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The Sandbox - Austin The Sandbox is a collection of off-topic discussions. Humorous threads, Sports talk, and a wide variety of other topics can be found here. If it's NOT an adult-themed topic, then it belongs here

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Old 01-30-2010, 12:21 AM   #1
Monk Rasputin
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Default The "new aspd"

Well, they apparently sold the name, because here it is at work. It's the perfect match: wear a short skirt, blow on the hard thing in your mouth, squeeze on the soft thing, lots of finger work -- just like always. Have a look. The new aspd

I contacted one of the "new aspd" members. This was his idea of a "review."

"As a bagpiper, I play many gigs. Recently, I was asked by a funeral director to play at a graveside service for a homeless man. He had no family or friends, so the service was to be at a pauper's cemetery in the Kentucky back-country.

"As I was not familiar with the backwoods, I got lost; and being a typical man, I didn't stop for directions. I finally arrived an hour late and saw the funeral guy had evidently gone and the hearse was nowhere in sight.

"There were only the diggers and crew left and they were eating lunch. I felt badly and apologized to the men for being late. I went to the side of the grave and looked down and the vault lid was already in place. I didn't know what else to do, so I started to play.

"The workers put down their lunches and began to gather around. I played out my heart and soul for this man with no family and friends. I played like I've never played before for this homeless man.

"And as I played 'Amazing Grace,' the workers began to weep. They wept, I wept, we all wept together. When I finished, I packed up my bagpipes and started for my car. Though my head hung low, my heart was full.

"As I was opening the door to my car, I heard one of the workers say, 'I never seen nothin' like that before, and I've been putting in septic tanks for over twenty years.' "

Monk
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Old 01-30-2010, 01:34 AM   #2
Deuce Bigalow
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Default

Typical.
Sounded like an ad disguised as a review.
Bad directions to the incall, an hour late, and it was still a "better than ever" experience.
Yeah, right.

Any pics or contact info?
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Old 01-30-2010, 08:02 AM   #3
EllaInAustin
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Alert, Alert!

That review is a complete misrepresentation and I have contacted the mods to have it removed!

Can't a girl enjoy some haggis unmolested?
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Old 01-30-2010, 10:08 AM   #4
Monk Rasputin
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Quote:
Originally Posted by EllaInAustin View Post
Can't a girl enjoy some haggis unmolested?
Aye, would you join me for a traditional Scottish breakfast, Adorable Ella? Haggis, bangers and mash, black pudding, fried tomatoes...



Afterwards, you could hold my shillelagh while I paint my face blue...

What d'ye say, lassie with the sweet assie?

McMonk
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Old 01-30-2010, 01:19 PM   #5
EllaInAustin
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Aye!

Isn't that, like, Scottish for heck yeah?
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Old 01-30-2010, 02:09 PM   #6
SASpurfan
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Can I join you both for dinner?

SAS
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Old 01-30-2010, 02:12 PM   #7
EllaInAustin
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Aye Aye! Any time...although I am assuming you mean that euphemistically!
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Old 01-30-2010, 03:38 PM   #8
Monk Rasputin
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SASpurfan View Post
Can I join you both for dinner?
Aye, laddie, aye! Paint yourr bollocks blue, and ye can be the King of the Glaswegians at ourr parrty.

Monk
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Old 01-31-2010, 05:11 PM   #9
squiretuck
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Done the haggis and bangers breakfast. Next time it will be sans haggis.
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Old 01-31-2010, 07:34 PM   #10
GneissGuy
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That site is a bunch of blowhards, ugly old bags with whiny voices, and guys who wear skirts.
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Old 02-01-2010, 09:44 PM   #11
gman45
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Woot thats hot!!!!
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