You're not a BBW...you're just obese...

[Sarunga]

Originally Posted by Jusanotherdude

Not that it has any bering whatsoever to the context of this thread........

But No. Not like that. Not in public. But I am also not as brutally honest as Wakeup, or as passive and nice as some others. Would I tell her she was overweight & needed a change/lower calorie intake? Yes! Because I love her & worry about her well being and health, and it would be the truth. Are you saying you would NOT Sarunga? If no, do you think that really makes you a "Nicer" person, or someone who is turning a blind eye to inevitable doom?

Remember folks.... We are trying to assign tone to text & written words which is always a nearly impossible thing to get right....... People are free to voice their opinions on this board...... Just because one sees BBW, doesnt mean another isnt allowed to see "fat" which in turn he/she defines as "ugly". Is there a nicer, more PC way to say it? Yes. I personally find larger women unattractive. If Wakeup and some others had said it like that would it have been different?

I suggest folks take a bit of a step back and re evaluate what has been posted here...... There is a TON of really good stuff here, along with some very good back and forth...... We've been civil up to this point (for the most part) lets try and remain so and remain rational as well please......

JaD

Thank you for your honest response, JaD.

If you would indulge me a bit more, I would like to follow that up with another question:

Are you happy, indifferent, or unhappy....when providers.....who you find to be large and therefore unattractive...advertise their services on ECCIE?

I apologize if this question may be too personal....if so, please ignore.

To answer your question....I would advise her too...certainly not in public though.

[LexusLover]

Originally Posted by Sarunga

Are you happy, indifferent, or unhappy....when providers.....who you find to be large and therefore unattractive...advertise their services on ECCIE?

Didn't ask me, but ...

... as long as the services, goods, and price are accurate ...

.... I don't care, and an informed decision is made.

[imabout2]

Be who you are, how you are and what makes you happy! Is it harder to be over weight? Yes it is. I was 400lbs now 190lbs. Did my doctors tell me being fat was killing me? NO! stress test, blood test, EKG all normal! I had the mentality of fat and happy but never saw myself as fat. NOW at 190 I see that I am fat and I now feel better. I do more and last longer but one thing I will not do is tell someone else that they are killing themselves by being fat. I hated people telling me shit like that. I did what I did for me and no one else! To this day I enjoy ladies with meat on their bones. The saying more cushion for the pushen rings true for me! So ladies of larger stature be who you are! Hope to see you all! As long as the funds last!!!

[Fancyinheels]

Some of the statements in this thread startle, surprise, and sadden me. Being someone who has lost a lot of weight, and more importantly, kept it off, gives me perspective on both sides. Despite what Wakeup and others may think, it is NOT easy to lose weight. There are so many more factors involved than just pushing back from the table, and to think otherwise shows an entirely simplistic view of reality. Worse, this view perpetuates a stereotype that fat people are lazy in both mind and body, which is far from the truth. I managed a bookstore, helped run an animal sanctuary, was a board director on my homeowners association, worked with a youth program, created jewelry and art as another source of income, maintained a long-term relationship, and wrote fiction and poetry in my "spare" time, all at the SAME time and while clinically obese by every standard. A "lazy fat person" could not do that.

Medical, societal, environmental, economic, and as I said before, particularly psychological issues come into play with weight. My weight gain began when I lost my ONLY child, and what prompted me to climb out of a hole that took years to dig was me finally accepting the past and creating a future worth living, NOT what anyone else said or tried to ram down my throat. (As opposed to what I happily choose to accept down my throat now.) How do we know what factors instigate an individual's turn to food as friend? Unless you walk in others' boots for a while and deal with their problems and obstacles, don't pretend to know what makes them the people they are, or how to "cure" them so they don't offend your aesthetics or morals.

You'd think people on a hooker board would be less biased, considering hobbyists face much of the same prejudice, misunderstanding, and self-righteous outrage obesity does, and a lot of our tax money goes to legislate morality. Aren't we being a wee bit hypocritical here?

Originally Posted by Sarunga

Are you happy, indifferent, or unhappy....when providers.....who you find to be large and therefore unattractive...advertise their services on ECCIE?

This thread may be a way to pass time for some of you, pass judgement by others, or just pass on information, but for a group devoted to choice, which is what the Hobby is ALL about, this question ought to be irrelevant. You don't like a fat girl, don't call her, don't look at her ads. Some of you harass and condemn her, but why? She has just as much of a right to be here as a skinny girl, a midget, an Amazon, a black girl, an Indian girl, an Asian girl, a Catholic girl, a Jewish girl, a Pagan girl, etc., etc. Who cares if any woman is happy with her own self image, but perish the thought she not conform to OUR image of what she should be! Is that it???

The sun is hot, the moon is cold, a spade's a spade, and bigotry is bigotry in any form.

[LexusLover]

Originally Posted by Fancyinheels

Some of the statements in this thread startle, surprise, and sadden me.

".... it is NOT easy to lose weight. There are so many more factors involved than just pushing back from the table, and to think otherwise shows an entirely simplistic view of reality. Worse, this view perpetuates a stereotype that fat people are lazy in both mind and body, which is far from the truth.

Medical, cultural, societal, environmental, economic, and as I said before, particularly psychological issues come into play with weight.

How do we know what factors instigate an individual's turn to food as friend? Unless you walk in others' boots for a while and deal with their problems and obstacles, don't pretend to know what makes them the people they are, or how to "cure" them so they don't offend your aesthetics or morals.

Aren't we being a wee bit hypocritical here?

Bigotry is bigotry in any form.

Fancy, we have never met, and apparently we won't either.

Bigotry? You have got to be kidding. Please tell me you are.

I never thought I would see the day when someone would play the "race card" at a round table discussion of over-eating fat people.

On top of that you "ASSUME" that you and other fat people on this board are the only ones with .... err ... "factors" ... that require some "attention"!

Let me rephrase the theme of pushing away from the table: Process:
1. Go see a doctor about the medical issues;
2. Overcome the "cultural" issues by assimilating into the mainstream;
3. Modify ones social behavior to cope with the societal strains;
4. Remove oneself from the sugar, fat, and high calorie environment;
5. Spend some quality time with a shrink and group therapy;
6. While engaged in #1-5, above, push away from the table EARLY! AND
7. Since none of them are lazy, spend that extra time gained by pushing away from the table early walking several laps around the blocks (note plural) and park out at the far end of the parking lot the farthest away from the door to burn off some extra pounds as opposed to sitting in the SUV up by the front door in the AC waiting for someone to back out of a space closest to the door!


And right back at you!

"Some of the statements in this thread startle, surprise, and sadden me."

Not the least of which is yours, by the way.

You may consider me as being a "bigot" because I suggested that someone who is OVEREATING quit eating so much, but who gives a "hoot" what you think then ...


Now with all due respect to you, because you do not know me, if I can cold-turkey quit smoking with no pills, juice, gum, shrinks, shots, medical assistance, or cheerleaders .... from a 3 plus pack a day habit ....

.... someone who is eating too much can stop eating so much, because until they stop stuffing their face with so much food it is going to be practically impossible for "all the Kings" men to cause the pounds to fall off during "factor" adjustments #1 through 5!

I admire and respect you for taking control of your life and making the necessary course corrections to turn yourself into an attractive lady. Have a nice day.

[Guest071514-1]

Originally Posted by imabout2

Be who you are, how you are and what makes you happy! Is it harder to be over weight? Yes it is. I was 400lbs now 190lbs. Did my doctors tell me being fat was killing me? NO! stress test, blood test, EKG all normal! I had the mentality of fat and happy but never saw myself as fat. NOW at 190 I see that I am fat and I now feel better. I do more and last longer but one thing I will not do is tell someone else that they are killing themselves by being fat. I hated people telling me shit like that. I did what I did for me and no one else! To this day I enjoy ladies with meat on their bones. The saying more cushion for the pushen rings true for me! So ladies of larger stature be who you are! Hope to see you all! As long as the funds last!!!

This is my baby who chewed me out the other day for eating nachos with ground beef lmao. He told me I needed grilled chicken on that. Muahhhh, I love you baby, and I know you love me, just looking out for me. Let me know when you want some more cushion for your pushin xoxoxo

[Wakeup]

Yeah...because the double ladle of processed cheese or the fried tortilla chips don't mean anything, let's just switch from ground beef to ground chicken...

[Fancyinheels]

Originally Posted by LexusLover

Fancy, we have never met, and apparently we won't either.

Bigotry? You have got to be kidding. Please tell me you are.

I never thought I would see the day when someone would play the "race card" at a round table discussion of over-eating fat people.

On top of that you "ASSUME" that you and other fat people on this board are the only ones with .... err ... "factors" ... that require some "attention"!

Let me rephrase the theme of pushing away from the table: Process:
1. Go see a doctor about the medical issues;
2. Overcome the "cultural" issues by assimilating into the mainstream;
3. Modify ones social behavior to cope with the societal strains;
4. Remove oneself from the sugar, fat, and high calorie environment;
5. Spend some quality time with a shrink and group therapy;
6. While engaged in #1-5, above, push away from the table EARLY! AND
7. Since none of them are lazy, spend that extra time gained by pushing away from the table early walking several laps around the blocks (note plural) and park out at the far end of the parking lot the farthest away from the door to burn off some extra pounds as opposed to sitting in the SUV up by the front door in the AC waiting for someone to back out of a space closest to the door!


And right back at you!

"Some of the statements in this thread startle, surprise, and sadden me."

Not the least of which is yours, by the way.

You may consider me as being a "bigot" because I suggested that someone who is OVEREATING quit eating so much, but who gives a "hoot" what you think then ...


Now with all due respect to you, because you do not know me, if I can cold-turkey quit smoking with no pills, juice, gum, shrinks, shots, medical assistance, or cheerleaders .... from a 3 plus pack a day habit ....

.... someone who is eating too much can stop eating so much, because until they stop stuffing their face with so much food it is going to be practically impossible for "all the Kings" men to cause the pounds to fall off during "factor" adjustments #1 through 5!

I admire and respect you for taking control of your life and making the necessary course corrections to turn yourself into an attractive lady. Have a nice day.

You haven't seen the day. I'm sorry, but you need to reread my post, as you have misinterpreted it. I'm not playing the race card. I'm playing ANY card which slaps an entire CLASS of people down in a losing pot.

Merriam Webster-referenced definition on Wikipedia: "Bigotry is the state of mind of a "bigot", a person obstinately or intolerantly devoted to his or her own opinions and prejudices, especially one who exhibits intolerance or animosity toward members of a group. Bigotry may be based on real or perceived characteristics, including sex, sexual orientation, gender identity, race, ethnicity, nationality, region, language, religious or spiritual belief, personal habits, political alignment, age, economic status or disability."

I didn't say that someone who simply expresses an opinion about overeating is a bigot, but some of the more vicious and conclusionary statements in this thread fall under the preceding definition. What bothers me is the delusion that people mean well when they are just being mean.

I respect you, as well, for quitting smoking, a great accomplishment, but you did that when YOU were ready. We ALL have winning and losing hands we are dealt, but everyone has to play their own game in their own time. We cannot force our personal deadlines on others.

Again, that wasn't my point. My point is that everyone has a right to represent themselves on this board with dignity and without intolerance.

[Wakeup]

Originally Posted by Fancyinheels

My point is that everyone has a right to represent themselves on this board with dignity and without intolerance.

I don't know which Interwebs you're living on...

You now the best way to get rid of people who are bigots about fat? Get rid of fat people...see how simple that is?

Get it through your heads people...you're fat...and you CAN help it...I'll save my sympathy and tolerance for people who can't help what they are...

[LexusLover]

Originally Posted by Fancyinheels

I'm not playing the race card.

My point is that everyone has a right to represent themselves on this board with dignity and without intolerance.

Apparently, you did not read my earlier (first?) post in this thread ...

... but leaping to the defense of addicted personalities by providing them justifications and excuses for feeding and nurturing their addiction is hardly beneficial ... or productive.

Of course it is difficult to quit eating so much and get rid of the extra pounds. It is inconvenient to daily regulate what one consumes, to seek exercise when there is an option, and to monitor blood levels to assure the adjustments are correct and working.

That is my responsibility to myself, my SO, and most importantly the community.

I'll say it again, and again, whatever you want to be and want to do I could give a rat's ass (sorry "rat" no insult intended), so long as "your" fat don't roll over the arm rest between us and prevent me from plugging in my earphones so I can hear the music of my choice or the dialogue on the news or a move of my choice. ( figuratively speaking of course).

When "your" fat starts costing me and requiring me to start "accommodating" ... "your" fat ... then "we" have a problem. Period.

Just like "we" had a problem when my smoke drifted over into "your" face and "you" didn't smoke!

By-the-way, where were you when folks were trying to tattoo me with the "LE" label ... (and some still do) ... much more dangerous on this board than calling someone out for being "fat" ....

... "ole champion" of the "anti-bigotry league"?

I have never .. never ... suggested that fat people ought not to be able to post, advertise, provide, and/or otherwise engage in discourse with each other or nonfat people. You must be talking of some other "bigot" rather than me. Like I suggested: Give it a rest with the "card" playing of any deck.

[Fancyinheels]

Originally Posted by LexusLover

Apparently, you did not read my earlier (first?) post in this thread ...

... but leaping to the defense of addicted personalities by providing them justifications and excuses for feeding and nurturing their addiction is hardly beneficial ... or productive.

Of course it is difficult to quit eating so much and get rid of the extra pounds. It is inconvenient to daily regulate what one consumes, to seek exercise when there is an option, and to monitor blood levels to assure the adjustments are correct and working.

That is my responsibility to myself, my SO, and most importantly the community.

Not providing justifications or excuses, but I WILL NOT CONDONE the idea that being a bully and berating a person into changing his/her behavior does the least bit of good!

Why is it YOUR (or anyone's) responsibility to speak for the COMMUNITY and tell people to "quit eating so much and get rid of the extra pounds" and to "daily regulate what one consumes, to seek exercise when there is an option, and to monitor blood levels to assure the adjustments are correct and working?" But again, TOTALLY bedsides the point. Let's move on.

I can't seem to make my point PLAIN enough that this is about freedom to exist in life and ON THIS BOARD, not about personal/medical/genetic/whatever issues that relate to exterior appearance. Every provider, no matter WHAT she looks like or where she comes from, has the right to advertise here without being harshly and cruelly criticized for choices regarding her body that, unlike BBFS and the risk of transmitting STD's, have no effect on the health of the people she comes in contact with. The rest of the world belittles the Hobby, so why make ANY hobbyist needlessly feel bad about being here on ECCIE? That's what much of this thread has become about.


(Btw, I have NO clue what you're talking about with the LE label, Lexus. Must have been a thread I missed. I'm not sure what that has to do with anything. I'm not making this personal, just responding to your comments. If someone labeled you LE without proof, that would be wrong and inflammatory. Unfounded gossip is dangerous.)

[LexusLover]

Originally Posted by LexusLover

Like most "addictions" or "compulsive" behavior having someone brutally or subtly point out the product ("end result ... if you'll pardon the pun), accomplishes little in motivating the addicted or compulsive person into addressing their affliction (or offensive behavior) and it will alienate usually.

But if it makes the person doing the criticizing feel better .. like they have done something for someone else .. even though they haven't ... then I guess in the scheme of things some good has been accomplished even though ineffective in improving the condition

Here Fancy, just to "bring you up to speed"! My first post, I believe in this thread.

[Fancyinheels]

Originally Posted by Wakeuр

I don't know which Interwebs you're living on...

You now the best way to get rid of people who are bigots about fat? Get rid of fat people...see how simple that is?

Get it through your heads people...you're fat...and you CAN help it...I'll save my sympathy and tolerance for people who can't help what they are...

Darling Wakeup....if we want to get rid of the numerous opinions on here that proclaim you a Drama King who royally stirs up the populace, do we get rid of you first?

But then it would be so....quiet.I suggest we all go to Pappassitos for nachos.

[Fancyinheels]

Originally Posted by LexusLover

Apparently, you did not read my earlier (first?) post in this thread ...

... but leaping to the defense of addicted personalities by providing them justifications and excuses for feeding and nurturing their addiction is hardly beneficial ... or productive.

Of course it is difficult to quit eating so much and get rid of the extra pounds. It is inconvenient to daily regulate what one consumes, to seek exercise when there is an option, and to monitor blood levels to assure the adjustments are correct and working.

That is my responsibility to myself, my SO, and most importantly the community.

I'll say it again, and again, whatever you want to be and want to do I could give a rat's ass (sorry "rat" no insult intended), so long as "your" fat don't roll over the arm rest between us and prevent me from plugging in my earphones so I can hear the music of my choice or the dialogue on the news or a move of my choice. ( figuratively speaking of course).

When "your" fat starts costing me and requiring me to start "accommodating" ... "your" fat ... then "we" have a problem. Period.

Just like "we" had a problem when my smoke drifted over into "your" face and "you" didn't smoke!

By-the-way, where were you when folks were trying to tattoo me with the "LE" label ... (and some still do) ... much more dangerous on this board than calling someone out for being "fat" ....

... "ole champion" of the "anti-bigotry league"?

I have never .. never ... suggested that fat people ought not to be able to post, advertise, provide, and/or otherwise engage in discourse with each other or nonfat people. You must be talking of some other "bigot" rather than me. Like I suggested: Give it a rest with the "card" playing of any deck.

You went back and added that last part after my comments. Good save. I never called you, or anyone, a bigot, sweetie, just indicated that some opinions expressed here certainly sounded bigoted. The old "walks like a duck, quacks like a duck, must be a duck" isn't always conclusive, however. (AFLAC!)

But heck, no, not giving up my deck. I like playing cards, particularly Strip Poker.

[LexusLover]

Originally Posted by Fancyinheels

Darling Wakeup....if we want to get rid of the numerous opinions on here that proclaim you a Drama King who royally stirs up the populace, do we get rid of you first?

But then it would be so....quiet.I suggest we all go to Pappassitos for nachos.

Now who is "bigotry-ing" according to Merriam.

I would really rather do something else besides re-read all of WU's posts in this thread, but I do not recall him advocating the banning of fat people from posting ... on the board .... if I missed it ... then my apologies.

Psssst..... nachos are fattening!