Quote:
Originally Posted by pjorourke
I don't think London's approaches work here, because this is an ongoing relationship that has moved past the "paid date" stage.
Natalie, maybe what is going on here is that this is just this guy's "style" of argument -- i.e. making outrageous statements for effect. I've used the technique myself, but usually laced with humor. If thats the case, play back at him in the same style, but reverse politics. If necessary, you can watch Keith Obermann for pointers. (But don't watch too much -- he can cause brain damage.  ) |
Sorry for my asking, but how can a client like this can get "way past the paid date stage" in the first place, except the provider is a weak person with no character OR/AND extremely unprofessional? Did she need the money so urgent she had to screw someone like that :-) No offense , it happens......I admit to have done so too, but i never complained afterwards :-) . But doing things and then complaining afterwards is a)unprofessional and b) shows a lack of character in my opinion.If a person does not have opinions i value a person of character would talk about that BEFORE entering such a stage. If i don`t know someone profoundly enough, he never enters "past the date stage" in my life. A professional escort is not a regular gal nor should she ever behave like one. We have to see the consequences BEFORE we do stuff. I do not believe this guy was a tame sheep before he entered "past the date stage" Or the escort just is too superficial to know who he is? I do see looking at $$ as a good thing, and usually you should never discuss politics, their marriage and some other offensive things just to be on the safe side. (do i do that? no? but i am a different piece of cake anyway. And most of the time my comments are so offensive and funny clients come back for more. ha.)
But what happened here is a typical "woman being too weak and then not able to deal with the consequences". If she let it that far and he is offensive then he was offensive before as well. So - either drop him and warn him why (after all its a client and not a lover and unless she is broke and must corrupe herself to do anything for $$ then she has this choice)
or continue and be offended and discuss the matter in a good way. Being offended is the first way to become a "conservative". If challenging things "offend" you then you are not cut out for changing the world. Because a good mother has to change diapers too every once and a while, without being "offended". SO she raises a good kid overall. But just lack ability to deal with challenges (and political conservative people ARE a challenge, racists even more) and call it offensive makes her miss out on a good thing, which is the opportunity to TALK to someone like that and engage in a discussion. A true and honest and convincing discussion. Maybe she lacks the skills to challenge people and her arguments are not good enough. But to simply be "offended" and tell the guy to "stop talking like that" is childish and immature. It does not solve poitical issues or problems or change opinions on racism by simply "closing your eyes and your ears" and pretend you never hear it. Being offended is closing yourself from Reality. (Gosh it sounds really housewifey to be offended....;-)....as if someone shows a nipple in public and you start screaming hystrionically :-)...). you have to find out WHY he talks like that. What is his motivation? Then take it from there. Dive deeper. Into his mind and take it from there. Grab him at his balls . And make HIM think.
I agree with people not being surrounded by like-minded spirits all the time. (Hell yeah, i am polamorous in my private life and i have hardly met an escort AND/OR a client ever being the same - so if i was wanting to be surrounded by political activits like me i would have to change my profession pretty fast :-) (giggle).
But if you like to play with fire you have to be able to deal with the consequences. Guy likes to play rough? Don`t be offended. Being offended is the first way to avoid discussion! I have many people in my life who have different viewpoints on politics and other matters and it is a fruitful discussion most of the time and i think you need to continue to discuss matters with people who DO NOT share your opinion to be heard and reach acceptance and understanding.
If this woman cannot handle this without being offended, then a) she lacks skills of discussion and is an unprofessional escort and should admit she found her match and pay him for a change :-) because it looks to me like he is servicing her and plays HER like a piano when it should be the other way round or b) she is not smart enough to conter his beliefs in a matter that will certainly make him think. If people like to provoke they do like to do that in an enviroment where they KNOW for sure people will get offended and he will get a kick out. So - girlie reacts offended - he gets his kick (Thats the same with married guys having secret unpaid lovers.....without monogamous hypocrites secretely wishing a guy would get a divorce because the new lover is so much better/ more attractive and whatnot as oppose to the wife - the guy would not continue to proof the secret lover wrong and offend her - story continues til neverend - AND the guy gets his ego stroked all the time!! What heavenly feeling to have someone proof her worth to you :-)...til one of them smartens up and leaves the game...or people find their match). Other men like to date prudish women for example and turn them into whores. Or vice versa. Its the "offense" or the likelihood of corrupting a person that gives people like that a thrill. Its a POWER GAME! It means he is the top dog because you play by HIS RULES, his marriage and his racism. HE IS POWERFUL! You are catering to his needs of feeling powerful...Why does he need to feel powerful? Take it from there and OFFEDN him for a change by doing something UNEXPECTED!! Something OUT OF HIS LEAGUE! Being offended is as easy as being a submissive secret lover or a "prude turned whore". Its HIS GAME, not yours. Change the game! Be in control.
Now, an escort has to be able to handle such things. If she can`t - admit to have reached your professional height and the end of your courtesan skills and give the client to someone else. A psychotherapist would do that, and is encouraged to do so, if he can`t handle a client. Because after all - we are serving professionals - and clients pay to learn from us and not the other way round. If i found my match - i cannot ask for money in the first place, if a client plays me like a piano :-)).
So - if you play with the devil you better play it right. Or you get a character , admit you can`t play and quit the game. That is what i would do. Would i date or have a Nazi as client? It depends on him being open for discussion and change. Not taking a Nazi in the first place might make you miss a change to challenge him for the good. (Hell i even screwed a mormon in my private life....not so long ago....:-)....I wasn`t offended and HE wanted sex ;-).....)
Or third option: hand the guy over to me, i do him for free (intellectually) and return him as a tame well behaved sheep :-) who will be a radically left intellectual by then . jajajajajajajaja. I`m THAT good. Believe me!
