A question for St. Christopher and the Community....The Board has Rules and the community has expectations...How far do you go to enforce those rules?

[Whispers]

Marley has acknowledged publicly, that she has information that was posted in the Men's Locker Room.

She got it from someone..... Is anyone pushing for her to disclose that source?

And she posted in generality about it here in CoEd..... Where Mods are allowing it to remain posted....

TWO people definitely do not respect the privacy and rules of the board..... Marley and the PW WK asswipe that shared the information with her......

If it was a guy posting the contents of the ladies private area what would happen? I'm sure we all have an opinion on how fast that would be dealt with.....

Am I foolish enough to expect things I post in the Locker Room to stay there?

Not at all.... I understand human nature and the mentality of a Pussy Whipped asshole that will go running to some lady with the information for a pat on the head..... I prefer some discussions remain the the Locker Room because I simply don't want the whining of the ladies or the posturing of their suitors which we don't see AS MUCH when a thread is in the Locker Room...

I will go so far as to say that at times it is not a bad thing that some of the information finds the ear of a lady that decides to clean up her act as a result.....

But it should never find it's way to a thread in CoEd on the board and when it does there should be repercussions.....

This is a recurring problem on boards all over the country.....

I've been privileged to be a member of more than a few......

One comes to mind where in a situation like this one the Lady gets immediately banned and is not allowed back until she gives up her "source" who is then identified to the community and subsequently banned as well.....

Personally, I think that was a pretty good policy..... Did it put a stop to information leaking? Of course not...... but it kept the crap BCD where it belonged..... And if a lady valued her business enough and needed the resources of the board she would give up the information and the board would deal with it......

How do other members feel?

Ladies? If it was me posting information from a thread in the Ladies Private area, honestly, what call to action would you be raising hell requesting?

Guys? What's your feeling on this matter?

When responding, forget the nature of the information that has been disclosed..... deal with the concept of the subject.......

[Yssup Rider]

AMEN BROTHER!

This very well could be the defining moment of ECCIE and the direction this community takes.

What's the next step? Accessing private personal information? Calling the SO? LE?

Why even play if the game's not a game?

And, in agreement with Whispers, I do not think the information is worthy of anyone getting his/her huevos in an uproar. I skimmed but didn't really read the BCD thread in question. Just didn't interest me.

But the fact that someone's leaking BCD information and someone else is foolish enough to post it in a co-ed forum is completely ludicrous.

I'm with you Whispers... without strict and swift enforcement, there will be no deterrent to this cowardly behavior.

That said, I really like the more relaxed, hands-off approach by the ECCIE mods. I think the conversations are more lively and feel less oppressed (and surpressed) than they did on the RIP board.

But this shit cannot be allowed to continue.

[ANONONE]

Hmmmmm. . .

We all know leaks happen, and the wise hobbyist understands that what they post or say will most likely slip out from any illusion of privacy, so take heed. . .

HOWEVER

When it occurs publicly, as the OP points out, there must be public action and sanctions in order to curb such future behavior--even if it comes merely in the form of a public reprimand and reminder so as to be instructional. We can't afford to wink and nod at such behavior or eventually the erosion of the policy will be complete.

[Miss Sophie Bella]

Whispers dear, it's certainly no secret that information leaks from areas of the board that are expected, according to board rules, to stay confidential among the posters allowed access there. Both the Locker Room and Provider Info Exchange are susceptible to this. The reality is that the intimacy a lady and gentlemen share, particularly if they've known one another over a period of time, will always trump the loyalty they feel to a stranger on a message board online. People talk. Let's not pretend to be surprised. There's little a moderator on a board can do to "force" information out of anyone. I'm sure they do the absolute best they can to enforce rules and to keep the peace, but again, this is only an online message board that relies on its members behaving like civil adults.

If other people want to stir the pot or disregard the rules established by the owners that's not my problem or yours. The only thing you can truly do is be responsible for yourself and your own behavior.

[Whispers]

Originally Posted by Miss Sophie Bella

Whispers dear, it's certainly no secret that information leaks from areas of the board that are expected, according to board rules, to stay confidential among the posters allowed access there. Both the Locker Room and Provider Info Exchange are susceptible to this. The reality is that the intimacy a lady and gentlemen share, particularly if they've known one another over a period of time, will always trump the loyalty they feel to a stranger on a message board online. People talk. Let's not pretend to be surprised.

I think from my post there is no way for anyone to assume I am surprised.... I KNOW beyond the shadow of a doubt that the information that is posted gets shared..... But when it is put back out publicly..It should get dealt with and the person doing it should be dealt with...

There's little a moderator on a board can do to "force" information out of anyone. I'm sure they do the absolute best they can to enforce rules and to keep the peace, but again, this is only an online message board that relies on its members behaving like civil adults.

I disagree..... Banning the Provider and removing all of her ads is tremendous pressure if she is dependent on the board for revenue..... It DOES work in some situations....I've seen it work......Doing Nothing at all is a very dangerous concept to set....... Allowing A provider or hobbyist to remain with no sanction is a insult to the other members of the community...

If other people want to stir the pot or disregard the rules established by the owners that's not my problem or yours. The only thing you can truly do is be responsible for yourself and your own behavior.

I'm sorry Mamm but I do believe it is MY problem... as well as YOUR problem..... I believe it is a COMMUNITY problem.....

Ladies? If it was me posting information from a thread in the Ladies Private area, honestly, what call to action would you be raising hell requesting?

I assume from your response you personally would have no problem then with me posting information from PIE?

[guest040711-1]

Whispers did you RTM the issue? That's the fastest way to draw our attention to any issue on the site.

[tcreative2]

I can assure all of you that this problem is being handled the best we can with the power we can bring to bear .......... the man who gave Marley the information unsollicited didn't do her any favors as she's going to have to fall on her sword to protect him ...... if he's got any self respect he'll come forward and admit to what he's done to protect her ...... what do you suppose the odds are on that happening?

[Miss Sophie Bella]

Originally Posted by Whispers

I'm sorry Mamm but I do believe it is MY problem... as well as YOUR problem..... I believe it is a COMMUNITY problem.....

Ladies? If it was me posting information from a thread in the Ladies Private area, honestly, what call to action would you be raising hell requesting?

I assume from your response you personally would have no problem then with me posting information from PIE?

That is unequivocally not what I said. Each of us here are responsible for our words and our actions. I am not suggesting that breaking rules should be without consequences. Quite the contrary, each person needs to be accountable for what they individually do and say. When you make another individual's bad behavior your own problem that is your choice. No one had thrust that upon you. You're choosing to involve yourself. I tend to stay out of heated debates here not because I don't have thoughts and opinions about the idea expressed, but rather because I know that the only person I can control is me.

The moderators will no doubt address this. My intent was to point out that we should allow that process to occur and not interject ourselves into situations that don't involve us. My mama called it "minding one's own business". It's a valuable life skill.

[Whispers]

Originally Posted by SP Hunter

Whispers did you RTM the issue? That's the fastest way to draw our attention to any issue on the site.

By the time I noticed the thread there were already staff edits from TC2 so there was no reason.... Staff was already aware......So in all honesty....... No...... I don't like being one of those that hit that button....

I do think that this is an issue deserving of some discussion though....

maybe not... time will certainly tell..

[Whispers]

Originally Posted by tcreative2

the man who gave Marley the information unsollicited didn't do her any favors as she's going to have to fall on her sword to protect him ...... if he's got any self respect he'll come forward and admit to what he's done to protect her ...... what do you suppose the odds are on that happening?

hmmm... A true WK would certainly sacrifice himself for his lady wouldn't he? Unfortunately the kind of person that does those things simply lacks any kind of character at all

[Whispers]

Originally Posted by Miss Sophie Bella

....... No one had thrust that upon you. You're choosing to involve yourself......

I do tend to do that.... Not just here though... The other day I witnessed a lady being overly abusive to her child at Wal-Mart and chose to say something to her in the hopes of calming her down...... When I see someone broke down or come across an accident I stop to see if anyone needs help...... So I do tend to involve myself as a member of a community where I see things that I feel need involvement......

I tend to stay out of heated debates here not because I don't have thoughts and opinions about the idea expressed, but rather because I know that the only person I can control is me.

The moderators will no doubt address this. My intent was to point out that we should allow that process to occur and not interject ourselves into situations that don't involve us. My mama called it "minding one's own business". It's a valuable life skill.

I agree that the Process needs to occur....... But this thread is more about wanting to know what that process currently is as well as what member's feel it should be......

When I started writing the thread, Marley was still posting to it, staff had made some edits.... but there was no discussion of the issue itself being dealt with......

A lot of us want to see less staff involvement and when there IS staff involvement some explanation of what actions were taken and why..... I think a lot of people hated the way threads just disappeared and were locked over on ASPD with no explanation at all.....

This board is experiencing rapid growth and will be dealing more and more with situations that were not issues 4 months ago so some public discussion by members of the community as well as input from members will help to shape the direction the board takes.....

[ANONONE]

Originally Posted by tcreative2

I can assure all of you that this problem is being handled the best we can with the power we can bring to bear .......... the man who gave Marley the information unsollicited didn't do her any favors as she's going to have to fall on her sword to protect him ...... if he's got any self respect he'll come forward and admit to what he's done to protect her ...... what do you suppose the odds are on that happening?

Maybe I am a doof, but it seems this would be an easy solution. Let's say you decide this offense is worthy of a six-month suspension. You contact Marley and simply say:

"You get a choice. You can be suspended for six months and protect the person that leaked private information to you, or you can reveal that source, and you both will be suspended for three months."

[Spacemtn]

While I like Marley and I am sad to see her announce her departure form our community, I have to weigh in with Whispers on this one.

This should perhaps be a lesson (for lack of a better way of stating it) for those that want to share information that is priveleged. Maybe you think that the person that you share the info with will be circumspect and respect the intimate nature of the information that was shared, but in the end it usually gets posted in a public area. Especially when the information shared is about the person that you are sharing it with. You thought that you were currying favor with this person and that they would maintain the confidence you had unwittingly placed in them. There goes the "trust" factor that you thought existed with that person.

This will not cease until members of the community realize that the penalties for these indescretions are banishment from the community. Then, and only then, will people stop and consider the consequences before breaking the rules of the community.

[guest040711-1]

Whispers while you were starting This thread I'd already invested a couple hrs into starting investigation as to who leaked what. As stated by T2 Marely chose not to reveal the source so once again good intentions go bad on the part of the guy that leaked the info.

While we are all about being as transparent as possible there are some things we do in private as we look at all sides of issues. You mention how it was on aspd and we understand those concerns, we are doing what we can to assure this site is as open and transparent as possible.

[administrator]

You're all on the right track and actions are taking place as we speak on this matter. punishment involves, at the very least, loss of premium access or provider status in these instances....all the way up to loss of posting privileges. And yes, as somebody alluded to, cooperation always helps to lessen the severity of punishment depending on the circumstances. On a side note, I'm not always so compassionate for the provider who chooses to react publicly to private info...as if she's some sort of victim. I don't buy it. We can never plug every single leak but it's the responsibility of the recipient of such information to avoid reaction, which in the end puts herself and the source at odds with the community. In other words, they're both in the wrong

We take these matters seriously...and quite obviously, so do you. Understandably so.

St. C