need opinions

[Lana Warren]

Hawk,
At this point, it doesn't matter if she is or isn't in the hobby! The fact now is you are hurting and only you can get over this! Not for sure on your age, but when we're young, we think with our hearts! The more mature we become, the more we think with our heads! We're pulling for you.......keep us posted!

[DFW5Traveler]

I've met a woman who provides that could easily have me. I only hope that she is just playing a role and not really interested. If she isn't pretending, I believe I may never know unless she came out and said something. I don't ever want to be cast out for having unwanted feelings, so I keep my mouth shut and limit exposure.

[johnson]

Hawk I have been there and it did not work. I also knew the odds but a special lady who I met as provider turned into something special for me. While it lasted it was great and when she headed somewhere else I hurt and hurt. I was 55 and she was in her 40's. We both got away from the business while we were involved. I spent a lot of money and now all I have are some great memories. Would I do it again, hell yes. Would I take her back, yes. Know the risks and if you can't stand the pain of a failed relationship that may not work because of where it started don't do it. As for me I still care for my lady but it was not meant to be. The same thing may have happened even if we first met under other circumstances. Those special feelings we get with a special person cause us to do stupid things and take risks but love is not always a rational thing.

[hwygnome]

I say the following based on less than ideal information.

Hawk on one hand it almost sounds like the 7 year itch or at least someone has found that the thrill has turned into the drill and hopefully not headed for ill times. Given your two statements it sounds as though the two of you have been together a number of years and what you have is a normal aging of the relationship that you need to get past to keep it together or to part ways so each of you can go on your separate ways.

The hard part is that both of you had been in this hobby and perhaps one of you has come back. But even if not, it is always hard to not bring up the past and this kind of past is really hard hitting when it gets tossed into someones face making things far worse than just normal tossing of ones past into the current mix.

If she has lied to you about how she feels just so she can have a comfortable life than you just need figure out what you need to do. Which might include taking your balls back so you can give them to somebody else.

[MrKlean]

Don't do it!!!!!! excuse the caps everyone DON'T DO IT!!!!!!!
Have a wonderful hour with 4 of these beautiful ladies back to back.....doessn't matter if you can't cum. You should get sucked dry anyway.
You just need to be around siome ladies for a while.
Will make you think better.
Think with your little head right now, not your heart.
If you feel the same after 4 of Eccie's beautiful ladies.....then restart another thread

[hotlips_houlihan]

I don't know why it's so hard for me to understand folks getting caught up with feelings in this business. It's just a line one should not cross. I don't get it.

[Randy4Candy]

Hmmm, lied, provided while "retired," moved on when things maybe got a little "boring" (read as: normal and day-to-day).....hell, man, this ain't freaking High School. Get a grip, face the facts and just understand that this gal's plan is it's all about HER and when it's not, it's on the the next guy (victim?!?). There are absolutely no mitigating circumstances here. You took your hit (financially and emotionally) get on with your life and stay away from her and her manipulations.

There are some pretty good ladies - up to a point - who provide. You just passed that point. The nature of the hobby makes it virtually impossible to have an ongoing emotionally satisfying relationship without both parties making some sacrifices that many, many people don't think are worth it.

[crashkopf]

As I am an emotional cripple, run away from this as fast as you can. Sure, it will hurt for a while, but in the long run YOU will be much better off. Your ' Spidey ' sense is already alerting you. Trust your warning signals. Breathe. And live another day.

[elgato111]

I agree with just about all that has been said, this is a business for the provider and we are clients only. Yes you can form an attachment to a provider over time but it is not wise to think that you are the only one she tells "I love you". Trust me, she loves everyone she sees cause they help her pay all her bills. God, I would love them all if they paid me! LOL!!

Do as others said, move on to other fine ladies who will help you forget about her and enjoy the variety man.

[TheHorseTrainer]

I'm not telling ANYONE I love them unless I truly mean it hobby or not....

I might say "I luv you" but I mean that as in you are a special person to me and always will be!

BTW R4C = I lubba lubba ya my friend!

No matter if it's hobby or not .. "love" will not work with out complete honesty in the long run!

[PODarkness]

OK, I reread the OPs posts twice, and he never said she was working behind his back. In fact, he is sure she is not. Some of the posts seem off point in this regard.

What was not said was how long they've been in the relationship, and, other than the sex, why he thinks her feelings are not genuine. Only that he has doubts, and some of them come from her being "excellent at what she does".

The same thing happens to many couples that have no knowledge of our hobby. The fact that she used to be in the hobby is putting extra doubt in his mind, but nobody, including the OP, is able to say if that actually has bearing on the problem.

Could it be that she's got wind of the fact that he's back in the hobby?

There's kids involved, so "cut n run" is probably not the best advice. Get some professional counseling, with her if possible.

Funny how the tide turns. Posts by providers asking if a relationship is possible for them get very different answers than these. I wonder why?

[Fort Worth Punk]

Originally Posted by hotlips_houlihan

I don't know why it's so hard for me to understand folks getting caught up with feelings in this business. It's just a line one should not cross. I don't get it.

I fell in love once, and we met in the hobby. But it had nothing to do with the sex. In fact, we only had one session. Everything else was off the clock.

In the end I hurt her, yet I was the one who ended up taking the most damage. Knowing what I know now I had a chance to get both of us out of the hobby and we might have been able to make it work. I didn't and regret it every single day.

[ShysterJon]

Originally Posted by Gonzo DFW

History is chocked with tales of courtesans who not only married their "clients," but remained faithful to those marriages/relationships. That having been said, the success of these types of relationships obviously is rare, very rare.

This post has stuck in my mind since I read it six days ago. (Of course, I have a tiny brain and it doesn't take much to fill it. Haha.)

I'm not sure what you're referring to regarding incidents in history of clients marrying courtesans, and I'm not convinced that such tales have any application in the 21st Century. We don't live in the Ancient Roman Empire, ya know.

But I can say this: I've known hundreds of providers in my life. I've known maybe a dozen really well. I count among my best friends three former providers, and two of them entered into loving relationships with former clients, and both times it ended disasterously.

I asked one of those girls about her experiences. She said what I said before: She's known of a number of providers who made a go of a relationship with a former client, and not one turned out well. She said something rather wise: "Cheaters will always be cheaters, and providers can never be trusted." I don't think she said this in a mean way about providers. It's just that when things get tough in a relationship -- which happens in every relationship -- providers tend to fall back on old habits and methods to survive. When I was in such a relationship and I got in an argument with my beloved, she would assert her independence by running a BP ad or calling old clients. This is an approach to conflict unfamiliar to civilian girls, and one which can implode a relationship.

Of course, I'm not saying the girl is always at fault for such a relationship not working. It's quite possible that the guy is usually responsible. I consider myself fairly open-minded, but I'll admit it was tough when my beloved told me she started out seeing eight clients a day and had had more than a hundred sexual partners before we got involved (she was only 21 years old). I'm sure that was something buried deep in the recesses of my brain when I pondered whether to leave my wife for the girl.

[daltxm4f]

Speaking from experience. There are some people on this planet that are narcissist. Now some people that have never run into a this type of person and have no idea what to expect and get taken advantage of. Imagine there are people out there that will lie, steal, cheat, and destroy without any conscious about it. It is only about themselves and what they want or can get from you. If you get into a relationship with one unguarded it can destroy you. Run, not walk away.