~Monger Church~

[Toyz]

This cuming Sunday we will have the first gathering for Monger Church in Austins history!

• Monger Church will be held at a TBD location, but will not be off limits to anyone.
• Monger Church does not discriminate towards any Mongers, whether they are Batshit Crazy or otherwise.
• No cock blocking will be allowed at MC. Either intentional or otherwise

There will be a fellowship following services at Eryns...please be rested and ready. We have lost two mongers just this month who couldn't hack it-don't be a statistic. Only YOU can prevent Monger deaths. They will be remembered fondly at the beginning of service with a 21 Cawk salute..

The Monger Prayer

Monger Jesus, please watch over & protect your loyal Mongers. Show us the way into temptation, and deliver evil Hos to us. We seek not what we can do for our hoogars, but rather what our hoogars can do for us. Lead us into OPEC approved dalliances with like minded hoogars. Our rods & our staffs bring comfort to us, please anoint us with natural lubricants so we may pillage at our leisure.

Oh MJ, please cast your evil orb upon the batshit crazy hoogars & render them incapable of causing us harm. Keep our pencils fully leaded & make our premature ejaculations voluntary

Amen

[John_Dough]

Amen sayeth the Shepherd. Amen sayeth the flock.

[bc00]

Wait are you being serious or this is a joke like TS~SL review?

[fun2come]

MC is CBC endorsed... OPEC will follow shortly !!!

We'll be selling the CBC bible, REALLY cheap, plus OPEC members get an additional discount:

[Toyz]

Originally Posted by bc00

Wait are you being serious or this is a joke like TS~SL review?

You'll have to show up to find out BC...


Pssstttt....Nikki wants you to be there....

[readysetgo12]

When are invites going out?

[Whispers]

Will there be a Virgin Sacrifice?

Wait. A bunch of ugly old dudes getting together on a Sunday afternoon? Is this some ingenious plan to allow those in relationships to escape their SOs to watch football, drink beer, fart and scratch their asses?

I've been considering joining a coven... Lots of naked women in a coven I hear...

[Toyz]

Originally Posted by Whispers

Will there be a Virgin Sacrifice?

Wait. A bunch of ugly old dudes getting together on a Sunday afternoon? Is this some ingenious plan to allow those in relationships to escape their SOs to watch football, drink beer, fart and scratch their asses?

I've been considering joining a coven... Lots of naked women in a coven I hear...

Yes, SL will be bringing the virgin...autographed pictures of her will be available after mash. Due to the overwhelming number of requests, we will be having a sunrise mash and a 9AM mash.

The old and fugly mash will be the 9AM one...I've reserved a front row pew for you, Sixx & RockerRick.

No foosball will be allowed during Monger Church. However, at the fellowship with Eryn there will be tackling allowed in the backfield & holding will be allowed. We're praying for the pocket to not collapse. Expect a lot of pressure off the edge, and several deep outs to be run. We are planning for a few quick hitters & a few cover 2's as well.

Covens are a secret society long associated with Monger Church since the dark ages. We plan Church socials with them often & have the yearly "Monger & Coven Bake Sale & Blow Job Auction" on the 3rd Sunday in October...(just around the corner!)

[Whispers]

Ok.... You got me with "Bake Sale".... Sixx will probably be down for that too....

3d Sunday? hmmm.... Will we be done before Walking Dead comes on?

[fun2come]

I want to make sure:

This is NOT a SECRET CLUB just a secret gathering ???

Please don't YELL the answer at me like 10 times

[Toyz]

Originally Posted by Whispers

Ok.... You got me with "Bake Sale".... Sixx will probably be down for that too....

3d Sunday? hmmm.... Will we be done before Walking Dead comes on?

A few of our members are in the cast...so they have to be done before show time.

Here is a picture of one of our most loved baked goods from last years bake sale. This year promises to be even better. We are having Charilee Bourbon Cupcakes too.

[Toyz]

Originally Posted by fun2come

I want to make sure:

This is NOT a SECRET CLUB just a secret gathering ???

Please don't YELL the answer at me like 10 times

HOW MANY FUCKING TIMES DO I HAVE....

Oh, sorry...no its not secret or private...we embrace all denominations of Mongers. Everyone is welcomed and appreciated.

We used to pass around a collection plate, but after Bonn continued leaving his used condoms (he liked to jerk off in them in the back during the benediction), we decided for sanitary sake to just have online donations instead.

[Whispers]

Originally Posted by Toyz

A few of our members are in the cast...so they have to be done before show time.

Here is a picture of one of our most loved baked goods from last years bake sale. This year promises to be even better. We are having Charilee Bourbon Cupcakes too.

Well... I'm out if the cakes look like that......

It will probably confuse the shit out of Sixx though..... He does have a thing for "chocolate"

[Toyz]

Originally Posted by Whispers

Well... I'm out if the cakes look like that......

It will probably confuse the shit out of Sixx though..... He does have a thing for "chocolate"

We had a couple of cakes that were supposed to look like a vagina, but they looked more like a taco...they didn't sell so we ate them ourselves.

[John_Dough]

Originally Posted by Toyz

We had a couple of cakes that were supposed to look like a vagina, but they looked more like a taco..

As long as they didn't look like an old cold grilled cheese sandwich someone was trying to pull apart