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Roman Polanski · 11-23-2010, 09:23 PM

Max, your full of wisdom. Great thread, great advise.

MaxiMilyen · 11-23-2010, 11:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Roman Polanski

Max, your full of wisdom. Great thread, great advise.

Thanks, RP. I guess having fallen in love a time or two has given some perspective on the subject. I feel very lucky to have experienced the love I have in the past and the love of those around me now. Hopefully, I've learned to take care with the feelings of those who feel for me as I do for them. Relationships are complicated as we all know.

I didn't mean to hijack or come across as the Love Guru. I will always have more to learn.

jac01 · 11-24-2010, 01:11 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by M A X

If ya don't have trust, can you really have love? We all take a chance when we give our heart to another. You may get hosed or it may turn out to be your "happily ever after". We don't get guarantees or a warranty with relationships no matter what walk of life we come from or meet in, whether it be friendships or lovers.

I do trust her, with my life and that isn't hyperbole. Everything I have in my life she could potentially destroy. She knows enough about me that she could crush me under her heel and ruin me if she chose to. She has seen me at some extremely vulnerable moments. But she earned my trust from the amzing connection we have made over the past few months. I've never asked her, but she has shared with me details about herself and her life that I can't imagine that she would share with other clients and by doing so has placed a great deal of trust in me.

Max, this whole situation is a bit complicated. I'd love to get a woman's opinion. If you'd send me a PM, I'll let you know more details.

sky_wire · 11-24-2010, 06:37 AM

I've fallen for 75% of every AMP girl, 95% of every busty girl, and 100% of every busty AMP girl I've seen.

TAHGorch · 11-24-2010, 05:05 PM

'Tis better to have loved and lost Than never to have loved at all. Alfred Lord Tennyson

lilsmurf · 11-24-2010, 05:46 PM

I've fallen for all of them,
But I'm just a horny Motherfucker.

69er · 11-25-2010, 06:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by M A X

If ya don't have trust, can you really have love? We all take a chance when we give our heart to another. You may get hosed or it may turn out to be your "happily ever after". We don't get guarantees or a warranty with relationships no matter what walk of life we come from or meet in, whether it be friendships or lovers.

Let me ask you guys this....how do you know the "ladies in question" are not gonna think that you are just a smooth operator looking to get some free "time"? Keep in mind that the ladies might also have reservations about your motives. I'm just sayin'.

Best of luck to all those who find themselves, smitten, infatuated, or just downright in love.

Max has the winning answer. I think both sides need to go into this, with their eyes open. A discussion on expectations needs to be a part of this. I can see that the ladies should have as many worries of "motives", as do the gents.

When I did this, we decided that the relationship would move from provider/client to girlfriend/boyfriend. I might pay for a dinner and movie, but that would be pretty normal for a boyfriend to do. She even treated me on a number of occasions. I did buy her a really nice Christmas gift, but it was something that I knew she was interested in, and not something she expected me to buy her. I bought it because it made me feel good to give it to her! I wasn't looking for anything in return... well... that's not quite true, as I was looking for her happiness, which made me happy, but I think that is the true spirit of a gift.

daaaaaman · 11-25-2010, 07:00 PM

I have fallen in love with every provider I have ever seen, for the entire hour

TxTraveller · 11-26-2010, 08:57 PM

Hmmmmm.... there have been one or two where I'd have to say that I could have fallen for them...including one I see on occasion.... Interesting thing is... that I've had experiences in the civvie world and provider world, and I'd just say that "people are people"... and I've rarely been burned... but on occasion that does happen..... Anyway, that's not nec. what I'm out looking for, but as I read earlier.... sometimes things just happen...

pete'smills · 11-27-2010, 03:49 PM

Take care all. I can't take the undertow of sadness that comes with the hobby. Hope you all find what you are looking for. My emotions are not built like you guys. Stay safe, I didn't.

Roman Polanski · 11-27-2010, 07:07 PM

Pete, take a short vacation, clear your head, we have all been there. Some of us more than once. This is a very emotional hobby. Take care.

Torito · 11-27-2010, 07:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Roman Polanski

Pete, take a short vacation, clear your head, we have all been there. Some of us more than once. This is a very emotional hobby. Take care.

I agree. Take time to decide if you can handle this. Or learn how to handle it, if you desire. I have been bitten several times. First one was over 20 years ago. It was somewhat mutual, but more on my part. It almost destroyed me. I took a long look at myself and went through a long learning process.

Since then, have I done it again? Yes, but with caution. Have dated a few. A couple of them seriously. Could have married them. Stayed calm, looked at the most likely outcome, and moved on down the road. Strangely, we are still friends. Just like in real life. The line between R/L and hobby is very fuzzy.....if I allow it to be.

Torito

OldTimeBuddie · 11-27-2010, 07:51 PM

I have not "fallen for" a provider, but have developed deep relationships with a select few. As some of you who know me may know, I walked my then-squeeze 'Tiffany' down the aisle and gave her away as if I was her father (she wouldn't ever call me 'Daddy' during, but anyway...) And 'curvy Jamie' and I not only play, but are friends who can go hang out at the bar, or stay in and watch TV -- I've slept over with nothing happening (or expected) but those are some of the best nights' sleep I get (I suffer from chronic insomnia.) And then, there's Lisa-Mom, who is the only one who ever got to meet my kids -- the "Mom" was an addition by my then 5 y.o. (this was, of course, after the divorce.) The Bear is now 19. but L-M and I still talk regularly.

What made those work was a clear understanding that play was play (and so compensated) but hang out was hang out, and that was at will, and we were always certain which was which. That's what I look for...

That's not to say that sometimes unscheduled uncompensated play didn't/doesn't happen, but very much the exception rather than the rule, and was/is always initiated by whichever her is involved. But I generally need an emotional connection of some sort to fully enjoy the experience.

Roman Polanski · 11-27-2010, 09:39 PM

OTB, very wise words, the understanding of play was play and so compensated. I think that sometimes we think or hope that more exists between the two people than that is really there. At times it may be hard to distinguish between fantasy and reality.

OldTimeBuddie · 11-27-2010, 09:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Roman Polanski

OTB, very wise words, the understanding of play was play and so compensated. I think that sometimes we think or hope that more exists between the two people than that is really there. At times it may be hard to distinguish between fantasy and reality.

Is one of the ways I live my relationships (of any sort): "There is no such thing as too much communication."

Now, some providers aren't comfortable with that level of honesty and emotional intimacy, which is okay -- we can occasionally play, but you're not likely to become a regular (I really tend to one at a time,) but I'm sure you can find others that are only interested in another notch in the bedpost.

For me, I like to be friends with whomever I'm schtuping. And if that person is a professional, I have no problem compensating them for *that*, but that's not all there is to us, if it's working right.