These are our representatives...

[john_galt]

Subject: PRICELESS: A DC Airport Ticket Agent




Not sure how true these are, but they made me laugh.

This is priceless funny stuff; but alas, is only a small indication of how much trouble the USis in.


A DC airport ticket agent offers some examples of 'why' our country is in trouble:

1. I had a New Hampshire Congresswoman (Carol Shea-Porter) ask for an aisle seat so that her hair wouldn't get messed up by being near the window. (On an airplane!)

2. I got a call from a Kansas Congressman's (Moore) staffer (Howard Bauleke), who wanted to go to Capetown. I started to explain the length of the flight and the passport information, and then he interrupted me with, ''I'm not trying to make you look stupid, but Capetown is in Massachusetts ..''

Without trying to make him look stupid, I calmly explained, ''Cape Cod is in Massachusetts , Capetown is in Africa ''

his response -- click.

3. A senior Vermont Congressman (Bernie Sanders) called, furious about a Florida package we did. I asked what was wrong with the vacation in Orlando . He said he was expecting an ocean-view room. I tried t o explain that's not possible, since Orlando is in the middle of the state.

He replied, 'don't lie to me, I looked on the map and Florida is a very thin state!'' (OMG)

4. I got a call from a lawmaker's wife (Landra Reid) who asked, ''Is it possible to see England from Canada ?''

I said, ''No.''

She said, ''But they look so close on the map.'' (OMG, again!)

5. An aide for a cabinet member(Janet Napolitano) once called and asked if he could rent a car in Dallas . I pulled up the reservation and noticed he had only a 1-hour layover in Dallas . When I asked him why he wanted to rent a car, he said, ''I heard Dallas was a big airport, and we will need a car to drive between gates to save time.'' (Aghhhh)

6. An Illinois Congresswoman (Jan Schakowsky) called last week She needed to know how it was possible that her flight from Detroit left at 8:30 a.m., and got to Chicago at 8:33 a.m.

I explained that Michigan was an hour ahead of Illinois , but she couldn't understand the concept of time zones. Finally, I told her the plane went fast, and she bought that.

7. A New York lawmaker, (Jerrold Nadler) called and asked, ''Do airlines put your physical description on your bag so they know whose luggage belongs to whom?'' I said, 'No, why do you ask?'

He replied, ''Well, when I checked in with the airline, they put a tag on my luggage that said (FAT), and I'm overweight. I think that's very rude!''

After putting him on hold for a minute, while I looked into it. (I was dying laughing). I came back and explained the city code for Fresno , Ca. is (FAT - Fresno Air Terminal), and the airline was just putting a destination tag on his luggage.

8. A Senator John Kerry aide (Lindsay Ross) called to inquire about a trip package to Hawaii . After going over all the cost info, she asked, ''Would it be cheaper to fly to California and then take the train to Hawaii ?''

9. I just got off the phone with a freshman Congressman, Bobby Bright (D) from Ala who asked, ''How do I know which plane to get on?''

I asked him what exactly he meant, to which he replied, ''I was told my flight number is 823, but none of these planes have numbers on them.''

10. Senator Dianne Feinstein (D)
called and said, ''I need to fly to Pepsi-Cola , Florida . Do I have to get on one of those little computer planes?''

I asked if she meant fly to Pensacola , FL on a commuter plane.

She said, ''Yeah, whatever, smarty!''

11. Mary Landrieu (D) La. Senator called and had a question about the documents she needed in order to fly to China . After a lengthy discussion about passports, I reminded her that she needed a visa. 'Oh, no I don't. I've been to China many times and never had to have one of those''

I double checked and sure enough, her stay required a visa. When I told her this she said, ''Look, I've been to China four times and every time they have accepted my American Express!''

12. A New Jersey Congressman (John Adler) called to make reservations, ''I want to go from Chicago to Rhino, New York .''

I was at a loss for words. Finally, I said, ''Are you sure that's the name of the town?''

'Yes, what flights do you have?'' replied the man.

After some searching, I came back with, ''I'm sorry, sir, I've looked up every airport code in the country and can't find a rhino anywhere."

''The man retorted, ''Oh, don't be silly! Everyone knows where it is. Check your map!''

So I scoured a map of the state of New York and finally offered, ''You don't mean Buffalo , do you?''

The reply? ''Whatever! I knew it was a big animal.''

Now you know why the Government is in the shape that it's in!

Could anyone be this DUMB?

YES, THEY WALK AMONG US, ARE IN POLITICS, AND THEY CONTINUE TO BREED..

I don't write it, I just offer it for your consideration. Like manure, you just gotta spread it around.

[dirty dog]

Well it was funny but I have to question it a little since all of the people in question seem to be of one party.

[Adrielle]

Sorry, these are completely false:

http://www.snopes.com/travel/trap/congress.asp

[john_galt]

Let me tell about a true one; Corinne Brown used to be my representative from Jacksonville, FL. She was contacted by SPY magazine and asked about the ethnic cleansing in Freedonia. She condemned the ethnic cleansing and blamed George Bush (41) for not doing something about it. SPY reported the story and the fact that the country of Freedonia is from a Marx brothers movie. Brown called a press conference to refute the charge that she is an idiot. She explained that she had been briefed on BOSO NIA (phonetically) and she was thinking about BOSO NIA. She spoke for a couple of minutes until a reporter asked her if she meant Bosnia. She looked confused and finally said that you could pronounce it that way if you wanted to.
Not only was she my congressman but before that she was my academic counselor at the University of North Florida when I was taking engineering classes. Needless to say, we didn't get along at all.

Ohh, and thanks for ruining a good joke...

[dirty dog]

Damn John sorry I missed it can you reprint the "good" joke!!!!!

[kcbigpapa]

Originally Posted by john_galt

Needless to say, we didn't get along at all.

Seems you have a tendency for this occurrence. It's probably the other person's fault.

[Wizard of Ahhhhs]

Originally Posted by Adrielle

Sorry, these are completely false:

http://www.snopes.com/travel/trap/congress.asp

I love snopes..! Sorta cleans out the bullshit, doesn't it?

[Sarge]

Saw the same email years ago....only all the names were Republicans.

Thank gods for snopes. Otherwise I would believe the stories about the little girl who is still looking for her family after the tsunami, I could be a multimillionaire because Microsoft is going to send me money for every email I forward.........

[Adrielle]

Originally Posted by Wizard of Ahhhhs

I love snopes..! Sorta cleans out the bullshit, doesn't it?

Why yes, yes it does.

The only reason why I even posted the Snopes link is because there are far too many gullible people in this world. Posting something that is absolutely false, and not admitting that it is, could lead some to think it's true. And there's enough apocryphal information floating around these forums, I'm just trying to help cut down on it.

[Wizard of Ahhhhs]

Originally Posted by Adrielle

...And there's enough apocryphal information floating around these forums...

Making me pull out my Webster's now, Adrielle...

[Cheaper2buyit]

The most most funny things i have seen is when bush couldn't find the door on live tv & clinton said i never had sex with that girl wait hold on what do you mean a bj & wetting my cigar with pussy jucie is sex now thats true & funny.

[catnipdipper]

Cheaper it depends on the definition of sex ya know. What he did was not sex and I would use the same defense and for god's sake catch it in a kleenex.

[Sarge]

Didn't he say he never had "sexual relations with that woman, Ms. Lewinski."

I keep trying to use the whole "but a blowjob isn't sexual relations" line. Hasn't worked yet.

Meanwhile Europe laughs at our overly-puritanical views about anything sexual.

[BigMikeinKC]

Originally Posted by Sarge

Didn't he say he never had "sexual relations with that woman, Ms. Lewinski."

I keep trying to use the whole "but a blowjob isn't sexual relations" line. Hasn't worked yet.

Meanwhile Europe laughs at our overly-puritanical views about anything sexual.

No kidding Sarge, we are the prudes of the world.

[catnipdipper]

Big Mike I think it is gonna get worse with the C streeters in power and we will see attempts to legislate morality while decrying big intrusive govt.