lessons learned from porn

[missi hart]

10 things we learned from porn
------------------------------------
1. Women wear high heels to bed.

2. When going down on a woman 10 seconds is more than satisfactory.

3. If a woman gets busted masturbating by a strange man, she will not scream with embarrassment, but rather insist he have sex with her.

4. Women enjoy having sex with ugly, middle-aged men.

5. People in the 70's couldn't fuck unless there was a wild guitar solo in the background.

6. A common and enjoyable sexual practice for a man is to take his half-erect penis and slap it repeatedly on a woman's butt.

7. Asian men don't exist.

8. When your girlfriend busts you getting head from her best friend, she'll only be momentarily pissed off before fucking the both of you.

9. When a woman is sucking a man's dick, it's important for him to remind her to "suck it".

10. Women always look pleasantly surprised when they open a man's trousers and find a dick there.

[thundarr28]

11. Most pizza delivery services accept sex as payment.

12. Bitchy, female bosses will be nice, and have sex with you if they catch you staring at their chests.

13. Don't ever leave your Mom and best friend alone together.

14. If your sexy teacher asks you to stay after class to help her with something....do it!

15. If an older woman catches you masturbating she will have sex with you.

16. All island natives are hot.

[Sternomancer]

17. You can randomly approach women in public, put a camera in their face, and they will agree to go home with you in under 5 minutes.

[nuglet]

Every great looking woman in the movies, or on TV, would have fallen in love with me if we had only had a chance to meet.

[Willen]

18. The guy has not been born who can't sustain at least 10 minutes of frantic activity.

[zont]

Despite the rapt attention of two or more of the hottest women the producers could find, the dude STILL has to get himself off....

[TopWhop]

Now that is fregging funny Missy !!!!! I cannot add to it,,I am still laughing!!

[Sexy Roxanne]

Good one Missy!!!!

[rekcaSxT]

20. All Asian women are sluts and will fuck a man on command.

[knotty man]

21. "bow chicka wow wow" is an actual word

[rekcaSxT]

22. Women actually find men's ejaculate tasty.

[GRIN OF SIN]

23. Midgets can also take 10"
24. When sleeping with someone you just met, it's OK to pull their hair, smack their ass, hook their mouth with your finger, smack them on the head with your member and go through the back door when ever you feel like it.
25. Your wife will let you hire a 20 something babysitter who hates wearing bras... or clothes for that matter.
26. As long as you remember to whisper, women can sleep through just about anything.
27. There is a police department, somewhere in the US, with the greatest female uniforms ever created and the best penalty for speeding.

[coyote1]

lmfao!

[Risn2TheOccasion]

Location, Location, Location!!!! Why don’t we do it in the hall? Or the pool? In a van traveling down I-35? The City Bus? While skiing on Lake Travis? Or our military bunker? Well, you get the idea.

[gman44]

cutting a hole in a pizza and shoving your dick through may or may not make your cum taste like tomato sauce