A Safe Place To Hijack, BS and to be Nonsensical

[boardman]

Elevator Fun

1. Make race car noises when anyone gets on or off.
2. Blow your nose and offer to show the contents of your kleenex to other passengers.
3. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: Shut up, dammit, all of you just shut UP!
4. Whistle the first seven notes of It's a Small World incessantly.
5. Sell Girl Scout cookies.
6. On a long ride, sway side to side at the natural frequency of the elevator.
7. Shave.
8. Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside ask: Got enough air in there?
9. Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours upside-down.
10. Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.
11. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.
12. Lean over to another passenger and whisper: Noogie patrol coming!
13. Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call you Admiral.
14. On the highest floor, hold the door open and demand that it stay open until you hear the penny you dropped down the shaft go plink at the bottom.
15. Do Tai Chi exercises.
16. Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a while, and then announce: I've got new socks on!
17. When at least 8 people have boarded, moan from the back: Oh, not now, damn motion sickness!
18. Give religious tracts to each passenger.
19. Meow occassionally.
20. Keep bumping into the "Door Open" button when the doors begin to close.
21. (If a glass elevator) Scream in torture staring at the people outside with your face pressed against the glass.
22. Jump up and down consistently.
23. When a person tries to push a button, smack their hand giving them an angry look, and press it for them.
24. Press the "Emergency" button.
25. Twitch and stutter your words.
26. When the doors open, scream at the onboarding passengers.
27. Unsuccessfully keep tying your shoelaces and bump yourself into people as much as you can.
28. (If elevator is equipped with music) Start silently humming the song, then gradually break into a broadway show.
29. Press all buttons before leaving the elevator.
30. Ask people they would like to pose in your "website".

[Brooke Wilde]

Shouldn't 48 really be 48 & 49? I'm just ask'en

48. Finish the 99 bottles of beer song.Leave your turn signal on for fifty miles.

[Brooke Wilde]

I'm going to print this and hang it in my elevator. I wonder how long management will let it stay up for?

Originally Posted by boardman

Elevator Fun

1. Make race car noises when anyone gets on or off.
2. Blow your nose and offer to show the contents of your kleenex to other passengers.
3. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: Shut up, dammit, all of you just shut UP!
4. Whistle the first seven notes of It's a Small World incessantly.
5. Sell Girl Scout cookies.
6. On a long ride, sway side to side at the natural frequency of the elevator.
7. Shave.
8. Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside ask: Got enough air in there?
9. Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours upside-down.
10. Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.
11. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.
12. Lean over to another passenger and whisper: Noogie patrol coming!
13. Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call you Admiral.
14. On the highest floor, hold the door open and demand that it stay open until you hear the penny you dropped down the shaft go plink at the bottom.
15. Do Tai Chi exercises.
16. Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a while, and then announce: I've got new socks on!
17. When at least 8 people have boarded, moan from the back: Oh, not now, damn motion sickness!
18. Give religious tracts to each passenger.
19. Meow occassionally.
20. Keep bumping into the "Door Open" button when the doors begin to close.
21. (If a glass elevator) Scream in torture staring at the people outside with your face pressed against the glass.
22. Jump up and down consistently.
23. When a person tries to push a button, smack their hand giving them an angry look, and press it for them.
24. Press the "Emergency" button.
25. Twitch and stutter your words.
26. When the doors open, scream at the onboarding passengers.
27. Unsuccessfully keep tying your shoelaces and bump yourself into people as much as you can.
28. (If elevator is equipped with music) Start silently humming the song, then gradually break into a broadway show.
29. Press all buttons before leaving the elevator.
30. Ask people they would like to pose in your "website".

[boardman]

Originally Posted by Brooke Wild

Shouldn't 48 really be 48 & 49? I'm just ask'en

48. Finish the 99 bottles of beer song.Leave your turn signal on for fifty miles.

Annoying, Huh?

[boardman]

Things You May Have Not Known
1. It is impossible to lick your elbow.
2. A crocodile can't stick its tongue out.
3. A shrimp's heart is in their head.
4. Your heart stops for a mili-second when you sneeze.
5. In a study of 200,000 ostriches over a period of 80 years, no one reported a single case where an ostrich buried its head in the sand (or attempted to do so - apart from Bones).
6. It is physically impossible for pigs to look up into the sky.
7. A pregnant goldfish is called a twit.
8. More than 50% of the people in the world have never made or received a telephone call.
9. Rats and horses can't vomit.
10. "Sixth sick sheik's sixth sheep's sick" is said to be the toughest tongue twister in the English language.
11. If you sneeze too hard, you can fracture a rib.
12. If you try to suppress a sneeze, you can rupture a blood vessel in your head or neck and die.
13. If you keep your eyes open by force when you sneeze, they can pop out.
14. Rats multiply so quickly that in 18 months, two rats could have over million descendants.
15. Wearing headphones for just an hour will increase the bacteria in your ear by 700 times.
16. If the U.S. government has no knowledge of aliens, then why does Title 14, Section 1211 of the Code of Federal Regulations, implemented on July 16, 1969, make it illegal for U.S. citizens to have any contact with extraterrestrials or their vehicles?
17. In every episode of Seinfeld there is a Superman somewhere.
18. The cigarette lighter was invented before the match.
19. Thirty-five percent of the people who use personal ads for dating are already married.
20. A duck's quack doesn't echo, and no one knows why.
21. 23% of all photocopier faults worldwide are caused by people sitting on them and photocopying their butts.
22. Most lipstick contains fish scales.
23. Cat's urine glows under a black-light.
24. Like fingerprints, everyone's tongue print is different.
25. Over 75% of people who read this will try to lick their elbow.

[Hot to Trot Daphne]

Originally Posted by boardman

4. Your heart stops for a mili-second when you sneeze.

okay I knew this one because I have a friend who's Muslim that would say “Yarhamuk Allaah (may Allaah have mercy on you)." when someone sneezed, just as we say "God bless you." Asked him why, and that's what he told me. Did a little research, every religion (except satanism) has a sneezing phrase.

[Brooke Wilde]

Originally Posted by boardman

Annoying, Huh?

Nothing you do annoys me

[Guest030617]

BM....i hate you....fyi, i did get close to licking my elbow




long asssss tongue

[Brooke Wilde]

Originally Posted by boardman

Things You May Have Not Known
1. It is impossible to lick your elbow.

25. Over 75% of people who read this will try to lick their elbow.

I am part of that 75% and I was unable to lick my elbow.

[Hot to Trot Daphne]

Originally Posted by Brooke Wild

I am part of that 75% and I was unable to lick my elbow.

+1

[Brooke Wilde]

Can double jointed people lick their elbow?

[notanewbie]

Originally Posted by babydollsnow

BM....i hate you....fyi, i did get close to licking my elbow




long asssss tongue

I am planning how are session will play out, it just got more interesting for both of us.

[Guest030617]

if this looks familiar.....DONT CALL ME

[Brooke Wilde]

Snow ... I want to see a picture of you trying to lick your elbow ... I bet it would look hot!!!

[Brooke Wilde]

Damn … this is where strippers go to buy cars? Poor strippers ... Literally.

http://houston.backpage.com/Strippers/ladiesauto-financing-now-available-56/9479220

http://standardautosales.com/