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Guest041413-2 · 02-24-2012, 11:07 PM

Hobbyists, have you ever experienced this phenomena? A Provider gets emotionally attached and begins to issue demands, restrictions on who you can see. She even monitors your reviews and gets pissed because you reviewed a fem so nicely?

This is not a rhetorical question. If this has happened to you, how did you handle it. If after conversation, she is still "griping", what do you do next.

For hobbyists who haven't experienced this, is this something you yurn to experience to feed your ego.

Providers, have you ever fallen for a Hobbyist and try to forge your way into his polygamus lifestyle...How did you handle it?

Still Looking · 02-24-2012, 11:15 PM

These gals don't care about us! Well except Charles.... Try and hobby without the money and lets talk! LOL

alluringava · 02-24-2012, 11:43 PM

I think a good question would be, why do clients get attached, and start texting and calling constantly, e mailing, and then getting annoyed when I have to tell them " I have to go, I have to work?" Or start getting stalkerish when I tell them I'm not interested in a relationship, this isn't AOL Love Connection.

Guest102513-1 · 02-25-2012, 12:08 AM

Without question "attachment issues" happens both ways.

That is why, ya got to keep boundries from the very beginning.

There is nothing wrong with a healthy, fun, business related friendhip...matter of fact it's great.

But everyone needs to keep in mind...for the guys' it is all about a fantasy. For the girls' it is business. Now there is plenty of room in between for a very cool friendship.

But once the boundries are bent...it is hard to righten the ship.

For me, it is always difficult when you see someone regularly...but then the rules are tested. Sometimes, ya need to be a bit coldhearted (but that can be handle in a respectful but firm way). For example, you get the phone call telling you about a series of events that has put her into $$$ troubles...she considers you a friend, therefore could you help her out. My deal is compassion, but I don't do loans...perhaps i might offer her the opportunity to see me as a way to help out, but no loans and no advances. (This is just one example).

And quite frankly, unless I have seen someone over a period of months...I don't want to hear about personal stuff...good or bad. Not about eating up time...but boundries.

And don't even get started about boyfriend issues...I'm not a counseler.

And of course the same principles are applied to me.

Keep it real, keep it fun, keep it honest...but also keep it about business.
Everyone wins then!!

Gladiator69 · 02-25-2012, 12:08 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mijo(BFE)

Hobbyists, have you ever experienced this phenomena? A Provider gets emotionally attached and begins to issue demands, restrictions on who you can see. She even monitors your reviews and gets pissed because you reviewed a fem so nicely?

This is not a rhetorical question. If this has happened to you, how did you handle it. If after conversation, she is still "griping", what do you do next.

For hobbyists who haven't experienced this, is this something you yurn to experience to feed your ego.

Providers, have you ever fallen for a Hobbyist and try to forge your way into his polygamus lifestyle...How did you handle it?

mijo, I actually did have a provider act this way towards me. The funny thing is she at first recommended this "friend" to me and afterwards must have had some sort of falling out with her after the first time I saw her. Well I had a FANTASTIC time with the friend and continued to see her and dropped the other when she basically forbid me to see her again. FYI I still see the friend every chance I get!!

Mature Companion · 02-25-2012, 12:58 AM

Hmm,
It's been the other way around for me. I've dealt with my fair share of men in this hobby, who get attached and think they own me. And I've nipped that in the ass real quick and immediately stop seeing them.
And the change in character for some has been scary.

I feel there are MORE men in this hobby seeking emotional attachment, than there are women.

Quote:

Originally Posted by mijo(BFE)

Hobbyists, have you ever experienced this phenomena? A Provider gets emotionally attached and begins to issue demands, restrictions on who you can see. She even monitors your reviews and gets pissed because you reviewed a fem so nicely?

This is not a rhetorical question. If this has happened to you, how did you handle it. If after conversation, she is still "griping", what do you do next.

For hobbyists who haven't experienced this, is this something you yurn to experience to feed your ego.

Providers, have you ever fallen for a Hobbyist and try to forge your way into his polygamus lifestyle...How did you handle it?

Pink Floyd · 02-25-2012, 01:35 AM

I experienced that in a strip club, but never in the Hobby.

Shayla · 02-25-2012, 03:18 AM

Yeah, happened to me once. It was a little different though. He wasn't a "high volume" hobbyist to begin with and was definitely more the faithful type. Just inbetween relationships and that's why he hobbied. Anyway, I quit for briefly but it just didn't work out for personal reasons.
Some of my clients have actually become my friends but never over stepped any boundaries since that one incident. Have no interest in it either. I don't care what they do in their personal lives.

Guest041413-2 · 02-25-2012, 03:44 AM

Looks like there are many experiences out there. Hobbyists refer to these providers as EMOs and it appears there's financial manipulation or gain associated with it. SL said it well. However, EMOs typically don't take 'NO' too well and don't go away easily.

For Providers, this attachement from Hobbyists is more PSYCHOlogical on the hobbyist's part. Attached to the "Fantasy" and having a hard time separating "Fantasy" from RL.

It is normal to experience emotions for each other for the moment or even over time. It is how those emotions are handled. While I do not see my Providers as a just a body, I am very excited to meet and experience the fems I choose to see. And, I do indulge along with providing my best too. I also respect their time, their need for a break and also their emotions. For any cuties I see on a regular, it is anywhere from 6mos to 1yr between repeats. I do believe as a hobbyist, I can "over-stay my welcome" by visiting too often. Then, the novelty wears off and the Provider gets tired of seeing your ass. That's my approach, right or wrong.

B.Wayne · 02-25-2012, 06:07 AM

Well I guess first you have to know what the boundaries are..in other words you have to cross the line sometimes in order to know where the line is...what happens after that can pretty much be summed up in a few scenarios. But I am not an expert. What can be awsome is if you can have some small issue and talk with eachother and come out on top and move forward and grow from the experience. I wonder how much that could be decreased with more frequent get togethers? in other words could you stand eachother if you saw a woman everyweek? Sometime a little time away with only conversations or email can help build the anticipation. But for me personally if Im interested in you then I dont need time away but that is for ME she may be different and thats where not being selfish comes in. I have yet to experience any OTC things, like dinner or lunch or events but I wonder how much that plays into things...for me my problem is I guess I might ask questions that are too personal but its not because im nosy I am just interested in the woman I am with..thats why I was attracted to her in the first place. but maby thats the wrong approach....i dont know.

pyramider · 02-25-2012, 06:27 AM

Call Dr. Phil, he will fix it.

macdeft · 02-25-2012, 06:40 AM

like everything else in life, just deal with it bro

JONBALLS · 02-25-2012, 06:51 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by macdeft

like everything else in life, just deal with it bro

sweet avatar

charlestudor2005 · 02-25-2012, 07:08 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Still Looking

These gals don't care about us! Well except Charles.... Try and hobby without the money and lets talk! LOL

You beat me to it. My initial thought was, "Are you kidding me?" With me, the emotional attachment is only to Ben. They could never have one to me. I only see them once.

Milehigh65 · 02-25-2012, 08:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by charlestudor2005

You beat me to it. My initial thought was, "Are you kidding me?" With me, the emotional attachment is only to Ben. They could never have one to me. I only see them once.

You guys are quick to the punch. Mijo, tell her you lost your job and you have no money and if she is willing to fuck for free. My guess is the only attachment she will have then; will be her "silence" button on her phone whenever you call.
Don't f;atter yourself in most cases for the provider is all about the money, no money, no honey . I'm sure there are cases where hobbyist can benefit from the attachment of a provider(rare). Always remember you walk away from a session with your chest stuck out thinking you just put it down on that provider like no other, but I assure you the next guy walks away feeling the same way.