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!VI! · 01-24-2016, 08:44 PM

So big thing, I got outted by a hobbiest ... To my parents ...

And they told everyone in my home town and my CO some people accepted it, most didn't ...

So yes guys receive ads are me... My real birth name is Valerie and it's the name I will be going by... It's still me just I have no point in hiding anymore...

I'm not sure how to recover from being outted besides to stop hiding ... Can I ask for advice

TinMan · 01-24-2016, 08:54 PM

First off, I'm sorry you were outted. That guy is the lowest form of human. There can be no justification for what he did.

Second, I would still use your handle vs your real name. Get the ads with the face pics removed. Keeping that stuff out there, to be released all over the Internet again and again, will do you no good. If you ever want to get this life behind you, leaving as few markers as possible will improve your chances. Sure, someone really digging for dirt may find it, but why make it easy?

Best of luck. I hate that this happened to you.

RedRanger · 01-24-2016, 08:56 PM

Wow what a dickhole im sorry that happened to you

Guest070818-1 · 01-24-2016, 08:57 PM

Did the hobbyist tell your parents that he was paying their daughter for bareback?

My mom and dad would've handed his ass back to him. Mine too.

CarMan1964 · 01-24-2016, 09:04 PM

He is a big dickhead. I have some girls that will have YMMV with me, but I honor their privacy knowing that everything is not for everybody... Her backpage ad has new pricing information now.

Jules Jaguar · 01-24-2016, 09:04 PM

I'm sorry that happened to you.

socraticdfw · 01-24-2016, 09:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TinMan

First off, I'm sorry you were outted. That guy is the lowest form of human. There can be no justification for what he did.

Second, I would still use your handle vs your real name. Get the ads with the face pics removed. Keeping that stuff out there, to be released all over the Internet again and again, will do you no good. If you ever want to get this life behind you, leaving as few markers as possible will improve your chances. Sure, someone really digging for dirt may find it, but why make it easy?

Best of luck. I hate that this happened to you.

Sorry that happened V -

Tinman has a good point though, remove the ads with real names and faces, and keep a pseudonym for .. "legal" purposes, as well as just to keep things from going too far with another bad john.

daty/o · 01-24-2016, 09:11 PM

We have never met, but I am sorry this happened to you. There is no excuse for it. Tinman's advice is solid. And you are apparently very independent minded; you will weather it.

Chung Tran · 01-24-2016, 09:14 PM

sorry, too, that you were outted.. and I agree with TinMan's advice. can I ask.. did the outing occur simultaneously with that BP ad somebody ran in another town?

DarkeyKong · 01-24-2016, 09:17 PM

That absolutely sucks! Although it happened, there maybe some damage control you can do. Unfortunately, I am not intelligent enough to know the route to take. I'm sure you can probably benefit from some of the ladies' knowledge base here. Might I suggest a ladies lounge post in order to try to avoid alerting your outter to your gameplan?

billw1032 · 01-24-2016, 09:30 PM

And you might want to edit your original post while you still can to take your name out of it. Give yourself some time to think about it before putting it out there. You can always put it out later if you decide to.

Sorry to hear this happened. There is no excuse for it.

Golden Man · 01-24-2016, 09:38 PM

Sorry this happened to you and if you know who the asshole is who did this you should post an alert on him or kick his Ass if possible. I also agree with TinMan, under no circumstances should you post under your real name. You should also consider changing your posted phone number and not posting pictures for awhile to allow a little time for the dust to settle back home. If handled properly you can minimize the long term negative effects of this.

izzy32 · 01-24-2016, 09:39 PM

I'm sorry that this happen to you. The guy that did this to you is a complete scumbag and I hope it comes back on him later, but TinMan is right! You should keep your handle name and remove those ads. I sure with time that you will recover from this. Your starting that process now by discussing this here on the forum. Try to keep your head up, this will only make you stronger as a person.

Kendall4U · 01-24-2016, 09:42 PM

Oh wow. I'm so sorry that happened to you. I agree with Tinman. Keep Vi and remove face pics. Also, you can post his handle if he's an Eccie member. At least do it in the ladies area so the rest of us can avoid this asshat at all costs. I'm super pissed for you.

Sir Lancehernot · 01-24-2016, 09:49 PM

Disappear for a while, whether that means going UTR or taking a hiatus. If the former, take appointments only from people you trust and use what you have saved, if you have any savings to help you get by. If the latter, when you come back, maintain as low a profile as you can, using a new identity and perhaps altering your hair color and style. Post ads if you must, but don't engage in discussions in Coed. It is possible to get by (and more) without having much, if any, of a public presence. As a final option: Move to another city and start over. Nothing can repair the damage done to your existing relationships, but the ones you haven't developed yet need never know.