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Tony Patella · 02-25-2010, 11:13 AM

OK, been thinking about this for a while, my fingers have cooled off and the desire to vent is still burning within, so here it is….

This board used to be so nice, before the demise of ASPD and the resulting influx of displaced members. There was minimal (if any) drama, name calling, and general useless fodder. But, progress is also change, and sadly not all change is good.

A recent thread started by a hobbyist on behalf of a lady in need triggered a number of replies. Some were supportive, others were negative, some were accusatory, others were defensive, some were critical of life choices, and still others were downright ugly.

So what’s my beef you ask? It’s quite simple, actually.

Regardless of who made the original post for help, whether it was sincere or not, whether it was originated at the request of a lady or a result of an individuals own good intentions, why can’t people simply look the other way and hold their tongue (or fingers as the case may be) when they don’t feel help is warranted?

Why not leave the negativity and cutting remarks out of it, and let the readers decide if they’d like to help? Why pile on, when it serves no useful purpose? If you don’t like what you’re reading, close the thread and move on. Negativity is such wasted energy.

My Dad taught me a lesson years ago, and it’s been stated on the boards before. If you’re going to help someone out financially or otherwise, do it because you want to. Don’t expect to mandate how the person you’re helping uses the money, or how they live their life. Assistance with conditions attached is a recipe for disaster and disappointment. And most importantly, never expect to see gratitude in return, or in the case of money a payback. If you receive thanks and/or payback, be pleasantly surprised. If not, at least you didn’t expect it from the start.

If you can’t provide help within these guidelines, then simply don’t bother. It’s just not how you’re wired as a human being. It doesn't make you a bad or good person, it's just who you are.

Whew! I feel better. Thanks for allowing me the opportunity to rant.

TP out for the day.

JohnBoyjrh · 02-25-2010, 12:14 PM

TP, That was perfect.

1thatgotaway · 02-25-2010, 12:32 PM

Amen Brother

~1TGA

Guest050911 · 02-25-2010, 12:43 PM

Nice post TP, totally agree. I do hope that everyone takes this in the spirit it is intended. We all just need to play more and be serious less. And we will be a happy crowd...

On that note... Off to find a friend and make a smile, hers or mine, or in a perfect world, ours..

looiecypher · 02-25-2010, 12:43 PM

My thoughts exactly.

Guest062124 · 02-25-2010, 04:01 PM

TP,

I think I love you! Thanks for speaking your mind.

RF

txcwby6 · 02-25-2010, 04:09 PM

Amen Brother!!!

KohanaKoa · 02-25-2010, 05:20 PM

Very good Mr. Patella.

aka · 02-25-2010, 06:01 PM

+1, TP.

Someone needed help.
Someone helped.
Someone wanted to help.

I don't think we really needed to bash any of those folks.

Fast Gunn · 02-25-2010, 06:27 PM

That was an excellent post, Tony.

I have wondered about that myself, but as I mentioned in a previous thread, there are people out there that are not all there.

A co-worker once confided in me that the reason he caused so much disruption in the office was "because he liked to be obnoxious".

WTF?

I don't know what happens to certain people that warps their thinking, maybe they were dropped and their wiring got crossed, but if they actually like being rude and obnoxious then they will continue until they are arrested or encounter someone even more warped and not inclined to tolerate such behavoir.

vnurse · 02-25-2010, 06:57 PM

There will always be people that cannot resist "putting in their two cents worth". Common sense and/or civility just are in short supply sometimes.

How ya doin', TonyP.? Check out the sig line! Maybe THAT will make you smile!

Redsan · 02-25-2010, 07:18 PM

VNURSE,
I like your signature line.

"A kinder, gentler provider"

vnurse · 02-25-2010, 07:30 PM

Thank you darlin'! It's all true too!

Clouddancer · 02-25-2010, 08:35 PM

Very well said, TP

Randy4Candy · 02-25-2010, 08:55 PM

or standing out, as the case may be. For whatever reason, these folks have to seek whatever attention they can and seem to think that a smarmy, cutting remark displays "maturity" or "insight." Ah, the joy and reward of being on hand to bathe in the light these people shine upon us all. They're just trying to get something else here that they're not getting in the real world.

The reason these folks don't "get it" is that they don't realize they are the punch line. Like most things in life, we have to wade through and filter out all of the noise and get to whatever essence there is. One just has to stay on subject and ignore the stuff that isn't pertinent.