Do you come here? If not, where do you go?

[charlestudor2005]

Lately, we've had some painful threads on this board. Painful in the sense that the OPs have been baring their feelings and their souls as set out below.

The question is: Is this an appropriate place to post our personal angst?

Given the nature of the lives we lead, I think it is. Few others could understand the situations or provide the comfort. But I'd like to see everyone chip in with an opinion (as if telling you not to would keep you from voicing your opinion ).

Originally Posted by Sweet N Little

So when u end a relationship , how do u deal with the pain?

Originally Posted by Wakeuр

Wow...
I have no idea what this is about, and I don't want to know...*
Just wow...
*This line was hidden in the post

Originally Posted by Valerie

What Wakeup is really trying to say SNL, is that he is sorry for what you're going through and wishes you the best

Originally Posted by Wakeuр

Actually I don't mean that at all...why should I feel sorry for her?

Originally Posted by ninasastri

If you lack that sort of empathy, then why do you post in her thread? Are you a sadist?

Originally Posted by Wakeuр

I think you're making quite an irrational leap there, but then again, not one that was unexpected, considering how my post was worded...

You're first question, I posted in the thread to express my incredulity at looking for emotional support from a bunch of, at best, barely known acquaintenances, on a hooker board. You accuse me of lacking empathy, Nothing is farther from the truth. Empathy is being able to recognize emotions exhibited by someone else, and to relate to those emotions to some degree. I recognize her emotions, that's why I wondered what she was hoping to gain from expressing them here, and I relate to them, I just relate in such a small degree as to make that relationship almost negligable. I certainly don't relate enough to make a post telling her I'm sorry when I'm really not.

The irrational leap is assuming that I'm a sadist because of my post. No, I'm not, I just don't have any feelings one way or another about what she's going through, whereas you assumed that my feelings for her must be bad simply because they weren't good.

My OP was merely expressing again, my incredulity at exposing personal problems on a hooker message board while at the same time taking the completely anonymous and possibly insincere "I'm sorry for your pain" comments as a real form of solace...

I think you're reading too much into it Nina...

And this thread: http://eccie.net/showthread.php?t=183733

[Eccie Addict]

I think everyone deals with things differently. Only the OP knows whether or not they gain comfort posting on a board of any kind. If they do then I say they should. If they don't then I think they should spend that time on something they do find comfort in. You can't please everyone so who cares if others like what you post or not. Be who you are and move on.

Now if you post something to gain sympathy so others will do whatever you ask then that is a different story. It's just manipulation and it's a childish game....

[ashwednesday666]

The question was....So when u end a relationship , how do u deal with the pain?
I answered it pertaining to me, not knowing what she was going through. Some people have to vent, get their feelings out, and if that helps well everybody is different. For me No my personal angst changes all the time.

[Naomi4u]

I think a lot of people come to this site insulting and attacking others because of their own personal problems instead of seeking therapy. I am no angel but the last thing I want to do is make someone's day worse than it already is. Some people get off on knowing that they can cause pain to someone else. It is very easy to hide behind a keyboard and post attacks on people.

[Chisum1965]

I see nothing wrong with posting your troubles on this type of board. I thought thats what these boards were for, to help people out. In my case I have a few friends that enjoy the hobby too and we share our problems with eachother, if we have any.

[London Rayne]

I tend not to feel comfortable posting my personal issues unless it's for mere commentary. Things that truly hurt me will only be shared with those I trust, not with the entire board. I feel many people don't give a crap anyway, so why bother lol. I look above for my answers, not to people.

I agree that negative comments are not always necessary, but when you post your business here those people have a right to post what they want as well....even if it's not in line with the majority.

[searchme]

If it helps them by posting it's okay. If you're asking a question then you might not get the answer your looking for. If they are always posting from one extreme to another it gets OLD.May be they are looking for meaningful and a place to "matter" ~ yet not finding it.

[Eccie Addict]

London- I understand looking above for answers, I do as well but remember, He speaks to us through others as well. Even through some we may not like... lol

[London Rayne]

Originally Posted by Eccie Addict

London- I understand looking above for answers, I do as well but remember, He speaks to us through others as well. Even through some we may not like... lol

You said a mouth full.

[MaxiMilyen]

Some have found an outlet here and find comfort from those whom they share ideas and thoughts with on a board of this nature, especially if no one is around to comfort them. Individuals who have little or no empathy/sympathy for others might and often do like to kick others when they are already down and have shown vulnerabilities. Much akin to being a bully, IMO. Do they have a right to post? Sure. Do they show their true colors when they do so. Absolutely.

[Chica Chaser]

Originally Posted by M A X

Some have found an outlet here and find comfort from whose they share ideas and thoughts with on a board of this nature, especially if no one is around to comfort them. Individuals who have little or no empathy/sympathy for others might and often do like to kick others when they are already down and have shown vulnerabilities. Much akin to being a bully, IMO. Do they have a right to post? Sure. Do they show their true colors when they do so. Absolutely.

Exactly MAX. All points right on the money, no need for me to say anything else!

[Chellablaine]

So what I am wondering is....

Charles, you posted something that was hidden, so isnt that against the rules?

If Wakeup wanted that seen he would have posted it in the open. He was at least trying to be nice about how he felt about her post, and refrained from doing that in the open, until now when you called him out on it. And Im pretty sure posting bcd comments or whatever that is, hidden etc, is against the rules.

I dont think it hurts anything if she posts it, or any of us for that matter. We just need to realize as London stated that its open for discussion once its public and some opinions may hurt a few feelings.

Some people who care enough to post about others posts must have way too much time on their hands lol

[Naomi4u]

Ok I am totally .... confused. How the hell was his post hidden? Someone fill me in on this one? If it was hidden how was Charles able to see it. I know Charles has more sense than to post something from the men's area. Is there a function here that I do not know about? Yes I haven't had my Starbucks this morning.

[Eccie Addict]

I don't recall his post being hidden. Wakeup is not one to hide many of his comments.

[Naomi4u]

Exactly right EA. Wakeup's post is http://www.eccie.net/showthread.php?t=184383&page=4 #48. He did not hide anything. I'm a bit confused now.