Fisting men: Ladies, tell us about your technique and success rate

[educatedkinkster]

I was surprised and gratified at the number of responses to my thread looking for a woman with small hands for my first try at being fisted, after having done other anal play for years. I loved the obvious high quality of the women who responded, both in the thread, and by PMs. I didn't expect to have so many great choices. It also interested me how many men said they were up for trying this. I guess it must be more common than I thought.

Meanwhile, excited as I am about trying this, I'm also pretty nervous about it, and I have a few questions for the providers who've done this--though men who've had it done successfully are welcome to respond as well:

• How many first timers have you done?
• How much time did it take to successfully accomplish fisting a newbie (Like me LOL). Things I've read say it probably takes close to an hour to work up to it.
• What has your success rate with newbies been?
• Have you been able to do it without significant pain, or did the man have to push through pain to do it?
• What lube do you use? I've read that Crisco is the old standby, but that whatever you use, it should be applied in big quantities and often? Should the gentleman bring the bucket of lube?
• How do you go about getting all the way in? What I've read is that you form your hand into kind of a duckbill shape and oh so gradually work it in--that it isn't too hard to get up to the knuckles, but that getting the knuckles through is the hardest part. I've seen mention of a corkscrew motion to help with the final push.
• What do you do with your hand after you get it through?
• Do you combine having your hand in his ass with anything else, HJ, BBBJ, RCG? Or is simply achieving that more than enough?
• Was there any problem getting your hand back out?
• How did your men react during and after this rather intensely intimate invasion?
• What did you get out of doing this?

BTW, before and after joining ECCIE, I've read extensively in various areas. This forum is my favorite spot in ECCIE by far. The quality of the dialogue is interesting, often funny, and the level of acceptance of each other's kinks is lovely to see. And the ever erudite EW is a great moderator.

I'm going to attempt to bust this cherry sometime in the next month and will share how that goes on here.

[jarith1]

First make is easy on the ladies, know what the largest object you have successfully had inside you.
How long it took you to get it in and how it felt. Don't trust porn they are doinging it for the show not the pleasure factor, plus they have worked at it for months maybe years.
Having fist in you is awesome but I found out I really like slow in and out pushing against my prostate. That can make you sore quick so you have to lube liberally and often, please buy your own lube use it on your self first and bing a fresh supply with you. The stuff I like costs $29 a tube, I like a certain type of glove so next time I will bring those too.
Plan to work up to full penetration so a multiple hour session is a must, this is something you want to enjoy DON'T RUSH IT.
If I may recommend a lady Ms. Atheana has the skills you are looking for. But as I found out there are others who play well too.

[educatedkinkster]

Well, no responses about the success rate of anally fisting a man for the first time. I will be in that position soon, and I'd really like to hear how successful those who do it have been on first timers, and what the secrets to their success were.

Anyone?

[The Big Kahuna]

Be sure you post about your experience! I have had tons of anal play over the years and have come close to full fist penetration but never got there. Would love to hear your story!

[Zoey Zacquery]

I suspect it's hard for us to post about a "success rate" because it's not like any of us have hundreds of guys lining up to be fisted to be able to throw out a percentage. Personally, I've never pre-arranged a fisting session explicitly. For me, fisting has usually been suggested by me when I am fucking someone and I can just tell that, with a little patience and effort, someone will probably be able to accommodate my whole fist. I've been successful almost every time I've tried. Once or twice it took a couple of playdates to get all the way there.

I personally use Sliquid Sassy which is a thick water-based lube designed for anal play. And I use a LOT of it. It would be nice for a gentleman to bring 2-3 large bottles of it along with him, or whatever his lube of choice is. Crisco will destroy latex gloves, but this can be worked around by changing the gloves every 15-20 minutes.


There should NEVER be pain. Maybe an intense feeling of fullness but not pain. If you're experiencing pain, stop IMMEDIATELY and apply more lubrication. Do not push through feelings of pain. Pain is your friend. Pain is an indicator that something is hurting you and you need to heed pain, not "push through it". For this matter, NEVER use any anal numbing products such as Anal-Eze, etc., as they are dangerous.


When fisting someone, I never try to "screw" anything into anyone. My job is to apply steady, even pressure, squish my knuckles as closely together as possible to create an achievable penetration radius, have plenty of lubrication at the scene, tilt my hand in slightly different directions to search for the best angle, etc. It's not my job to do anything more than create the best possible conditions for the RECIEVER's ass to "suck up" my fist. The receiver truly does all the real intense work in this situation.


As a receiver, you should not expect to grit your teeth, drift away from reality, push through the pain, etc. This kind of approach won't get you anywhere. Receiving any kind of anal play is an active process that involves relaxing your sphincter muscle. This is not the same as relaxing your leg or relaxing your neck, because your sphincter muscle is clenched by default (to hold things inside you) until you intentionally relax your muscle. This is part of what you do when you go to the bathroom, though probably subconsciously. It is also the muscle that makes your cock jump. If you're not familiar with intentionally relaxing that muscle, try to practice by working a finger into your own ass while flexing the muscle that makes your cock jump. Just apply steady, even pressure with one well-lubricated finger, but don't push hard, just gently, at your own hole. Then, flex the muscle that makes your cock jump several times in successive order while continuing to provide gentle pressure with your finger. You will notice yourself relaxing and sucking your finger in. This is the basics of "active bottoming".


When it comes to fisting, you are actually going much deeper than the sphincter muscle, and the sphincter is just the beginning. The sphincter is a ring-shaped muscle, but behind it are a whole series of ring-shaped muscles. To receive more intense anal play, one must learn to relax each of these successive rings to receive a fist further and further into their body. If you've ever heard of people who can take a fist up to the elbow, these are people who have mastered controlling these internal muscles to suck someone's arm inside of them. This is a complicated maneuver for the giver because of having to remember which direction to turn one's hand inside of someone, etc., and not something I'm really qualified to give specific advice on (going so deep), but thinking of those different successive rings and searching inside yourself for how to actively relax those muscles will help lead you to success.


Inserting a large butt plug (as large as you can handle, and hopefully you have been practicing and working your way up) for a few hours the day before or the morning of your session would speed things along during the session because your body will already be warmed up. Might be more fun to have the lady warm you up from scratch, just depends on your preference.

[melannie_star]

I have found using oil based boy butter has always worked very well. Water based would work just fine as well.

My most favorite slut loves when I fist him. I am not sure if I was his first, but our experience is definatley one of a kind. We tend to start with various size dildos till we reach the biggest one( Thick and hangs down to my knees). As I strap on he is bent over the bed as I let him know how much of a dirty slut he is and how much I enjoy f*cking his Ass. I make sure he is nicely stretched and relaxed as I pull out and gently tease his ass. I wear black latex gloves which go all the way up my arm to my shoulder blades. I dip my hand in Lube bucket and insert my fist a little at a time..Slowly!
I tend to use an in and out motion and twist my wrist as I start to feel him open up. I do not have very big hands and once I feel my knuckles gently push past.. I apply a bit more pressure to where I just slide right in! The first time I had done it.. I was in awe!! I could not begin to describe the feeling. The last time we shared, I was able to reach elbow deep. I begin to feel around and get familiar with exactly what I am touching while inside. My slut lets me know when I have reached a good spot to go harder. I usually take him bending over on all fours first. Then I get him on his stomache so we can see eachother and as I begin to swallow his c*ck. I can always tell when he is about to cum.. and when he does, it is always intense.

I have done a few first timers for anal play.. although have yet to fit my fist.
I believe each person is different and getting familiar with the body, inside and out, will determine what position and technique works best.

[educatedkinkster]

Wow, Zoey, thank you for taking the time to write such a great post. You write with great clarity and knowledge, and that's exactly what I was looking for, and I'm sure it will be just as helpful to other providers and hobbyists reading this thread. Hopefully I will get the chance to both thank you, and use your expertise when you visit Houston!

Originally Posted by spicyzoey

I suspect it's hard for us to post about a "success rate" because it's not like any of us have hundreds of guys lining up to be fisted to be able to throw out a percentage. Personally, I've never pre-arranged a fisting session explicitly. For me, fisting has usually been suggested by me when I am fucking someone and I can just tell that, with a little patience and effort, someone will probably be able to accommodate my whole fist. I've been successful almost every time I've tried. Once or twice it took a couple of playdates to get all the way there.

I personally use Sliquid Sassy which is a thick water-based lube designed for anal play. And I use a LOT of it. It would be nice for a gentleman to bring 2-3 large bottles of it along with him, or whatever his lube of choice is. Crisco will destroy latex gloves, but this can be worked around by changing the gloves every 15-20 minutes.


There should NEVER be pain. Maybe an intense feeling of fullness but not pain. If you're experiencing pain, stop IMMEDIATELY and apply more lubrication. Do not push through feelings of pain. Pain is your friend. Pain is an indicator that something is hurting you and you need to heed pain, not "push through it". For this matter, NEVER use any anal numbing products such as Anal-Eze, etc., as they are dangerous.


When fisting someone, I never try to "screw" anything into anyone. My job is to apply steady, even pressure, squish my knuckles as closely together as possible to create an achievable penetration radius, have plenty of lubrication at the scene, tilt my hand in slightly different directions to search for the best angle, etc. It's not my job to do anything more than create the best possible conditions for the RECIEVER's ass to "suck up" my fist. The receiver truly does all the real intense work in this situation.


As a receiver, you should not expect to grit your teeth, drift away from reality, push through the pain, etc. This kind of approach won't get you anywhere. Receiving any kind of anal play is an active process that involves relaxing your sphincter muscle. This is not the same as relaxing your leg or relaxing your neck, because your sphincter muscle is clenched by default (to hold things inside you) until you intentionally relax your muscle. This is part of what you do when you go to the bathroom, though probably subconsciously. It is also the muscle that makes your cock jump. If you're not familiar with intentionally relaxing that muscle, try to practice by working a finger into your own ass while flexing the muscle that makes your cock jump. Just apply steady, even pressure with one well-lubricated finger, but don't push hard, just gently, at your own hole. Then, flex the muscle that makes your cock jump several times in successive order while continuing to provide gentle pressure with your finger. You will notice yourself relaxing and sucking your finger in. This is the basics of "active bottoming".


When it comes to fisting, you are actually going much deeper than the sphincter muscle, and the sphincter is just the beginning. The sphincter is a ring-shaped muscle, but behind it are a whole series of ring-shaped muscles. To receive more intense anal play, one must learn to relax each of these successive rings to receive a fist further and further into their body. If you've ever heard of people who can take a fist up to the elbow, these are people who have mastered controlling these internal muscles to suck someone's arm inside of them. This is a complicated maneuver for the giver because of having to remember which direction to turn one's hand inside of someone, etc., and not something I'm really qualified to give specific advice on (going so deep), but thinking of those different successive rings and searching inside yourself for how to actively relax those muscles will help lead you to success.


Inserting a large butt plug (as large as you can handle, and hopefully you have been practicing and working your way up) for a few hours the day before or the morning of your session would speed things along during the session because your body will already be warmed up. Might be more fun to have the lady warm you up from scratch, just depends on your preference.

[mojoman]

Originally Posted by melannie_star

I have found using oil based boy butter has always worked very well. Water based would work just fine as well.

My most favorite slut loves when I fist him. I am not sure if I was his first, but our experience is definatley one of a kind. We tend to start with various size dildos till we reach the biggest one( Thick and hangs down to my knees). As I strap on he is bent over the bed as I let him know how much of a dirty slut he is and how much I enjoy f*cking his Ass. I make sure he is nicely stretched and relaxed as I pull out and gently tease his ass. I wear black latex gloves which go all the way up my arm to my shoulder blades. I dip my hand in Lube bucket and insert my fist a little at a time..Slowly!
I tend to use an in and out motion and twist my wrist as I start to feel him open up. I do not have very big hands and once I feel my knuckles gently push past.. I apply a bit more pressure to where I just slide right in! The first time I had done it.. I was in awe!! I could not begin to describe the feeling. The last time we shared, I was able to reach elbow deep. I begin to feel around and get familiar with exactly what I am touching while inside. My slut lets me know when I have reached a good spot to go harder. I usually take him bending over on all fours first. Then I get him on his stomache so we can see eachother and as I begin to swallow his c*ck. I can always tell when he is about to cum.. and when he does, it is always intense.

I have done a few first timers for anal play.. although have yet to fit my fist.
I believe each person is different and getting familiar with the body, inside and out, will determine what position and technique works best.

Oh my

[crimson]

H-o-l-y M-o-l-y. I need some of that!

Originally Posted by melannie_star

I usually take him bending over on all fours first. Then I get him on his stomache so we can see eachother and as I begin to swallow his c*ck. I can always tell when he is about to cum.. and when he does, it is always intense.

[educatedkinkster]

OK, took my first shot at this with a tiny lady. Managed a large toy fine, but couldn't relax enough to get her hand in. Got 5 fingers in, but hung at the knuckles. She tried gentle constant pressure, and got part way into the sphincter once, but became painful and she pulled back. That seemed to cause me to tighten up, and a few more attempts were less successful.

Any suggestions?

[TexasBoy]

Originally Posted by melannie_star View Post
I have found using oil based boy butter has always worked very well. Water based would work just fine as well.

My most favorite slut loves when I fist him. I am not sure if I was his first, but our experience is definatley one of a kind. We tend to start with various size dildos till we reach the biggest one( Thick and hangs down to my knees). As I strap on he is bent over the bed as I let him know how much of a dirty slut he is and how much I enjoy f*cking his Ass. I make sure he is nicely stretched and relaxed as I pull out and gently tease his ass. I wear black latex gloves which go all the way up my arm to my shoulder blades. I dip my hand in Lube bucket and insert my fist a little at a time..Slowly!
I tend to use an in and out motion and twist my wrist as I start to feel him open up. I do not have very big hands and once I feel my knuckles gently push past.. I apply a bit more pressure to where I just slide right in! The first time I had done it.. I was in awe!! I could not begin to describe the feeling. The last time we shared, I was able to reach elbow deep. I begin to feel around and get familiar with exactly what I am touching while inside. My slut lets me know when I have reached a good spot to go harder. I usually take him bending over on all fours first. Then I get him on his stomache so we can see eachother and as I begin to swallow his c*ck. I can always tell when he is about to cum.. and when he does, it is always intense.

I have done a few first timers for anal play.. although have yet to fit my fist.
I believe each person is different and getting familiar with the body, inside and out, will determine what position and technique works best.


Oh my


Oh my indeed! Hoping to see her on her trip to Austin in May, will be asking for some of this!

[crimson]

You have to be very relaxed for the last bit. I also find it's easier to scoot yourself down on top with her hand stationary.

Originally Posted by educatedkinkster

OK, took my first shot at this with a tiny lady. Managed a large toy fine, but couldn't relax enough to get her hand in. Got 5 fingers in, but hung at the knuckles. She tried gentle constant pressure, and got part way into the sphincter once, but became painful and she pulled back. That seemed to cause me to tighten up, and a few more attempts were less successful.

Any suggestions?

[Annika]

I've never even tried Greek but more power to those who seek the edge

[maxemus48]

Originally Posted by melannie_star

I have found using oil based boy butter has always worked very well. Water based would work just fine as well.

My most favorite slut loves when I fist him. I am not sure if I was his first, but our experience is definatley one of a kind. We tend to start with various size dildos till we reach the biggest one( Thick and hangs down to my knees). As I strap on he is bent over the bed as I let him know how much of a dirty slut he is and how much I enjoy f*cking his Ass. I make sure he is nicely stretched and relaxed as I pull out and gently tease his ass. I wear black latex gloves which go all the way up my arm to my shoulder blades. I dip my hand in Lube bucket and insert my fist a little at a time..Slowly!
I tend to use an in and out motion and twist my wrist as I start to feel him open up. I do not have very big hands and once I feel my knuckles gently push past.. I apply a bit more pressure to where I just slide right in! The first time I had done it.. I was in awe!! I could not begin to describe the feeling. The last time we shared, I was able to reach elbow deep. I begin to feel around and get familiar with exactly what I am touching while inside. My slut lets me know when I have reached a good spot to go harder. I usually take him bending over on all fours first. Then I get him on his stomache so we can see eachother and as I begin to swallow his c*ck. I can always tell when he is about to cum.. and when he does, it is always intense.

I have done a few first timers for anal play.. although have yet to fit my fist.
I believe each person is different and getting familiar with the body, inside and out, will determine what position and technique works best.

Melanie, im game for all u mentioned.please pm me

[Jessie Austin]

Love the thread!!
I've done this a few times, I'm not expert but would love to find someone who enjoys it. The last time I did it, I needed longer gloves!

Great tips!!