Tell me a joke...

[TheDon]

I'll start!

Local News: Man's body found by tree.

It has been promoted to Chief Detective Tree

[junglemonkey]

What do you call 2 mexicans playing basketball together?

Juan on Juan.

PS. I am hispanic so I can say this!

[junglemonkey]

Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait stop right there! Listen: Stop right there, man. A man goes into a restaurant. You listenin'? A man goes into a restaurant, and he sits down, he's having a bowl of soup and he says to the waiter, waiter come taste the soup. Waiter says: Is something wrong with the soup? He says: Taste the soup. He says: Is there something wrong with the soup? Is the soup too hot? He says: Will you taste the soup? What's wrong, is the soup too cold? Will you just taste the soup?! Allright, I'll taste the soup - where's the spoon?? Aha. Aha! ...
Whadaya know from funny, you bastards?"

[rubyred]

Originally Posted by junglemonkey

What do you call 2 mexicans playing basketball together?

Juan on Juan.

PS. I am hispanic so I can say this!

[Wakeup]

Originally Posted by junglemonkey

Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait stop right there! Listen: Stop right there, man. A man goes into a restaurant. You listenin'? A man goes into a restaurant, and he sits down, he's having a bowl of soup and he says to the waiter, waiter come taste the soup. Waiter says: Is something wrong with the soup? He says: Taste the soup. He says: Is there something wrong with the soup? Is the soup too hot? He says: Will you taste the soup? What's wrong, is the soup too cold? Will you just taste the soup?! Allright, I'll taste the soup - where's the spoon?? Aha. Aha! ...
Whadaya know from funny, you bastards?"

"This is beautiful. What is that? Velvet?"

[Rubchasertx]

A guy visiting in Hawaii fell asleep on the beach for several hours and got a horrible sunburn, specifically to his upper legs. He went to the hospital, and was promptly admitted after being diagnosed with second-degree burns.

With his skin already starting to blister, and the severe pain he was in, the doctor prescribed continuous intravenous feeding with saline, electrolytes, a sedative, and a Viagra pill every four hours.

The nurse, who was rather astounded, asked, 'What good will Viagra do for him, Doctor?
The doctor replied, 'It won't do anything for his condition, but it‘ll keep the sheets off his legs.'

Happy summer everyone.

[datyking]

Originally Posted by rubyred

I'm not hispanic. What do you call a mexican baptism?...................... A Bean Dip!

[ppoon hound]

Man walks into a bar. The only people in the bar is the bartender and an attrative young lady at the end of the bar. Man says to the bartender, " I'd like to buy that douche bag at the end of the bar a drink."

Bartender looks at the man indignatly and says: "I don't know who in the fuck you think you are, but you don't talk about women like that in my bar!" Man says: "Yeah, yeah, ok, just ask her what she wants to drink."

Bartender walks down to the end of the bar and tells the young lady that the man at the other end of the bar wants to buy her a drink and asks her "What would you like to have?"

She says, "Vinegar and water."

[UTRenthusiast]

A man comes home from work and his wife is rushing out the door with her suitcase. Her husband asks "where are you going?" And she she says " I just found out that I can make $1000 a night in Las Vegas doing what I do for you for free. The husband says "wait here" and returns with a suitcase. The wife asks " where are you going" and the husband says " I'm going to Vegas with you to see how you are going to live on $1000 a year."

[TheDon]

Some nice one's in here.

Me: Knock Knock
You: Who's there?
Me: Done
You: Done who?
Me: Ryan Done.

[Hot to Trot Daphne]

Originally Posted by UTRenthusiast

A man comes home from work and his wife is rushing out the door with her suitcase. Her husband asks "where are you going?" And she she says " I just found out that I can make $1000 a night in Las Vegas doing what I do for you for free. The husband says "wait here" and returns with a suitcase. The wife asks " where are you going" and the husband says " I'm going to Vegas with you to see how you are going to live on $1000 a year."

[TheDon]

A man walks into a bar.

























His alcoholism is crippling his family.