Does the Provider have a responsibility to maintain the Relationship Boundaries? Do Both? Is it wrong for a Provider to keep seeing a Client that is getting emotionally involved?

[Whispers]

Does the Provider have a responsibility to maintain the Relationship Boundaries? I think so. They are the professional in the relationship after all.

Do Both? Is it wrong for a Provider to keep seeing a Client that is getting emotionally involved?

I think it is, in all honesty, because I believe at that point she begins to take advantage of the hold/control she has over the client....

What advice would you be giving to a guy that has knowingly "fallen" a bit too far into the "experience"

What would you say to a lady that knowingly continued to see a guy that she had no reciprocating feelings for?

Is he just a dumb sap that deserves what gets?

Loneliness drives a percentage of the guys in the hobby..... For some it's just about sex.... but for others.... it's a variety of reasons.....

[ForumPoster]

I think it is much broader question.

Does a bartender have professional responsibility to refuse further service to someone who comes to bare every day and keeps spending on alcohol far more than he/she can afford?

Does sales person have responsibility to stop selling to shopaholic?

Does restaurant owner has responsibility to serve low calorie food to obese people?

At what point does PERSONAL responsibility for one's actions ends and professional's responsibility for his/her client begins?

Lina

[Whispers]

Originally Posted by Sensual Lina

I think it is much broader question.

It COULD certainly be a much broader question.... But since this is a Client/Escort oriented site lets limit the conversation to the emotional feelings developed by a client for an escort simply doing her job that are not returned......

I think a vast majority of the ladies in this business have experienced it at some point if they have been around a while......

I think the most refined skill a Provider can be proud of is her ability to "detach" at the end of the session and bring the client back to the reality......

For me... It is why I never pay up front...... When I am digging the Benjamins out of my wallet after the acts I'm firmly reminded of why she is there......

[Budman]

I don't think they have any more responsibility than the client. In many cases you're dealing with a young lady that does not have the life experiences that the hobbyist has. She is in it for the money and may need his contribution to make ends meet. I would agree with you if she is leading him on with how their relationship is more than business. When she is throwing out "I love you" and "we can be together as soon as"... then yes she is playing him as a mark.

I also think you're putting way to much emphasis on "professional".

[ztonk]

Both parties involved need to be aware of when things are getting too personal/close and take the necessary steps to add back in the separation.

Originally Posted by Budman

In many cases you're dealing with a young lady that does not have the life experiences that the hobbyist has.

That's a cop-out... she's had boyfriends/girlfriends before, she knows when a relationship (either "real" or "hobby") is getting too serious.

z

[Majichands]

wow what a deep post.. This actually happened to me..
I would not see him have other girls see him and he would see them and talk about me hell one girl got her whole house furnished just spending time with him I wouldn't.
After some sit downs he is now back with his wife and him and I are the best of friends and we never never ever slept together. Maybe that is what it was the forbidden fruit. LOL But even now If A guy sees me more than a couple times and the conversation starts in questionable ways or especially if he is married.
I do think people that know you and the provider needs to help you gain focus if you are addicted to a lady.

[Budman]

Originally Posted by ztonk

Both parties involved need to be aware of when things are getting too personal/close and take the necessary steps to add back in the separation.



That's a cop-out... she's had boyfriends/girlfriends before, she knows when a relationship (either "real" or "hobby") is getting too serious.

z

Z, you're most likely right but I would bet that the hobbyist has had his share of relationships as well. I certainly would not lay the majority of the responsibility of keeping it business on the provider. Hobbyist need to keep their emotions in check and realize it's all about the pussy. Claiming that the provider is a "professional" and therefore more in control is a cop out.

[Whispers]

Originally Posted by Budman

Z, you're most likely right but I would bet that the hobbyist has had his share of relationships as well. I certainly would not lay the majority of the responsibility of keeping it business on the provider. Hobbyist need to keep their emotions in check and realize it's all about the pussy. Claiming that the provider is a "professional" and therefore more in control is a cop out.

perhaps not you......

certainly not me........

But there are those men that are sociably inept that do not have normal relationships for a variety of reasons. If not for strippers and hookers some of these guys would never have women in their lives.

Dysfunction is present on both sides of the relationships.......

[saj1000]

Interesting topic. I guess it would depend what country one is in. Unfortunately, this is the USA where a whore is a whore is a whore. It is not an honourable profession as it is in some countries where a girl will provide as a way to help out her family while she seeks a permanent liason as a full time concubine, or even a man to marry. But, if some guy gets sucked in thinking it is not a monetary exchange, it's up to him to realize that it is his problem. I guess if things gets weird for the provider, then she needs to stop seeing him. We have all read the girls talking about stalkers, etc. If the hobbyist is not intelligent enough to realize that he is barking up the wrong tree, then it can't be put on the provider as it being her "problem".

I'm sure it works the other way too. You got some guy that has a ton of money and a provider sees the guy 3-4 times and starts thinking in her head that the guy is in love with her and that she can spend the rest of her days with him. That he will lift her above her misery and be with her forever and take care of her.

We are only human and we thrive on relationships, no matter what our stations in life; rich, poor, executive, professional, prostitute.

[Whispers]

Originally Posted by saj1000

Interesting topic. I guess it would depend what country one is in. Unfortunately, this is the USA where a whore is a whore is a whore. It is not an honourable profession as it is in some countries where a girl will provide as a way to help out her family while she seeks a permanent liason as a full time concubine, or even a man to marry. But, if some guy gets sucked in thinking it is not a monetary exchange, it's up to him to realize that it is his problem. I guess if things gets weird for the provider, then she needs to stop seeing him. We have all read the girls talking about stalkers, etc. If the hobbyist is not intelligent enough to realize that he is barking up the wrong tree, then it can't be put on the provider as it being her "problem".

I'm sure it works the other way too. You got some guy that has a ton of money and a provider sees the guy 3-4 times and starts thinking in her head that the guy is in love with her and that she can spend the rest of her days with him. That he will lift her above her misery and be with her forever and take care of her.

We are only human and we thrive on relationships, no matter what our stations in life; rich, poor, executive, professional, prostitute.

An interesting look at the subject....... "a whore is a whore is a whore"

..........and although I can agree with that in theory...... within these "communities" do not the "whores" often profess to be more than that and is it not a regularly sung song by many men that they deserve to be thought of as caring, giving ladies and not as "whores"?

So if the community is going to elevate a "whore" to being a kind and thoughtful provider with feelings should they not be held to some higher standard?

[Naomi4u]

Um... wow *exits thread*

[saj1000]

I agree. I was referring to the bible thumping general consensus of Americans that prostitution is a bad thing and should not be tolerated under any circumstances. I think the USA is one of the only countries left in the world where prostitution on a limited scale is a crime. Pimping is a crime in most decent societies, as it should be, but providing on an individual basis is not.

I have the utmost respect for women. It was an analogy...maybe not the best for an SHMB site. Did I get that right, or was it SHBM?

[budman33]

Originally Posted by Whispers

An interesting look at the subject....... "a whore is a whore is a whore"

..........and although I can agree with that in theory...... within these "communities" do not the "whores" often profess to be more than that and is it not a regularly sung song by many men that they deserve to be thought of as caring, giving ladies and not as "whores"?

So if the community is going to elevate a "whore" to being a kind and thoughtful provider with feelings should they not be held to some higher standard?

Your kidding right? a human being is a human being. Hobbiests come from one side, escorts the other. Inevitably feelings can happen...I've dated companions that I have both seen or not seen but know what they do. Makes them no less a genuine person than me, who does the same thing from the other side of it.

no such thing as a whore is a whore any more than a douchebag is a douchebag ... well

[Toyz]

Interesting topic...

Conversly, what is the difference in a vanilla relationship where the girl is using the guy for his cash/contacts/prestige? I say none.

Its "buyer beware" in my opinion. The girl is providing EXACTLY what the guy wants & needs. A fantasy & a sometimes friend with benefits...albeit pricey benefits...

It is not up to her to discern where the reality & the fantasy ends, unless she chooses that route. IMHO, she bares no professional ethics to end the tryst.

Is she continuing to take donations for time spent? Then its still a business, and he needs to understand that. Can she be personal & pleasant while providing? Of course she can. Can they develop into friends or more? I guess thats possible too.

But I don't see that she is RESPONSIBLE for pointing out that he has gone over the edge. I think that is a CHOICE she can make or not based on her private thoughts on the matter.

Here is a question for the ladies...How many of you have ever fallen for a client & given up the avocation based on intense love?

I'll hang up and listen...guys, you should do the same...

[shaft.drive]

a wise man once said
"In this ambitious world, friendship cannot bloom, love is almost impossible, compassion cannot exist. We have created such an ugly mess, and the root is that we think that there is something to achieve."

where there is a connection between the provider & the hobbyist, there can be true friendship....as long as each is not using the other for some means