Shhh! It's a secret...?

[Guest031715-1]

In light of two hobby girls going onto a live radio show and talking about not only the hobby but their role in the hobby, I was curious about how secret other providers keep their "hobby life."

Do you have any friends that know? Do your parents know? Does ANYONE know? Were you found out of did you decide to tell them? How open are you about it, if open at all? Why are you NOT open about it? Is it private strictly for safety? Are you ashamed to tell others or scared to tell others, or both? Would you ever talk publicly about your time in the hobby (whether you're "retired" or still working)? Do you talk publicly about it? Would you be mortified if anyone from your RW found out? Would you be fired or expelled or disowned if anyone found out?

Do you like when other working girls speak out? Do you hate it?

I'm very curious! The show yesterday illustrated just how different two providers can be (one is more of a performer "look at meeee!" type, the other is genuinely a lover of sex and intimacy and kink who truly finds all sex sexy) and I started wondering what the different takes were on "coming out" or other providers "coming out."

Thanks for any feedback!

EFN

[RickRyder]

Well, what are your thoughst/views on your own inquiries?
Im sure other would be more open to communicate after seeing your viewpoints thus comparing them to their own.

[Victoria Columbari]

I have one family member that knows; a couple of friends. I am not embarrassed; I just don't want to hear the whole you are going to hell thing. My family is very Catholic so even though two of my siblings don't go to church, if i told them, they would tell my parents and well it just goes downhill from there.
I also don't tell too many of my friends as they are mostly from chruch so again, don't feel like listening to the preaching.

[Guest031715-1]

Totally fair. I was in a hurry this morning and wanted to get the question out, but I see how me sharing my own answers to my own question would be more helpful to the conversation.

I very recently decided to be completely open about what I do. When anyone asks "so what do you do for work?" - I tell them. I don't let the fear of possible shame or unfair judgement stop me anymore. I sat down with myself a couple months ago and evaluated what the hobby is to me and how I truly feel about the work I do. And at the end of it - I felt pride. I felt so much pride I was ready to face the possible consequences I could face by being so open. I'm sick of other people running how we not only choose to make a living, but how we choose to live period. I got sick of the lies, i lost track of the lies. I got sick of fearing when someone else might "discover" what I do. I got sick of something so major in my life being run by other people and their ideas of what I am and what I do.

Before a couple months ago, only my roommate and a couple friends knew. I had told one therapist. since then, I advocate for sex workers on my facebook page and say something like "WE need to fight for equality," making it clear that I am an escorting sex worker too.

I'm in the comedy community so when someone jokingly asked "So how many prostitutes are in Austin Comedy" I replied with and made it obvious that I was one and I spent 350 comments educating and correcting people who had questions or comments about me and what I do. I ignored the assholes. Then a popular radio show talks about the thread the next day and they're talking about me and the other chick who spoke up. Both of us contacted the station telling them we'd love to be on to talk with them about our work and I was one of the girls who was on yesterday morning. I kept an alias so it'd be harder for strangers hearing the podcast to make the connection to me since I'm still working, not because of shame or fear. I need to keep some boundaries for my own safety and the safety and anonymity of my valued clients.

I am proud of what I do and I am 100% open about it.

[Guest031715-1]

Make that 98% honest about it.

[TheDude88]

You go girl, your awesome!!!

[Guest021716-4]

Most of the people in my life know. If they are judgemental or negative... they aren't in my life for long! People can say what they want about it, they don't have to live my life, only I do. People will always have something to say about something. What matters is how I feel about it, imo. Someone made a comment recently about how doing this work wasn't something to be proud of or feel a sense of success over. I say... Success is measured by our own perceptions. I am a very successful hoe, lol!

It has taught me more about life than college or my other "respectable" "legit" job. For that, I am thankful and proud. I am proud that I have the courage to not be a sheep or robot. I march to the beat of my own drum.

It has taught me how to be a better business person and helps/helped me in my other business endeavors.

[Listener]

You do realize sex work is illegal right? It shouldn't be but it is. Why would anyone openly advertise that they participate in illegal activities?

If you've ever heard of the "Art of War" all info provided should be on a need to know basis only as all info illegal or not is power and can be used against you quite effectively in the right hands. This has nothing to do with being ashamed of your profession. It's about utilizing common sense given our current social state and laws.

Today you're young without a care in the world however as you will learn circumstances change with time and you very well may regret having needlessly put it out there as ammo to be used against you.

For example in a future child custody battle or should you fall in love hoping to settle down with that special someone whose career would be jeopardized by such info falling into the hands of his enemies.

[RALPHEY BOY]

what is odd to me is half the people who know NOTHING about Hobby/Provider relationship think yall are all junkie street walkers, and the other half think its ALWAYS about sex...

they have so much to learn!

[Listener]

Originally Posted by RALPHEY BOY

what is odd to me is half the people who know NOTHING about Hobby/Provider relationship think yall are all junkie street walkers, and the other half think its ALWAYS about sex...

they have so much to learn!

Can't speak for anyone else but for me the hobby Is ALWAYS 100% about sex.

[RALPHEY BOY]

Originally Posted by Listener

Can't speak for anyone else but for me the hobby Is always 100% about sex.

yes to each his own. for me when i started it was about the sex only, then it was more about the chase or the hunt, now its back to the sex and some intimacy, since I seldom to never see a new girl. I tend to stay with my UTR regs

[Guest031715-1]

Listener, I speak out to help STOP it from being a "need to know basis." I strive for a world where not only is it legal, but women are proud to tell others of their work and services.

Like I said, I decided I was willing to make the sacrifices I may need to make. I will accept the consequences I may end up facing for being so open. But it's what has to happen for SEX WORKERS to be something this country discusses and debates about enough that it becomes comparable to Marijuana Legalization and Gay Marriage Equality. You can't expect things to change by not taking risks and by not promoting CHANGE.

If I continued to live in fear because of what sex work and escorting is NOW, who am I letting be in control in my life?

I am and have been an escort for two years, and that is a part of ME. I will no longer hide a part of ME because of what other people THINK I should fear. It may be illegal now, but I have made the decision to be a part of the CHANGE that I so desperately want for us. I will not just stand around and hope while I lie and hide about who I really am.

[Bob McV]

Wait, so you're a comic?! I find that more shocking, than you being an escort!

Seriously thought, I applaud your stance, even thought I personally find it very risky to do so. I see a big difference between being discrete and living in fear. Change in the sex work industry will happen, but I question if standing up and shouting "I'm a prostitute" will do much besides get you arrested. That said, I hope you prove me wrong.

In my circle of friends I suspect that they wouldn't care one way or the other if I they knew I am friends with escorts (and there are a couple that I am actually friends with regardless of the stereotypes) but would be shocked and dismayed if they knew I actually hired one from time to time. I realize my friends, and my experiences here in general are rather atypical, but no less valid.

[jd_10567]

As a "hobbyist" I was "outed" by my SO last year...which is why she is now "ex-SO" and am so much more comfortable knowing the secret is out. I'm sure there are "ex-friends" who were told about my ventures and if they approached me with attitude, then I would do as Ms.SDR would do...they would no longer be in my life. I would never volunteer the information as I believe much like Listener...anything that can be used against you is not something to advertise to the world. To each their own, but I've seen more misery by those who wish to harm you in any way possible regardless of the consequences. Be careful and smart out there my friends and always be safe!!

[Toyz]

I have dated three girls in the hobby. One very seriously who was a daily part of my life for over a year.

However no one knew what their "career" was. And no one in my personal life knows I hobby.

And while I am not in no unusual danger were it made public, the opinions at present are this is a bad as well as illegal thing.

So no...I don't speak of it.

And as most of the guys here are married, what would they actually gain by going public?