Tipping Etiquette? Real gifts?

[bizzly1001]

So I have a provider I want to make her know that I not only enjoy our time together but I wanted to give her something extra. Yet, I'm afraid I'm going to look like a cheapskate and offend her. I have no frame of reference. I don't want to be like the old people giving out a quarter and saying, now don't go spend that all in one place... I've actually never tipped any provider because I really didn't know what the unspoken rule was. What's the right etiquette for tipping a provider I really liked but not going overboard. It's so easy to just want to give them the world after they do their thing but where's the line?

Is 20% low? Would it be weird to give her a diamond necklace worth a couple hundred? Would she be weirded out that I might be catching the feels for her?

Please help me out here what's the right way to tip a provider without going overboard but not looking like a miser?

[Old-T]

I am certain you are going to get a wide range of opinions on this one.

As with almost any question worth asking, the answer is simple: “It depends”.
--How well do you know her?
--How long have you been seeing her?
--Do you do things outside the room (dinner, a show, etc.)?
--Does the clock seem to get lost on your dates?
--Do the two of you talk between dates?

The more of these you answer “yes” to, the longer you have been seeing her, the better you know each other—then the more I would lean towards a gift rather than a monetary tip. I have done both, but I typically only do cash with a lady I have only seen once or twice and who was above expectations in some way. For my regular dates—and typically they include dinner, often off the clock for that part—it is definitely a gift. Tailored to what I know of her (often her websites and posts are good indicators, either overtly or unintentionally). And I always give a gift up front, because that way it clearly says “I appreciate you”, while a tip at the end is more “I appreciate what you did”. Subtle difference, but real.

IF you decide on money, 10-20% I would consider in the ball park. Again, in part based upon length of the date and HOW much you appreciate her. If the time is very short I would say a minimum of $20. Most the time I have spent +/-$600-$1000 for multiple hours so IF I am going to tip, I do $50-$100. But most the time it is a present. A small present that clearly says it was picked out individually for her usually gets a much bigger thank you note than extra money. Though obviously all ladies are different.

Hope this helps. It is one guy’s biased view of things.

PS: How will she take it? Go back to the beginning. "It depends" on all those factors above. I have given jewelry in an equivalent amount to what I would tip, and all the recipients seemed to appreciate them. I have given much bigger gifts to a few I am close to, with no adverse effects that I can tell. One does now think I am clingy, but she knew that when I asked her to marry me a number of years ago. (she said no). We are still great friends.

[DallasRain]

check her showcase and pick something on her list...always appreciated!

And if ya wanna do cash...just give her a gift card worth 50 bucks!

[bizzly1001]

Thank you for answering my question. I really appreciate it.

[plainjoe]

Great inputs from two legends of the board. Neither will steer you wrong.
I prefer gifts to tips - it's more personal.
For my ATF, I personalize the gifts for her. I pick up a little something from places that I visit so when we meet, I usually have a few items for her. We also spend extended time together so I pick up a bottle of good scotch to enjoy together.
It's all dependent upon what your lady enjoys. As Old-T states, the more you know about her, the more you will be able to personalize gifts.
Good luck.

[Lena Duvall]

Asking never hurts. But if you're trying to surprise her, check out her website or showcase to see what she likes.

Also cash is always classy.

[ICU 812]

This is my MO Re. tipping /Gifts

I go to a session prepared. I have read her website and reviews. I understand her "etiquette" and what she is comfortable with on the business end of the Hobbyist/Provider transaction. The donation is precounted and presented in the manner she specifies (cash on the table, (in an envelop in the bathroom, just whatever).

Tips: I come prepared to tip her up to 20%. Frequently I preent the tip in advance, to set the tone of the session.

Gifts: The provider has already been paid for her time. Any gift must be a gesture of appreciation, not an additional valuable bonus. If I am going to buy jewelry or expensive perfume, it will go to my SO (her bonus). One provider expressed an interest in Black & White photography on her website. I offered her a choice of several prints I had made. . .and she picked one.

Ripping: I am

[offshoredrilling]

So this providers car was in the shop and she needed to go grocery shopping. I volunteered to take her shopping. She looked at a 25 buck blanket. But said maybe next time if still here. I was the only one left like it in the store. After I dropped her off home. I went back and bought it. Best gift I ever gave a provider.

[DallasRain]

Originally Posted by offshoredrilling

So this providers car was in the shop and she needed to go grocery shopping. I volunteered to take her shopping. She looked at a 25 buck blanket. But said maybe next time if still here. I was the only one left like it in the store. After I dropped her off home. I went back and bought it. Best gift I ever gave a provider.

you are a class act!

[Boudin3112]

Tipping, maybe so, I only tip when the service is great! I am a good tipper for pizza delivery, wait staff, taxi cabs, luggage handlers, etc. I have no personal feelings for these people hence what they think of my tip is nonsense, I don't care. I tip because I want to show my appreciation for a job well done. I don't tip my doctor, my dentist, my lawyer, my contractor, nor do I get tipped and I handle people's retirement and cash. What's the difference? Baggage handlers make low wages, waitresses make less than minimum wages, cab drivers make low wages. Doctors, lawyers, dentists, contractors, financial brokers made money. I don't tip people making good money as seems to be the proper thing to do. These ladies make money much like a doctor, lawyer, dentist. I say this but I have tipped, just don't do it as normal standing policy like I do for waitresses. Buying a gift for a lady, well that means you do have feelings however small you may claim they are; they are there. Wrong place to look for friends IMHO. Business and pleasure do not mix.

[offshoredrilling]

Originally Posted by DallasRain

you are a class act!

it was around Xmas, then next year I got a bottle of perfume.
Ya she had a newer car so I hand no idea what to give her last year.
LOL over 100 reviews and that was the first time I READ her showcase LOL
I must have been the first to READ her showcase as she asked how did I know.
dang another Xmas coming, mmmm is it wrong too hope she has car problems?

Why buy diamonds when showing up with her favorite candy bar buys more brownie points LOL
btw: brownie points with providers are like with any women. CASH THEM IN QUICK

[DallasRain]

lol yep===I get tickled when a guy brings me a "special" gift that I have listed on my showcase!

[plainjoe]

All part of doing research on the lady - what she likes, doesn't like, how to present her gift to her, etc.
If meeting a lady for the first time, following her procedures will put her at ease, relax, and we both have a great time. For ladies that I have met previously, her website gives insights on what she likes; however, as you get to her her better, you will get to know what she really likes that may not be on the list.
Enjoy the trip.

[MOCHAakaMOCHA]

I am probably just super easy to please.....I've been given 10 in cash plus a $5 gift card to Safeway (grocery store chain) to a $300 1hr date and was pleased as a peach. I've also gotten as much as a $400 on top of a $900 date (almost 45% tip). If she seems off put by an expensive gift it's probably just because she's never gotten anything that nice or pricey. We're women first so a $2 Hallmark card with 20 bucks in it or even a 2k diamond bracelet should be well received and appreciated. I don't think she'll take you for a weirdo or cheapo. But again....i'm fairly easy to please when it comes to gifts (thought that counts and all that).

[Wakeup]

Tip? What's that?