Mr.Panda

[BabyDallass]

“A panda walks into a bar. He asks the bartender how he can get a little action for the night. The bartender motions to a young woman. She talks to the panda, and they go back to her place. After having sex, the panda abruptly leaves. The next night, the woman goes to the panda's house. "You owe me money," she says. "For what?" The woman rolls her eyes and explains, "I'm a prostitute." The panda pulls out a dictionary and looks it up: "Prostitute: Has sex for money." The panda says, "I don't have to pay you. I'm a panda. Look it up." She is about to protest when the panda hands her the dictionary. The woman looks up "panda" in the dictionary, and it reads, "Panda: Eats bush and leaves.”

Lol.

[cboat]

Originally Posted by BabyDallass

“A panda walks into a bar. He asks the bartender how he can get a little action for the night. The bartender motions to a young woman. She talks to the panda, and they go back to her place. After having sex, the panda abruptly leaves. The next night, the woman goes to the panda's house. "You owe me money," she says. "For what?" The woman rolls her eyes and explains, "I'm a prostitute." The panda pulls out a dictionary and looks it up: "Prostitute: Has sex for money." The panda says, "I don't have to pay you. I'm a panda. Look it up." She is about to protest when the panda hands her the dictionary. The woman looks up "panda" in the dictionary, and it reads, "Panda: Eats bush and leaves.”

Lol.

Keep 'em cuming. A good laugh helps brighten the day.

[BabyDallass]

I love a good laugh too!!

My wife asked me how I could love her and still enjoy watching porn.

I told her, I love my car but I still watch Formula 1 too.

She was happy with this analogy - I just never mentioned I also go to Hertz for the occasional rental.

[Blissed]

Lol.
You gotta love rentals!

[Fr8nk&Bnz]

Here is a joke my grandpa told me years back and I have never forgot it

So he is talking to his neighbor one day gripping about needing a rooster. He has all of these chickens but none are laying eggs.

Tell him go down and talked to Jim. He has all kinds of roosters.

So he proceeds "Jim I hear you have all these roosters what's it going to take to get one from you".

Jim: "You bring me a dozen eggs, you can have ol' red here, he'll get the job done".

Guy takes ol' red home and let's him loose. As the day goes on! Red is out there giving it his all. Tucked all the hens to bed, went out and started on the dog, cat, worked on his calf and was out there chasing guy's cattle around.

Guy walks out there and says red if you don't settle down, your going to die of damn heat stroke. You've got to settle down for me, everything out here is nervous of you. Take it easy!!

Next day guy looks outside and couldn't believe his eyes. Ol' red out there laid up on his back, feet sticking straight up in the middle of the pasture. Guy thinks to himself, I told that son of a bitch he was going to have to settle down.

Grabs a shovel walks out there as he is standing beside red, he says I told you yesterday this was going to happen. Ol' red looks up at him and whispers

"Shhhhhhhh...... Look theres buzzards.

Hahaha

[DallasRain]

lol GOOD ONES!!!



Handjob Three guys go to a ski lodge, and there aren't enough rooms, so they have to share a bed. In the middle of the night, the guy on the right wakes up and says, "I had this wild, vivid dream of getting a hand job!" The guy on the left wakes up, and unbelievably, he's had the same dream, too. Then the guy in the middle wakes up and says, "That's funny, I dreamed I was skiing!"

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

An old man and an old lady are getting ready for bed one night when all of a sudden the woman bursts out of the bathroom, flings open her robe and yells "Super Pussy!" The old man says "I'll have the soup."

[alphatwo]

I guess taco soup

[TechOne]

Originally Posted by alphatwo

I guess taco soup

No, No! Tamale Pie...

[ArrDevel]

Not mine but I will share...

Sister Catherine was asking all the Catholic school children in fourth grade what they want to be when they grow up.

Little Sheila said, "When I grow up, I want to be a prostitute!"

Sister Catherine's eyes grow wide and she barked, "What did you say?!"

"A prostitute!" Sheila exclaimed.

Sister Catherine breathed a sight of relief and said "Whew! Thank God! I thought you said 'A Protestant'!"