"The Girl Next Door"

[Toyz]

So I've been reading reviews here for years. I enjoy the vast majority of them for content, writing style, pictorial evidence, etc. Some read like Harry Reems diary, some more honest like. I figure the truth is probably WAY below the reports.

That said, I keep hearing all these glowing stories about "the girl next door". And I'm thinking, "I'm missing out". I mean, I have my favs...I have my quick pops, my hang out with girls, my PSE, GFE, and basic fuck-the-shit-out-of-me girls...

But I have never had "the girl next door".

So this past weekend I decide I am going to visit TGND & see what all the incredible fuss is about.

I go outside, walk next door and knock...soon it is answered by Hagrid from Harry Potter...swear to god this guy is 6'5" 350# hasn't had a shave or a haircut since the 60's....but I push on in my endeavor..."Is the girl next door here"? I implore...

He muttered some guttural response I couldn't understand and huffs off...but leaves the door open...not long later this wildebeest looking female plods to the door and says "CANEYE HEP YE"? I'm thinking BBW just took a detour but ask "whats your menu like"? She stands there befuddled as fuck but finally says "WE'Z HAVIN FRANKS & BEANIE WEINIES FER DINNER".

At this point, I'm thinking taking one for the team is not such a good idea so I ask her her rate.

"WHATCHA MEAN, RATE FER WUT"?

For the pussy ya dim slit....{{{I think but don't say}}}. I realize she is being coy so I reach over and pop a boob outta the top of her greasy vneck tshirt...DAMN! The fugger slinks down to her navel as if its looking for a place to hide.

She smiles....
I leave...
You fuggers are crazy....TGND is NOT that hot at all...

[knotty man]

hell, i live right between a creamatorium and a morgue.
one girl is hot as fuck, the other cold a shit.
but,both are pretty much dead in the sack

[Guest121115]

Damn where do you live? Must be a different neighborhood everyone is talking about.

[Schmafty]

Franks AND Beanie Weinies? That's way too many weinies! I would have cut my losses and split right then and there.

[cinnamonshark]

I think Toyz should be writing short stories for a mens magazine. Who's with me on that?

[Beagle]

ME!

(Alright, F2C.....gimme my two feety now)

[Annika]

I lived in Hyde park for a few years and I was the GND!
Try Hyde park lots of hot GND there

[Toyz]

My all time ATF lived in Hyde Park...

[Guest121115]

Wasn't TAK in Hyde park?

[Toyz]

Originally Posted by The.Chosen.One

Wasn't TAK in Hyde park?

Yeah she mentioned that...'cept I think hers was Jekyll & Hyde Park...

[Guest031715-1]

Originally Posted by cinnamonshark

I think Toyz should be writing short stories for a mens magazine. Who's with me on that?

NOT I! I know he's trying to be funny and it's all in good fun, but he promotes sexism and disrespect against women often and we definitely don't need any more every day Joe's thinking it's cool to treat women like things more than they already do!

Being familiar with his writing style and humor, I'm not offended often, but I find myself cringing often and being thankful it's all being kept on this board and not being published to the general public. His "jokes" are jokes here, but people on the outside world could and would take it as "excuses to treat women like crap."

[Toyz]

Originally Posted by Electricfeelnow

NOT I! I know he's trying to be funny and it's all in good fun, but he promotes sexism and disrespect against women often and we definitely don't need any more every day Joe's thinking it's cool to treat women like things more than they already do!

Being familiar with his writing style and humor, I'm not offended often, but I find myself cringing often and being thankful it's all being kept on this board and not being published to the general public. His "jokes" are jokes here, but people on the outside world could and would take it as "excuses to treat women like crap."

Your ego is flashing out of control EFN...I know you somehow see yourself as the new voice of hoogardom & as some kind of modern day martyr, but you need to get over yourself a bit...I don't see a ton of support for your cause and many of us are concerned having you be so vocal about OUR hobby...as if its your own private property. Yah you are one of many "workers"...but that's it...just one of many. Maybe you start a movement, but its more likely you burn at the stake alone.

As a "not very well respected comic" you'll understand if I take your views on humor with a large grain of salt...no offense meant, but maybe you were in the wrong line of work? Comedy has been one medium through the years that have pushed the boundaries of social exceptance. Lenny Bruce, George Carlin, Richard Pryor, some of the original work on Saturday Night live. Ground breaking stuff and NOT socially acceptable. A lot of the bits/skits made people "cringe" because it took them out of their comfort zone. You seem extremely tight assed regarding "respect" and lack of same. Making a joke about our hobby and poking fun at the girls or the guys is no more...if I push your buttons too hard, maybe you should look at yourself and try to lose some of the anger.

[cinnamonshark]

Here we go again.....

[Toyz]

Originally Posted by cinnamonshark

Here we go again.....

Broken Record CS...find a new schtick, at least its intelligent banter back and forth.

[fun2come]

Originally Posted by Beagle

(Alright, F2C.....gimme my two feety now)

Babel Fish malfunction... come again ....

Originally Posted by Toyz

Broken Record CS...find a new schtick, at least its intelligent banter back and forth.

Sorry CS, but I agree with Toyz here, this was going to be interesting.

I mean we have a provider who wants to remind us of social acceptance, possibly defend it, while us (failed) comedians are grasping at the last stage to push it out a little bit further...