Any male Doms or Sadists?

[Zena]

Any male Doms or Sadists? In~ Texas is preferred/ and Doms are preferred over Sadists. I just wanted to get your opinion on the hobby or ladies you have encountered in the hobby, please ??? Thank you!

[GoAheadMkMyDay]

Hi Zena,

With the right lady (hobby or otherwise), I call myself a light or sensual Dom. I'm always happy to chat about it, and learn more about it, but not sure what you're asking. The biggest problem I have with D/s in the hobby is time. D/s is not something I enjoy when I feel rushed, and longer sessions can add up, even if I can spare the time. For this reason I have explored this most in FWB relationships where the clock is hardly ever a factor. For me 2-4 hours is about right, allowing time for D/s play and recovery/relax time afterwards.

Ladies? Someone who's REALLY into it and we click together.

Any other areas you want to chat about?

[Zena]

Thank you "Go ahead..."

[bule84]

My opinion of D/s play in the hobby is that you can lightly explore it, but it is hard to really explore it. I don't even try to. To really explore, you have to develop a relationship, get to know and trust each other, the sub has to especially trust the Dom. You have to talk about limits, the Dom has to understand which ones are soft and the hard ones, and the ones in between. As you play those limits and other interests will evolve - if you are truly open minded. I have many interests now that I did not have a few years ago. There has to be a lot of communication involved.

The hobby revolves around limited interaction before meeting and relatively short meetings. A D/s scene takes time. It takes time to prepare and to play out. Unless the Dom (assuming in this instance that he is the male hobbiest) wants to pay for multi-hour sessions, I don't think this is realistic. And I doubt may providers are going to be restrained in the first few meetings.

Exploring light kink is probably more realistic in the hobby. That probably happens a good bit. But a lot of people think deep throat, being called slut or daddy, spankings, PSE meetings are kinky. To me those are not really kinky

But I also think that "kinky" is a marketing word by many providers. It is used in ads, but not a lot of kinky play actually happens. I know of one that has "Kinky" in her name, but I have never seen anything kinky in her reviews.

I'm sure there are exceptions, but I bet they are the exception. I hope that was what you were looking for. Just my opinion, it is only worth what you paid for it

[Zena]

A big THANK YOU! That is EXACTLY WHAT I WAS LOOKING FOR, BULE84! I may pm you.
I tried to respond here with a paragraph or 2, but as i hit send, i believe it erased it all! Dang it!!!
:/

[jammanoman]

" I know of one that has "Kinky" in her name, but I have never seen anything kinky in her reviews."

One of my biggest frustrations is how loosely defined kinky is in the hobby world.

[DallasRain]

The Fetishist is into kink and such

[houston_switch]

I have to disagree...
I have had many Kinky sessions over the years with ProDoms and dominate sensual (fs) providers. After the "torment" I have had some of the BCD encounters ever.
Yes you have to get to know your provider and usually a dinner date or two is all that is needed to build trust. Communicating about safe words also helps.

[bule84]

Originally Posted by jammanoman

One of my biggest frustrations is how loosely defined kinky is in the hobby world.

It is frustrating in the hobby world But in the real world I love the lack of boundaries around words, make them fit you and your partner. I really don't like labels, but they are useful in conversations to express a thought. Kinky is a different word to everyone, that is the beauty of it.

Originally Posted by DallasRain

The Fetishist is into kink and such

I agree, but I also think it is used loosely. I think a large majority of providers that put fetishes in their bio, do it think it make them sound "wild", when they are not into them at all. But Dallas, from reading your posts, I know you are one of the exceptions, you are one of the truly open minded ones that loves to explore!!

[bule84]

Originally Posted by houston_switch

I have to disagree...
I have had many Kinky sessions over the years with ProDoms and dominate sensual (fs) providers. After the "torment" I have had some of the BCD encounters ever.
Yes you have to get to know your provider and usually a dinner date or two is all that is needed to build trust. Communicating about safe words also helps.

I have also done that, to experience what goes on in the mind of the submissive. I did 2 sessions with a Domme (FS). I truly enjoyed them both and glad I did it. But they were also disappointing in one aspect. We talked and she had a good idea of my limits and what I wanted to explore, but she was also hesitant to push me, a couple times asking if something was OK. As a submissive I wanted to give up control and be used, but because of her hesitancy, I felt that I still had too much control. That is why the relationship and getting into someone's mind is as important as the kink (to me)

ProDommes and FS Dommes definately have a niche and are exactly what some people desire and need. But personally, I don't think you can develop that mental connection with a provider, unless you see her a lot and you talk a lot in beteween, which are both unusual in the hobby world

[Zena]

Great comments ! Thank you all!
These are very good things to think about! There have been several times where I wanted to hire a Fem Dom or ProDomme or Dominatrix, for an hour to have her teach me - quite a few things so I can incorporate more into my sessions! I want to offer more, MORE ! Always trying to improve. ( I'm more of a sub in R.W., so I have that covered,) . I hope I said all that correctly. Its much much safer for a Provider to offer Domme or Dominatrix sessions, than it is to offer Sub sessions, & honestly, I wish it was the opposite. ...sigh... ( but its fun to offer BOTH! )

[DustyHands]

The hobby is definitely more conducive to F/M vs. M/F when it comes to any form or flavor of bdsm or kink. As others have alluded to there's a trust factor involved that's hard to attain in p4p world without building up that trust over several visits. Even then, there are practical considerations- even a moderate spanking can leave marks on a bottom that are not desired for the next client. It's a shame.