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atxbrad · 11-12-2010, 05:40 PM

Post session I was laying in the bed with a provider and it was time to go, so as soon as I sat up I farted. Total accident, had no idea it was coming. I didnt miss a beat and acted like nothing happened. She asked, "Did you hear that?" To which I replied, "Hear what?". I hope she thought it was her imagination. I got dressed and left as quick as I could hoping it didnt stink.

Guest052711 · 11-12-2010, 06:52 PM

I fell off the bed on my very first appointment (which Sixx already mentioned). I laughed it off, but it actually kinda hurt. I then got locked out of his place when I had to run to my car because I forgot condoms.

One guy I saw made really funny faces, which I mistook for him somehow being in pain. I stopped in the middle of what we were doing and asked if he was okay and if I could get him some tylenol or something (what we were doing would not have even come close to warranting pain). I was embarassed for asking and I'm guessing he was embarassed too.

Haley one time knocked on someone's door and it was the wrong house. Some other guy opened the door said "this is a family residence" and slammed the door in her face. I always look at my email to double check the address the entire way up to the door and even while I knock to make sure its the right address so it doesn't happen to me.

Sexy Roxanne · 11-12-2010, 09:06 PM

I had one guy get in a car wreck right in front of my apartments, he was on the phone telling me. He shows up for the appt with a huge cut on is head and a bloody lip! I was like uhhh baby I like you a lot too but you need to go to the ER! I cleaned the cuts and put bandages an sent him on his way. I am going asume the wreck got his priorities mixed up.

Haley · 11-12-2010, 09:09 PM

Well Maddie I'm so glad that it doesn't happen to you.

It was my very 1st appointment as well, and yes I went
to the wrong house. In addition, I was so mortified when
I was leaving that I backed out of their driveway and
into their fence...

then I knocked over their mail box...

oopsy...

Sexy Roxanne · 11-12-2010, 09:09 PM

I also once was doing the NURU and my friend and I were getting into it a little to much and I went to slide a bit harder than normal and slide right of the bed, hit my dresser and knocked my lamp on my head. My friend and I almost pissed ourselves laughing so hard.

American_Caesar · 11-13-2010, 07:48 PM

GEEZ worst thing I ever did at an incall was lock myself out of my car. I got it figured out though.

Worst thing with a GF was we were going at it for a while and I needed to stop & clear my nose, but she didnt want me too, and sure enough with all the huffing & puffing, I shot a booger onto her. I thought it was funny, she didn't. Cleaned her up & kept going.

Once with my ex-ex-ex fiance, we broke a condom and she told me to get it out. Being drunk, I asked if she had a flashlight...

That one didnt think that was funny either.

burkalini · 11-14-2010, 12:20 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Reincarnated

I had a provider fall asleep while giving me a BBBJ...lol

Better check her chemical intake.

Natalie Reign · 11-14-2010, 05:41 PM

Recently, I was enjoying some BCD time with a friend, and we switched to doggie. I forgot to mention that if he hit my G-spot, I would involuntarily throw my head back. And he did. And I did. And in doing so, I knocked him straight in the forehead with the back of my head. Despite the near concussion, we laughed a lot, and had a great time. A few months ago, I had a P411 request for a multi-hour visit to the Grand Hyatt downtown. The gentleman screened perfectly, and we made arrangements to meet at his room. He had some very specific requests, so I spent almost 2 hours preparing for the session, and even purchased a new outfit. I arrived at the hotel 5 minutes before scheduled, and made my way to the elevators and up to his floor. I couldn't find his room. Confused, I called him, and he gave me specific directions from his elevator to the room. I still couldn't find it. I called him again. He tells me to ask the front desk to call him. They say they don't have a room XXX. I call him back and relay this to him. He says "That's ridiculous" and gives me his full name, and says to ask them to direct me to his room. They tell me they don't have a guest by that name. By this time, it's 15 minutes past our scheduled start time. I call him a fourth time. We finally realize that he's at the Grand Hyatt in San Antonio. And I'm in Austin. Epic fail. I once bought a few packages of condoms on sale at Walgreens and took them along with me on a date. The first one was fine, nothing remarkable about it. But the next one seemed to be abnormally small. After a few minutes of wrangling with it and deciding that it was cutting off circulation to important regions of the body, we decided to get rid of it altogether. I had to get dressed and go to my car for more condoms. I came back, and we tried another one. And another one. Every single one of those things damn near strangled his cock. I made a mental note never to purchase bargain-priced condoms again, even if they were a trusted brand. Taylor accidentally hit me in the nose right before a doubles FBSM. My eyes turned red watered the entire time, and I had to confess that I had been 'assault' just prior to our session because I was afraid the client would think I was on something otherwise.

Guest020916 · 11-15-2010, 05:59 AM

Sorry it happened to you, but this story gave me a good laugh.
Good thing the feds didn't try to chase you for knocking over the mailbox (jk).

Thanks, Haley!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Haley

Well Maddie I'm so glad that it doesn't happen to you.

It was my very 1st appointment as well, and yes I went
to the wrong house. In addition, I was so mortified when
I was leaving that I backed out of their driveway and
into their fence...

then I knocked over their mail box...

oopsy...

Insano · 11-16-2010, 01:59 PM

just last night i entered an incall, took off my favorite REI hoodie and hung it on the back of a chair. in doing so, one of the sleeves flipped onto the table and landed right on a candle. but of my nervousness / excitement feeling i get during a date, i had no clue. someone around here has some fast ninja like reflexes.

Natalie Reign · 11-16-2010, 09:42 PM

LMAO @ Insano. That was a close one! When your hobby roommate has a history of knocking candles over and nearly starting fires in strip clubs, you learn to be quick like ninja at removing flammable items from the flame's reach.

Insano · 11-17-2010, 02:25 AM

i thank you for saving my favorite hoodie.

Ebony Jasmine Love Austin · 11-17-2010, 02:46 AM

At one point I would wear hair extensions due to a bad hair cut.

My effing ponytail fell off!

Poor guy.
I'm all natural now!

austin_voy · 11-17-2010, 09:36 AM

Getting a FBSM and she tells me to roll over. And I did. The floor hurt like hell, but fortunately I landed on my back! We both laughed (you know, that pained laugh, at least for me). She gave me an extra hour and we went way, way beyond FBSM. Pop, pop, pop. And more than an extra hour.

But I'm not going to try that again to get some extras. That's one hell of a tip!!

Guest061511-2 · 11-18-2010, 08:18 AM

A girlfriend talked me into going to one of those jack shacks to work. I decided to try it out. Anyway,on my first night, I showed a gentleman to the private room. I told him he could make himself comfortable and I would return in a minute. He was acting a little strange. A few minutes later I returned to the room that had black lights everywhere to discover he must have been eating powdered donuts! The black light showed his ummm err powdered donut mustache!