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GingerB · 10-08-2010, 04:31 PM

Hi everyone....
There have been times….when I contemplate what life would be like with an SO.
There is some good….and some bad too. Not all relationships are perfect!

It never fails that when the “itch” comes around….. I suddenly convince myself….it would HAVE to be an OPEN relationship. And...no doubt, I would want to keep escorting….and prefer that my SO hobby as well!

How many of you out there….have an OPEN relationship? How does it work out for you? Most importantly….how do you find an SO….who is willing to have an open relationship?

Someone refered me to a swingers website….and said it was the best source to find this type of SO.
I browsed a couple of the sites they gave me….but got a real uneasy feeling about it.

Does anyone have advice or experience with this?

---------
Disclaimer:
This is NOT a solicitation....but merely an attempt to encompass the vast knowledge of ECCIE members.
In all innocence....heretofore (did I say that right)....no manipulative intent has been presented. LOL...
Hugs!
GingerB

geezerdude2 · 10-08-2010, 05:00 PM

Good questions. Unfortunately, I have absolutely no answers! However, he will be one lucky sonofabitch!!

CenterLock · 10-08-2010, 07:20 PM

Take the "open" out and answer "where do you go to find an SO?" If you'd normally hit the swinger areas, go for it. Otherwise find what you find where you find it. Everyone's different - so too is the ability to handle openness. Treat every relationship that way just make the need for openness clear. Maybe he can handle it, maybe he can't. If not, move on.

My 0.02

Kaci Snow · 10-08-2010, 07:42 PM

Im not sure if im the right person to answer this seeing as i have been with my SO for what seems like forever and a day. With this we understand that we both have needs and that sometimes they are fullfilled by others . I love working even though i will be retiring soon. As far as were to find somebody like this Im not sure.

SweetAterPie · 10-08-2010, 07:43 PM

Hello Ginger I do not have any sage advice or long term experience on the matter other than some erotic spur of the moment, drunken erotic episodes.

I do have some opinions,

We living things are flawed to some degree or another. If both party's are so well adjusted that you can sustain a mutual satisfaction and joy in your situation, relationship that would be the ideal.

In the perfect world we are so in tune with each other and communications are such, that there is always a balance of ones own needs and that of their mate. This is difficult in that other world X's 10 in this one not impossible but rare.

Inevitably one or the other will do something silly like fall madly in love.

Scenario #1, I'm hungry, horny and lonely and she is spending all her time with him.
Scenario #2, Review: I just met my new ATF she is everything one could ever want in a women. And its not you.

lluv2 · 10-08-2010, 08:48 PM

Ginger,
My Ex SO and I were in the lifestyle for about 6 years, it was fun but also a double edge sword where a relationship is concerned. It is not for everyone ie "kids don't try this at home" She's my ex for other reason beside LS,, any guy lucky enough to hookup with a bisexual woman that wants to explore the kinkier sides of sex together or apart should consider everything a gift and go with the flow.

SweetAterPie · 10-08-2010, 11:47 PM

And scenario #3, Our souls are One. Oh My, the possibilities.

Grabazz · 10-09-2010, 02:24 PM

As long as you leave "love" out of the relationship, it's possible.
Sorry, but we can't have everything.
If you think you can have it all....you just bought a ticket on the pain train.

Jobe0111 · 10-09-2010, 02:35 PM

My opinion is quite simple. I just don't see how anyone can have a true relationship and still feel the need to have variety in their sex life.

If two people agree to have an open relationship, it's not much more than a f-buddy arrangement.

Call me naive, just how I think.

DFK Hunter · 10-09-2010, 04:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jobe0111

My opinion is quite simple. I just don't see how anyone can have a true relationship and still feel the need to have variety in their sex life.

If two people agree to have an open relationship, it's not much more than a f-buddy arrangement.

Call me naive, just how I think.

+1
I'm the same way, but then I'm the rare ox in this community anyway. I judge no one, how they live their private affairs is none of my concern. But should I ever be so lucky to find myself in love again, one big way that love will manifest itself is in an exclusive sexual appetite for her.

But that's just me. WALDT & YMMV.

GingerB · 10-09-2010, 06:27 PM

wow. this has been very enlightening in many ways. I hope to get more people to express their opinion on this subject. Reading your replies has definately made me stop and think about which direction I should put my efforts. Thanks to you that have voiced your feelings.

Getting and "keeping" a relationship could be two different things. I don't want....nor do I have time for MORE PAIN in my life. I feel I've lived through enough lessons....that I DO NOT need to F***k up again.
But...on the other hand.....I know how permiscuous I am....and don't want to commit to something I cannot hold my end of the bargain.
This is curious....

cuckold4u · 10-09-2010, 07:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jobe0111

My opinion is quite simple. I just don't see how anyone can have a true relationship and still feel the need to have variety in their sex life.

If two people agree to have an open relationship, it's not much more than a f-buddy arrangement.

Call me naive, just how I think.

To each his/her own. For me I could not disagree more. Love is what sustains a relationship. Sex is just that...sex. I hope to one day find someone that I can have the best of all worlds with. Of course being a cuckold...I find having my partner enjoy others is what drives me to want her more. Again, her having sex with others...that has nothing to do with the respect and emotions I have for her.

SweetAterPie · 10-09-2010, 08:05 PM

I have yet to offend anyone today. And I have no data to backup the following statements. Providers have more intimate encounters daily than hobbyist.The male species are in a constant state of PMS with balls.Variety is/was not the primary reason for selecting the profession.

Possible required conversation.

Poetic license;
Dear STP though you are a great friend and the hottest individual with great intellect and a LARGE package, I must confess Buddig and Beans is an acquired taste I have yet to master.

Again, Poetic license;
Babe, your the best you know I luv's you rent is due tomorrow just two more okay?

MaxiMilyen · 10-09-2010, 08:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jobe0111

My opinion is quite simple. I just don't see how anyone can have a true relationship and still feel the need to have variety in their sex life.

If two people agree to have an open relationship, it's not much more than a f-buddy arrangement.

Call me naive, just how I think.

hey there Naive...LOL I kid I kid

Open relationships can be great for those who can actually keep things in perspective. In some ways they can be more work than a committed relationship. You must really KNOW your partner. Doesn't hurt to explore your options. Also, monogamous relationships can be great for those who truly desire that type of relationship. I've done it and it was great while it lasted, but we won't go into that story....LOL

Ginger....no one wants to get hurt, hon. You definitely won't if you don't try, but you might also miss out on something great and life lasting if ya don't try. It's hard to invest time and energy into someone just to find out it's not gonna work out, but we've all been there......some more than others. Life is short and I, personally, do not believe we were meant to be alone, no matter what our proclivities are. So, date around and try to find someone as like minded as you are. Always remember to stay true to who you are and what your desires are...best of luck.

Oh, and ya definitely gotta kiss a few frogs

before you'll find your prince

!

PSD · 10-09-2010, 08:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DFK Hunter

+1
I'm the same way, but then I'm the rare ox in this community anyway. I judge no one, how they live their private affairs is none of my concern. But should I ever be so lucky to find myself in love again, one big way that love will manifest itself is in an exclusive sexual appetite for her.

But that's just me. WALDT & YMMV.

Very...VERY well stated, sir. Perhaps we're just old-fashioned romantics. Perhaps we simply relish the feeling of fierce loyalty. Feel free to append to this list...

PSD