They Call Me Tater Salad

[dearhunter]

My Name is Tater Salad

Date: First week of April 2010
Provider: dearhunter
Phone: 1-800-gofuckyourself
Email Address: dearhunter91@yahoo.com
URL / Website: only available to established clients
City: Houston
State: Texas
Address: West Side
Appointment Type: Incall
Did the Appointment take place at the agreed-upon time?: Yes
Activities: K9HJ, CGHJ, RCGHJ, MISHHJ, COC
Session Length: 1hr........I thinck
Fee: GSO3 + tater salad
Hair Color and Length: Brown short
Age: 4X
Smoking Status: Non-Smoker
Ethnic Background: White/Caucasian………with a hint of sage, rosemary and thyme
Physical Description: piercing blue eyes, chiseled chin, big fat gut

I have debated whether or not to put the BCD in “private mode”. Part of me wants share only with the bros………..but, then I remember that I am loved by the masses and owe all of the hobby community this little review……….so here goes.

Simpleton told me to go fuck myself. I am the Fucking prophet. So, it got me to thincking.

As I sat there thincking, I realized that it was lunch time and I was hungry. So, I went to the frige to get a bite to eat………I saw it sitting there on the second shelf beckoning to me……sweet (Goode Company) Tater Salad. Being an impulsive prophet, I snatched the pint and a spoon, retreating to my lazyboy recliner. Thus, I sat enjoying lunch pondering the incentives that keep me motivated in life.

Naturally, when I thought of incentives, the first incentive I thought of was cat=bitch=pussy, and I love pussy. So, I started thincking of good pussy as I slowly ate my tater salad.

Sometimes working alone from the house can be a good thing…….this was one of those times.

I sat there eating my tater salad thincking about all of the good pussy I have enjoyed from these hooktard boards. Naturally one thing led to another and the minor prophet woke up. So, I loosened up a little bit to relieve a little of the pressure….if you know what I mean……..I mean, who wouldn’t get a hard-on thinking of sweetness and my asian lovely in a bitch fight over my fat ass………..don’t you get wood just thincking about it?.......cuz would be proud.

Naturally, the hotter I got, the more stuff started coming off……it was like a slow strip-tease (without the pasties)……….then I saw him staring at me. He was hiding over by the edge of the couch……………I thinck I need to explain something to all of you. We have this dog. He is a watchdog (in a Chihuahua kind of way). But, the only things he ever barks at are the fucking cats that run through the yard occasionally………but, there he is at the edge of the couch just staring at me………….not being much of a Chihuahua person, I just ignore him for the most part. Today he was difficult to ignore. He was growling and cocking his head to the side…..staring at me.

That is when I saw it………..the small bottle of GSO3 left over from my Joanie experiment. I cannot describe the explosion of thoughts that ran through my brain at that moment. They ran from “should I start an experiment on the Chihuahua” to “I wonder if that shit really works”.

While I was very tempted to experiment on the Chihuahua, I chose to find out if that shit really works…………..the Chihuahua will have to wait for another day.

I decided to do it right. I set some mood music (Barry White) and laid out clean linen on the bed, as I retired to a more intimate setting.

I started out on the light side, remembering all of the hotties I pounded in the old days before Black Tuesday…………fap fap fap fap……….they were good memories and I really was rubbing myself in the right way……………(what was that whining I kept hearing in the corner of my mind)

Then , I started reminiscing about the post BT hotties I played with…….fap fap fap fap………which led me to my fantasies about my asian beauty once more………….fap fap fap fap……..I started thincking that maybe it was time to dab on a little of that GSO3……..but, I held back………..fap fap fap fap…….. I wanted to enjoy this for as long as possible……….fap fap fap fap……………(still hearing the whining noise in the corner of my mind)

One thing led to another, and the next thing I knew I was living the dream with my sweetness in Singapore………….fap fap fap fap……… it was time for some GSO3.

You know the old saying “a little dab will do you”? Remember that if you ever use GSO3. I put a drop on my scrotum and my world exploded (as the whining got louder). My crotch was on fire……….fap fap fap fap……….right before my very eyes, sweetness appeared. I pounded away at that stuff. I didn’t care what it smelled like. I didn’t look for blue water. I was a buck in the rut (the whining turned into howling). I was pounding sweetness in every position imaginable……….fap fap fap fap.

I had a raging hard on………you know, the kind the doctor warns you about with the little blue pill……….I felt like a fuck machine (again, with the fucked up howling) ………..fap fap fap fap………….and there she was, the vision of loveliness from days gone by, one of my all time fantasy latina hotties. I grabbed her by the ears and pounded that face……….fap fap fap fap…….

I came so hard I passed out.

I slowly came to my senses. I was in a bit of a fog. The first thing I noticed was the eerie quiet in the house……….then I could hear it…………a low soft whimper coming from behind the guitar stand in the corner of the bedroom.

I felt around on the bed……..there were pillow feathers everywhere. It looked like my poor pillows had been ravaged…………still the poor dog cowered in the corner behind the guitar stand.

As it all started coming back to me, I realized how potent this GSO3 really was…….and how addictive it could be for Yankees and cat herders…………note to self: leave a little GSO3 out for the SO to find.

It will take me hours to clean this place up. I don’t know how I will explain the jiz on the ceiling……….I thinck I will blame it on the dog. I notice he has come back out from behind the guitar stand and is sniffing the wind for some cats.

I will let him outside to herd cats for a while………..maybe it will make him feel less like a bitch and more like a cat…………..why doesn’t he come to me when I call him?

I’m hungry………I wonder if there is any of that Tater Salad left?

Recommendation: Yes, if you are strong enough

[boardman]

I knew better than to read this. I fucking knew better!!!!!!!!
Why don't I listen to myself? I hope Joanie enjoys it as much as you did.

Now, Since you mentioned it. Where is the closest Goode Co.?

[Merlin]

You obviously have too much time on your hands as well as other things.

[bbkid]

LMAO - d_h, that's just...........well........... ....wrong, man.

[notanewbie]

and you want dh writing reviews do ya'?

[Merlin]

Well, the skipper said you needed to write some reviews. Not sure if this is what he had in mind though.

[swwaustin]

TFF....Makes me wonder though...Just how long will it be before I can go to a BBQ joint order a side of potato salad, and eat it without thinking of DH's fap, fap, fap.

[simpleton]

Did you go american pie on the tator salad?

[texasjohn1965]

another classic

[Merlin]

Classic fucktard thread.

[Wayward]

Feel the need for a cigarette and don't even smoke, can only imagine what might have happened if there had been blue water. Outstanding review!

[Artie Lange]

ThreAD

[Merlin]

This is a marketing ploy to sell GSO3. Sad. Pitiful. Yet brilliant.

[texasjohn1965]

I feel cheated and used.......

somebody hold me

[Gator42]

LOL.........(shakes head).......WOW