Getting a loan on a home... HELP!

[Guest021022-2]

I'm about to get in a contract for 150k home....Problem is... I haven't had a 9-5 or filed taxes in years... The payments are not the problem it's getting the loan in my name that I'm worried about.. Yikes! Help! How would I go about this.... I have OK credit and have a year and a half to work on it... I need answers! Please!

[acp5762]

Find some rich guy on here and have him pay for it in cash and just set up a payment Amorization schedule with him. If ya think about it not a bad option.

[shorty]

Could also see if owners are willing to finance it for you. Its more like a lease to own agreement. If you do reach an agreement with the owners to finance it, keep all reciepts that you made your payments.

[The Accidental Hobbyist]

It would be hard to do because banks and lenders are requiring tax returns to prove income. If you send me a pm to remind me, I'll be glad to ask some of my contacts to see if there is alternative way income can be verified without tax returns when I get back to office on Monday.

[BlackMistress]

You will have to have the proper paperwork (taxes, bank statments).
If you don't have time to do all this yourself the best option would be to hire a CPA so he can start a record of your income (you will need to file back tax returns too). Be HONEST that you are a self employed entertainer, start keeping reciepts, and make regular deposits into your checking account.

If you have a bank in mind that you want to go through go ahead and contact a mortgage specialist there and ask specific quetions about what you need to qualify for a home loan.

[Whispers]

You need 2 years tax records where your AGI (after deductions if self employed naturally) is enough income to justify the loan after taking existing debts into consideration. This trips up most self employed that like to write off everything they can. If you have a car payment and a few credit cards totalling less than a grand a month you will probably need returns reflecting around $37-$40K to get into a $150K home. very dependant on other things like taxes an insurance....

Three options....

Rent for now and report properly for the next two years

or amend 2010 and 2011 to reflect the income but you will see penalties for 2010 most likely and need to bite the bullet paying self employment taxes normally paid by an employer. If you go from little to nothing reported over the last two years to $40k a year be ready to shell out $12-$15K to the IRS

You need someone to run the figures for you but if you have enough money for a down payment and to go back two years legitimizing taxes you might want to just find a hard money lender that will charge you a higher rate but possibly finance possibly 70% of it's appraised value. $40-$50K WILL get you into a house. Rate will be high but legitimize your documentation and refinance in a couple of years. Buy the right property and odds are it will appreciate enough to justify the short term expenses.

If your credit is NOT good then rent on a two year lease with an optionn to buy at a price you agree to today. Offer up a larger than normal deposit to convert to earnest money for the sale at the end of the two years.

You can pretty much fix any credit issue and legitimize yourself tax wise in two years or less.

[Guest121212]

Originally Posted by Whispers

You need 2 years tax records where your AGI (after deductions if self employed naturally) is enough income to justify the loan after taking existing debts into consideration. This trips up most self employed that like to write off everything they can. If you have a car payment and a few credit cards totalling less than a grand a month you will probably need returns reflecting around $37-$40K to get into a $150K home. very dependant on other things like taxes an insurance....

Three options....

Rent for now and report properly for the next two years

or amend 2010 and 2011 to reflect the income but you will see penalties for 2010 most likely and need to bite the bullet paying self employment taxes normally paid by an employer. If you go from little to nothing reported over the last two years to $40k a year be ready to shell out $12-$15K to the IRS

You need someone to run the figures for you but if you have enough money for a down payment and to go back two years legitimizing taxes you might want to just find a hard money lender that will charge you a higher rate but possibly finance possibly 70% of it's appraised value. $40-$50K WILL get you into a house. Rate will be high but legitimize your documentation and refinance in a couple of years. Buy the right property and odds are it will appreciate enough to justify the short term expenses.

If your credit is NOT good then rent on a two year lease with an optionn to buy at a price you agree to today. Offer up a larger than normal deposit to convert to earnest money for the sale at the end of the two years.

You can pretty much fix any credit issue and legitimize yourself tax wise in two years or less.

Best answer in the thread - whatever you do - DO NOT "fake" your tax return and try to use a document you didn't actually file with the IRS with a bank or lender . . . they'll find out, and they prosecute. . . A federal felony has no provision to be expunged, it would require a Presidential pardon. YOU DO NOT want a federal felony, trust me, my ex had one for conspiracy to commit a crime (not even an overt act, just conspiring to commit a crime - and he will pay for it for life. Go back and file, pay the penalties and pray the IRS doesn't get a hair up their ass and want to go back even further than two years when you file . . . Good luck.

[ShysterJon]

It's my understanding that this topic has come up repeatedly in the girls-only area(s), so you may want to do some reading there and post if necessary.

Originally Posted by acp5762

Find some rich guy on here and have him pay for it in cash and just set up a payment Amorization schedule with him. If ya think about it not a bad option.

No offense, but that has to be one of the dumbest things I've ever read here - truly.

[Chica Chaser]

Originally Posted by ShysterJon

No offense, but that has to be one of the dumbest things I've ever read here - truly.

So many ways that can and will go wrong SJ!

[ShysterJon]

Originally Posted by Chica Chaser

So many ways that can and will go wrong SJ!

Yeah, no shit. I wonder how many times over the years a guy has come crying to me because he entered into a lease to get an apartment for a provider, then she put away the pooch, leaving our pathetic friend with rent to pay and satisfaction with Rosie and her four sisters. So, yeah, let's take that up a notch and make an unsecured loan to a provider for $150,000. That'll still leave me with a few dollars to tattoo 'STUPID' on my forehead.

[acp5762]

Originally Posted by ShysterJon

It's my understanding that this topic has come up repeatedly in the girls-only area(s), so you may want to do some reading there and post if necessary.

No offense, but that has to be one of the dumbest things I've ever read here - truly.

Well ya know so many guys here treat these girls like the daughters they never had and the hot chick they could never get. So I figured one of those dumb fucks would probabably contact her. I also bet its not the dumbest thing you've ever read here. In fact it probably hits closer to home than you'll ever be willing to admit.

[The Accidental Hobbyist]

Jackie is correct: don't falsify any income documents. We have fired an employee and brought charges against a borrower for that stuff. It's good to ask to see what can be used, especially in this situation. Income will not be the issue, the source of the income will be. With no tax on file, it would be a tough climb.

[Gotyour6]

Lol,
Maybe pay taxes on the money you make?

That would be a start.
You can still file taxes like everyone else.

The job is great untill you grow up and want to buy a house.
Dont mean to sound bitter but if you make 250.00 or more an hour I am thinking you should think about paying taxes.

One of the only things you can do it see if you can file tax records for the last 3 years and pay your taxes.

Take all of your bills and ad about 30% and claim that as your income.
Then go to the local CPA and talk to them. Not H and R block
Ask what it would cost and hell, knowing Obama you would get a refund for the last 3 years and have a down payment for the house.

[bladtinzu]

Originally Posted by sexxximami

I'm about to get in a contract for 150k home....Problem is... I haven't had a 9-5 or filed taxes in years... The payments are not the problem it's getting the loan in my name that I'm worried about.. Yikes! Help! How would I go about this.... I have OK credit and have a year and a half to work on it... I need answers! Please!

Rent. No tax returns no home. Simple answer. And I wouldn't freely on a public forum say I haven't filed taxes in years.. Just not real smart to bring out into public view.

[bladtinzu]

Originally Posted by ShysterJon

Yeah, no shit. I wonder how many times over the years a guy has come crying to me because he entered into a lease to get an apartment for a provider, then she put away the pooch, leaving our pathetic friend with rent to pay and satisfaction with Rosie and her four sisters. So, yeah, let's take that up a notch and make an unsecured loan to a provider for $150,000. That'll still leave me with a few dollars to tattoo 'STUPID' on my forehead.

Which is why no one should NEVER buy an escort shit much less use their good credit to get them anything. But there are plenty of weak ass suckers out there who do it day in and day out. Then cry about it later. lmao