the hobby in pop culture (your opinion)

[JMStryker]

Okay, this is more for the ladies if anything but I would love feedback nonetheless. I believe we tackled this topic before on the old boards but one of our more recent topics on atfs gave me an idea for a narrative. So the question is, with the release of the gfe film featuring sasha grey and other noteworthy media attempts at defining the hobby, what would your take be? If they brought you on as a consultant, what you advise or change?

[trekker]

There are so many different ways that the business is conducted and most are left out of the portrayals. I didn't see the movie you mention, but nearly all the portrayals I've seen on TV and in the movies are of either pimped-out streetwalkers or very highly organized agencies with an Asian-style MP thrown in now and then. The indy seems to be totally ignored.

[April Showers]

I think maybe one of the reasons that Hollywood seems to pass on the "middle of the road" indy is because for most of us our lives just aren't glamorous or down trodden enough for the big screen.

They like the HDH whose got a client list full of high profile and powerful men. Here's a character that oozes with drama and intrigue. She often lives in a lux Manhattan highrise or beautiful L.A. home on a hill overlooking the city.

If not an HDH then they center on a SW junkie who is under the control of a sadistic pimp. Her life is shit, her kids have been taken from her and she is on the edge of death. Oh and they all live in or near crack houses. Ok one exception pops to mind... Pretty Woman. She was an indy SW not on drugs and no kids but she was still portrayed as someone who needed to be saved from the life she was living.

In both scenarios though moviemakers want show the viewer the "seedy underworld" of prostitution.

Know what kind of movie about providers I would like to see? A comedy.

Take a group of us "middle of the road" indys and show how we manage to juggle our work and our private lives. We all have a funny story or two to share that's for sure. And for goodness sake.... don't portray our lives as seedy! We are just like everyone else... We have bills to pay, kids to raise, parent/teacher meeting to attend.

How about a scene where you have this woman sitting at her computer (in her middle class suburban house) in her pj's answering emails and confirming her appointment for the day while her well adjusted 2.5 kids are sitting at the breakfast table arguing over the last pancake?

Cut to her trying to get ready for her appointment while the kids are playing around instead of getting dressed for school. She keeps having to stop to find their shoes or bookbags but she finally gets them out the door and on the bus. Now she has 15 minutes to get herself out the door and over to the hotel where she is meeting her client.

Cut to her sitting on the edge of the bed in the room at the Holiday Inn flipping through the channels waiting for her client who is now 15 minutes late (good thing she rushed, right?). She's never met with him before today but his ref's say "He's a nice guy" Finally there's a knock on the door and she opens it to find a short bald guy with a big tummy and it turns out, he is in fact a "nice guy" with one exception..... He wants her to use a strap-on on him while he wears his pretty pink tutu! So with a little giggle to herself she straps it on.... end scene.

[Jacquie]

You know what I don't want to see in mainstream media? Films about prostitution.

Sure, I like Diary of a Call Girl, because it's pretty close to what my life consists of. The show provided a good depiction of an educated woman who loved fucking and getting paid for it. The books are decently similar to a lot of the trials and errors I've come into contact with, because it's based off of a real person, not some writer with no life experience.

[April Showers]

Originally Posted by Jacquie

You know what I don't want to see in mainstream media? Films about prostitution.

It's there though and has been since the era of the silent film and it's there to stay.

I also think more accurate portrayals should be put out there. People should know that we are just like everyone else who provides a needed and sought after service. They should know that not all of us are drug addicted SW's with pimps.

This shouldn't have to be an illegal, underground proffession. I think education and acceptance of the public through the media is one way to go about dis-spelling the stereotypes that surround us.

[ClairJordan]

I agree, and, as a freelance writer, have put my money where my mouth is (so to speak). I created a series around a group of friends, ala Sex in the City, who were all in the adult biz in some form or another, show supported each other and were a family. My goal was to get the series on air with either Showtime or HBO. I actually had quite a ride, and worked with Showtime for 8 months. Alas, they chose 'Diary' over my series, which is still painful for me to watch, as you can understand.

I thought it very important to educate the general public that this buisness can be, and often is, a professional and lifestyle choice. That mature women CHOOSE to make their living this way, CHOOSE to be of service to kind, generous gentlemen the way the pre-Christian Temple Goddesses did in the cradle of western civilization (for reading materials, The Chalice and the Blade by Rianne Eisler is the best research, IMO).

Much focus has been spent on young girls being forced into the sex business against their will, and that is a tragedy in itself that I am very glad to see LE focusing on eliminating as much as possible; or the sex biz as the only option for under-educated women with substance abuse issues. Those things exist, no doubt. But there are many, many mature women, esp. in the Internet age, who have made a concious, well-thought out decision to participate in the sex industry as a lifestyle and professional choice, to stay safe and focused and treat it like a business.

I have met several in New Orleans!

Work hard, play hard, right?
Just save your money, ladies! The years go by fast...

[DallasRain]

Originally Posted by April Showers

It's there though and has been since the era of the silent film and it's there to stay.

I also think more accurate portrayals should be put out there. People should know that we are just like everyone else who provides a needed and sought after service. They should know that not all of us are drug addicted SW's with pimps.

This shouldn't have to be an illegal, underground proffession. I think education and acceptance of the public through the media is one way to go about dis-spelling the stereotypes that surround us.

DITTO----this can be a very "clean & profitable & fun" business....but most people associate "providers" as druggies/theives/and scraggley pimpedout girls who are abused

[London Rayne]

I liked "Diary of a Call Girl" much better. No way in hell are my dates as boring as "GFE" lol. She also did not seem to do anything but that. Most of us are moms, students, have other jobs, etc. She was a provider with a boyfriend just out to make as much as she could, thinking it would be enough to retire. That's always the picture they paint, and it's so far from reality.

I would also never try and have a boyfriend while doing this, or fall for a client the way she does in the end. All in all, I thought it was "OK" maybe for NYC escorts, but it does not much apply to my lifestyle.

[JMStryker]

Clair, do you have a pilot that we can check out? I would love to see that, and help write if you don't mind.

[Jacquie]

I think providing is often safer health wise than doing what some of my girl friends do with random guys they meet in bars. A lot of the guys are married... and those are men with something to lose if they were carrying around a disease. 99% of my play partners do mention that they are married.

I calculated out the number of people I've had sex outside the hobby. Believe it or not, it's only 15. As for my provider number, I could never begin to guess. I maintain a pretty conservative facade generally-speaking, as I'm sure most of you do. I think it's fun to have a secret lifestyle that I get to enjoy. It translates well as I've rarely drawn attention to myself when finding incalls. Sometimes, they remember my face, but they remember my cover story more. And, I don't draw much attention to what's actually going on BCD. When you come dressed as far from sexy as possible with an out of state ID, no one's raising eyebrows. Even if they are, fuck 'em.

I listen to all the things that my male friends say about sex industry workers... and they're so far from knowing what they are talking about-- that's a good thing. But, sometimes, I can't help but stand up for ladies. Arguments such as, "Get a job" come up... and I'm thinking, "Why bother unless you're passionate about that job when you could get much more for something EVERYONE (except maybe your wives) is passionate about?"

/rant

[ClairJordan]

Originally Posted by JMStryker

Clair, do you have a pilot that we can check out? I would love to see that, and help write if you don't mind.

Never quite got that far, unfortunatly. 4 or 5 creative stages, many scripts, break it down, recreate it...it's a frustrating business. Not that I wouldn't do it again. I was amazingly passionate about the project but the time has passed. With 'Diary', then HBO's 'Hung', they have explored the topic. At least for now.

Ya never know. I will tell you that I am ready to get back in the saddle both creatively and with production.

And getting that passion back is goooddd...