it usually is--and use it as an opportunity to get better at reading people.

Bart, you're lucky you've only been stood up 7 times in your life! I've been there so many times over the years that I can't begin to estimate. As they used to say on Hee-Haw, "If it weren't for bad luck, I'd have no luck at all." Yes, it depends on the ladies we're responsible for choosing; there are upstanding ones such as those who answered Oenghus' question, but there are others, for instance on BP, who will put you on their personal blacklists, which can be a blessing in disguise.

I've been pretty accurate about what was really at work as a result. For example, one of the serial cancellors had a legit conflict on the first incident with an immediate alternative date offer, and the girl contacted me back a few days later to make sure I knew it was sincere and we rescheduled, which impressed me.

At least you were lucky enough to have received calls for reschedules. I've never received any, and I know from the MBs that I'm not alone on this. I've discovered after the fact that too many of the women I've "missed," and some I didn't, had a lot of issues that preclude their even answering the second phone call!

And the replacement outing was fun. But then she figured out running game wasn't working. So the second date after the rescheduled one she flat forgot, but went out when I called anyway, and essentially accommodated me. That one wasn't fun, though I enjoyed where we went and by then her colors we're showing and I could tell for sure what her deal was, which she never figured out I knew, until we discussed it a few months later after she became too curious about why I had no use for her and then decided to find out.

The second serial cancellor was similar to the first, but both cancellations were 'something better came up' deals, with the first rescheduled; and on the rescheduled one it started over an hour late, we did go out, but what a piece if work--constantly texting, on the phone, asking bizarre questions. I nearly left several times on it, but decided to see how bad the train wreck would get--sport.

This is a good example of one type of general experience that I've seen too many times. In a number of instances, I did leave prematurely after having paid full fee and didn't even ask for a refund. I can still visualize some of these times where I just ended up walking out after the woman showed her hand (no, not for that!).

The third, or "+", was a classic. This one was true sport. I count it as two as everything after the first cancellation was just a human study. It was so obvious I would schedule, but not actually go merely awaitng the excuse call while doing sonething else. I even set one date at the same time as a business meeting and took the cancellation call in a break. She ultimately scheduled and cancelled 4 more times, each time offering Ari's immediate alternative. One reason, on the second cancellation, was actually a 'dead relative' excuse, a grandma, I think. Lol. Don't use that one in the Google age folks. (Plus, with that one she forgot she had killed grandma and later asked me how she should handle an issue involving poor grandma, surprisingly spry given her untimely death and miracle resurrection.)

Oh, sure, I've remained somewhat in contact with this serial cancellor because she's alright and basically harmless. The funny thing is she made it up to me in other ways and actually isn't that bad once you understand about everything has an underlying motive with her, and is mostly her trying to avoid making people mad.

When we lose, it can be difficult to remain the dispassionate observer, especially when precious resources have been flushed. A few around here know of my experiences with someone who would put your female to shame. I know because you said yours was "basically harmless." Mine was not, and still is not, as she continues her string of creating chaos among men (and women) as foolish as I was. Some of her cohorts still run around on BP. These people are serial people abusers as they work to get a buck here and there, only to blow it all very quickly and do life sentences one misdemeanor and felony at a time. These forums have always provided great testimony to that.

There are some people who just can't tell you what's up, they just are unable to do that for whatever reason, but this one had the greatest b.s. excuses, and all were so sincere.

Bart, you've given some classic examples. Humanity, in general, is made of all types of individuals, and many people are simply inept when it comes to respecting others.My aforementioned female, along with a few others, are actually mentally unable to tell the truth; it is mental pathology. As you noted, some just want to save face and use avoidance to achieve it. At the other extreme are those who willfully and flagrantly lie, cheat, and steal as a way of life, and it is sport for them. We are talking sociopathy at its finest. As with any other endeavor, the escort world contains all types, providers and consumers alike, and both have to put up with a lot. Such is life. Stuff happens. Live and learn. Just say, "No."

Then there was the one with only one cancellation. That one was truly a no count human being. But I figured she would be a 'no show' and was right and that was the value in it--a correct guess.

It amazes me how some extremely attractive women are just without common graces, and here you have a short list of examples. But the vast majority are just great, so it's only a definite minority that stick out, and though aggravating, that group and the pathology of their cancellations can actually be entertaining.

Physical attractiveness is certainly not highly correlated with respect for others. If it were, the guys could all bat a thousand, and providers could look through the window or the door and easily choose not to open it. You mentioned that "the vast majority are just great." Of course we can't say that unless we've seen everyone, but your statement does give the benefit of the doubt to people en masse, a view of the glass as half-full.

For every encounter where men and women are treated well and where they treat the other party the same, we all benefit. Anyone who is lucky enough to be able to see the honest and true ladies around these parts is fortunate indeed. And strong is the man or woman who can continue in the face of repeated bad behavior and not become the hardened skeptic. Thanks for your good post, Bart, and for everyone else's good words!

[AllThisMeat]

I've only had one girl ever get upset with me for canceling... however, she was over an hour late for our appointment and told me that if I call her again she's going to charge me more because I "wasted her time".

I feel the communication and treating your play partners well goes a long way. Most ladies simply want to know that something has come up as soon as possible. I have a handful of regulars that I see who are very understanding with my schedule should something arise.