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Guest011914-1 · 02-08-2011, 06:34 PM

I am a grown woman and and I do what I do because I choose to do it and I love what I do. I use to enjoy this board and thought that by posting thought provoking and light post I could gain some insight that would help me provide a more quality of service. I have seen alot of post that I choose not to reply to to avoid drama and what not,However, I must make this statement I have confidence and self respect and will not tolerate anyone disrespecting me just like I don't care for alot of the disrespect that i see here. The point I am trying to make is everyone from the mods to the providers to hobbyist should always remember "Just be respectful, you don't have to agree with someone's point of view or actions but you can comment or pm them and be respectful. Somewhere along the way that concept seems to have been lost is disreguarded..So I ask or hope this post reminds some people of this concept. I have had contact with alot of great people and some people I avoid. Treat people the way you want to be treated and things will be ok. Thank you for allowing me to say this...

topsgt38801 · 02-08-2011, 06:50 PM

So many people do have a lack of respect for others. There are many great folks on this site, but I myself have had a few take some of my comments out of context and go ballistic and start PM trash.

We are all different individuals and have different thoughts, feelings and ideas. There is no reason in the threads that all cannot maintain a level of civility in whatever they decide to post. Respect people and other people's opinions even if you do not agree with them.

NinaBrooke · 02-08-2011, 08:55 PM

PM trash....that is boring :-) i like the trash where i can see it :-) and i love dishes best served cold :-)

(lol). I think you make a great point. I think one thing that contributes to lack of respect (real or perceived one) is the limitations of written words without movements or mimicry of a whole body. So its easier to label down a persons acting just by nailing her /his words down to the core and maybe out of the context or out of interpretation. So i think for example my rude behaviour is completely ok when i compensate it with body language (e.g. sucking a cock or playing with my pussy :-) (lol)....

I think its the media as well, not only the lack of respect from one person to the other person. Also, contributing to that is the wide variety of people`s personalities and habits.
What is rude for one person is perfectly ok for another and what is arrogant for one person is completely normal for another.

But generally i agree with you :-). And i hear you.

Guest042611 · 02-08-2011, 11:45 PM

Agreed! People need to be nice to each other. In the internet world it's way too easy to hide behind a screen and be rude and feel as if there's no accountability or consequences. But reading nasty words, even from a complete stranger, can still be really hurtful. It's particularly true in a forum like this, where, for many of us, it's one of the only places where we can openly discuss this part of our lives.

NinaBrooke · 02-09-2011, 07:22 AM

But the hiding behind something is also valid in the real world, its not only in online modus where that happens. I know plenty of people who are real sweethearts in the face and real nasty behing the back. So I`d stop short of saying there is more accountability or more consequences in real life. Lies do prevent consequences. I think in whatever case its a good thing to be careful about using words in which contexts, about bashing a whole area of people or judging a whole area of people or backstabbing people even when you are nice to them in the face.

I think rudeness is not only about nasty words. Its about a general attitude towards other people. For me its easier to deal with rudeness in the face than backstabbing where people are so real sweet in the face and behing the back they lie and cheat and do all sorts of harming things to others.

When someone is rude in the face you can at least defend yourself or make a statement. When someone is hiding behing lies (be it in the safety of the internet or the safety of the masks of the real world) it can be also harmful , so i`d stop short of saying its just about how to use the right words. Its about a general attitude towards others, and being knowledgable what consequences could eventually arise if you say this or that (nasty or surrounded by candy does not matter).

I don`t need this forum to discuss my life as an escort, i am honest to the people that surround me and matter to me. And i have plenty of escort friends. I know women who work as escorts, have a boyfriend who does not even know what they do. Then they cheat on that boyfriend with some client who they fell in love. And all this without protection of condoms. And all this with being really really really sweet in everybody`s face. I `d consider this really rude, although officially everyone is delivering candies all the time. I think in the long run using nice words to hide the truth is also a little short sighted :-).

You are right with people have to be nice to each others. But i`d stop short that being nice is only a thing withing words. Sometimes honest rudeness can be nicer than dishonest backstabbing delivered with nice flowers, although the second one is perceived as correct. I`d say when it comes to the argument of what is PAINFUL, the second action is much more painful in the long run. The pain lasts longer.

WTF · 02-09-2011, 08:30 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ninasastri

I think rudeness is not only about nasty words. Its about a general attitude towards other people. For me its easier to deal with rudeness in the face than backstabbing where people are so real sweet in the face and behing the back they lie and cheat and do all sorts of harming things to others.

You are right with people have to be nice to each others. But i`d stop short that being nice is only a thing withing words. Sometimes honest rudeness can be nicer than dishonest backstabbing delivered with nice flowers, although the second one is perceived as correct. I`d say when it comes to the argument of what is PAINFUL, the second action is much more painful in the long run. The pain lasts longer.

I agree, I much prefer honesty to my face than this two face PM crap where people hide behind how nice they SAY they are but that same person is fighting to get one banned or worese the whisper lie. They will whisper a lie behind your back and not have the whetherall to say it to your face.

wildwooly1 · 02-09-2011, 08:44 AM

I think you are 100% correct that respect is a dying principle to some of our younger generation and if we ( the older generation ) does not try to inforce the ideas of respect and integrity to everyone by showing it ourselves then the direction all of this could head will strictly be downhill.
As i have said before on here it only takes a few minutes to read about someones showcase or just read some of their posts on here to find out what type individual you are dealing with and reguardless what you think when you first meet someone show them respect and treat them like you would want to be treated and dont start hacking someone down on here about a comment they made until you get to actually know the person that makes the comment.
respect, manners, etiquette and some type of friendship should be tried before making a decision on people and in the hobby everyone has a bad day sometimes so everybody lighten up a bit because there are different strokes for different folks and there are enough providers and clients on here to go around and not everyone is going to click with each other .
One persons ATF might be the others worst nightmare.
So play nice !!!

charlestudor2005 · 02-09-2011, 08:55 AM

I'm going to say again what I've always said: RESPECT IS EARNED.

And, to a certain extent, I'd rather have someone to bluntly tell me what they're thinking than to hear a lot of self-serving platitudes only to find out later the person didn't respect me at all.

I can't respect someone I just met. I don't know him/her well enough to form an opinion. Can I be nice? Sure. Says nothing about respect.

pjorourke · 02-09-2011, 09:06 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by wildwooly1

I think you are 100% correct that respect is a dying principle to some of our younger generation and if we ( the older generation ) does not try to inforce the ideas of respect and integrity to everyone by showing it ourselves then the direction all of this could head will strictly be downhill.

Is this the 60's again?

Naomi4u · 02-09-2011, 09:51 AM

To get respect you have to give it. That is all.

I B Hankering · 02-09-2011, 10:01 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by charlestudor2005

I'm going to say again what I've always said: RESPECT IS EARNED.

I must respectfully disagree. I think everyone is entitled to respect and consideration until they have demonstrated they are not entitled to such. Why is it, in our American society, that most everyone wants to be the impudent and disrespectful Vinnie Barbarino, the Fonz or Eddie Haskell when the real role models are the respectful and considerate Richie Cunningham and the Beaver?

Fancyinheels · 02-09-2011, 10:12 AM

We could at least be civil in expressing opposing opinions. I don't understand why we must have so many snide remarks. Perhaps the only way some posters have of sharpening their wits on a regular basis is by cutting someone down here?

Ansley · 02-09-2011, 10:22 AM

I hope the gentleman who wrote these words won't mind if I post them here. This was written about 5 years ago, couldn't they apply to this forum too?

"There are few rules, it's wise to sit back and read for a while before you begin posting. Yes, we engage in that lost practice of using manners. We are polite and we try to seduce, not argue. We expect you to walk that thin line between being polite and not being boring."

Iaintliein · 02-09-2011, 10:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by charlestudor2005

I'm going to say again what I've always said: RESPECT IS EARNED.

And, to a certain extent, I'd rather have someone to bluntly tell me what they're thinking than to hear a lot of self-serving platitudes only to find out later the person didn't respect me at all.

I can't respect someone I just met. I don't know him/her well enough to form an opinion. Can I be nice? Sure. Says nothing about respect.

I respectfully disagree. Respect is the due of anyone a gentleman interacts with until it is proven not to be deserved, in my opinion.

NinaBrooke · 02-09-2011, 10:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by charlestudor2005

I'm going to say again what I've always said: RESPECT IS EARNED.

And, to a certain extent, I'd rather have someone to bluntly tell me what they're thinking than to hear a lot of self-serving platitudes only to find out later the person didn't respect me at all.

I can't respect someone I just met. I don't know him/her well enough to form an opinion. Can I be nice? Sure. Says nothing about respect.

i agree with you on the respect is earned stuff. I see it too. But its the "is the glass empty or half full stuff". I was a punk once and one of that lifestyle sayings went "to me everyone is an asshole unless he proofs different". Some say it the other way round. I rather see it the glass half full stuff and think everyone and everything deserves to be respected. I see this as common courtesy towards strangers. And being thoughtful on how you provide information is something called common courtesy. I have to say for me there is no difference when i say "you stupid asshole" as opposed to not read an article and then posting crap about how stupid the poster of said article must be when even making a post. Or making generalized judgemental statements hidden behind politically correct behind nice words. Its both rude rudish and lacking common courtesy. And one can lead to the other. Its a two way street. Both things are not nice, but people are different, and use different forms of rude behaviour . :-).

so i agree that something like common courtesy towards strangers should exist. And i completely support Ansley`s quote. Its very clever! And it should appeal to real life and to internet behaviour :-).