Male-Female Interactions at get togethers.... Guys.... You really need to learn to communicate better..... Ladies..... You really need to take a little more initiative....

[Whispers]

It does not come across here on the board but a part of the success I have with the ladies I meet comes from a willingness to listen as well as an ability to get a lady to open up and talk a bit..... I think a few of you are missing opportunities by being unwilling to try to do the same....

One Lady in the club the other night was talking to me about a friend of mine.....She expressed certain ideas about why they were not hanging out that I later conveyed to him.... His ideas were a bit different.....

Bottom line was they didn't talk..... They had just quit seeing each other....... After I got in the middle and ran my mouth a bit on both sides I wasn't surprised later that night to find them cuddled up together.....

I get feedback from guys and gals as well after every luncheon .............

Guys complain that they did not get to meet a certain lady yet they don't get up off their ass and go say Hello...... Ladies feel at times they shouldn't approach the group..... I get this from Dancers after the parties all the time..... "Oh... You guys are such a large group and were having such a good time it didn't seem like you wanted to be bothered"....

I often tell the ladies that many of the guys are a bit on the shy side and they need to approach them in a more direct manner..... One Lady that was not present at this luncheon is fantastic about grabbing the quiet ones by the hand and leading them off to the VIP room, returning 10-15 minutes later to grab another one and by the end of the day almost EVERYONE knows who she is..... Unfortunately.... Many are not that way.....

I was told the following earlier today by one of the girls that joined us for lunch.............

She stated that she had talked with a lot of the guys while trying to keep the flirting to a minimum. She felt it would be unprofessional to show more than a passing interest in a guy in that environment..... either to "obtain business" or otherwise....

She mentioned there were guys at the luncheon that she would have seen for fun.....had they asked....... then went on to say those guys are still oblivious to that fact and always will be.......

She thinks many of us are cynical enough to take any suggestion of interest as a ploy to simply gain "customers" and would not want the fall out from that....

I would say that I probably fall into that last category myself.....

Not long ago I had a lady tell me she wants to see another buddy for free..... She likes hanging out with him and wants to see him in a nonprofessional manner...... He seems to prefer keeping it on a business level...... But he didn't know she had that interest.....

A Waitress likes hanging out with another guy I know but he gets overly obsessive and can't seem to deal with just being friends and letting her have other friends as well.... So

Anyway.... Some of you might want to do a little "emotional inventory" and think about some of your interactions with the ladies recently..... because you may have missed an opportunity.....

Ladies..... Some of you need to realize that if the guys that come to the Socials and Luncheons were able to better approach women and express an interest in you.... well.. you would probably be out of business because they wouldn't have to hobby as much.....

I often refer to first school dances you attend in Jr High school..... All the little boys on one side of the room.... all the little girls on the other....... It's sad at times but some of us still don't want to walk across that floor and ask someone to dance!

Even I am still shy, timid and withdrawn in many settings...........

But come on people..... At a Strip Club or Social? There is simply no excuse for not getting off your ass and going over and meeting someone that strikes your fancy!

[sixxbach]

Whispers, you have to keep in mind that not everyone is outgoing like yourself or me for that matter. I am one who can talk to anyone. There is always something that I can create a conversation and it goes from there. All of us see the hobby through a computer screen. Anyone can type and be outgoing online.

Once you go to a social setting such as a luncheon, lots of people are not within their comfort zone. Posting online and booking an appointment with a provider is not being social IMO. Most likely, once at the social setting, the person who is laid back will revert to that state.

I had/have no issues going up to someone and chit chatting. I wanted to meet all the providers in attendance. I think I met everyone but one or two. The girls I had an interest in I talked to for a bit, the others just a quick hello. For me "meeting women" at a SC luncheon is easy because what I look like does not matter anymore. I am attractive to them, well my cash is at least lol

[Whispers]

Originally Posted by sixxbach

Whispers, you have to keep in mind that not everyone is outgoing like yourself or me for that matter.

Me? Outgoing?

I am one who can talk to anyone. There is always something that I can create a conversation and it goes from there. All of us see the hobby through a computer screen. Anyone can type and be outgoing online.

Once you go to a social setting such as a luncheon, lots of people are not within their comfort zone. Posting online and booking an appointment with a provider is not being social IMO. Most likely, once at the social setting, the person who is laid back will revert to that state.

I had/have no issues going up to someone and chit chatting. I wanted to meet all the providers in attendance. I think I met everyone but one or two. The girls I had an interest in I talked to for a bit, the others just a quick hello. For me "meeting women" at a SC luncheon is easy because what I look like does not matter anymore. I am attractive to them, well my cash is at least lol

The Dollar Bills behind your ears definitely work to your advantage.

My biggest point in this matter is that the decision has already been made to attend.... Why waste the opportunity?

[TaylorMaiden29]

bump

[Whispers]

Come Out Come Out where ever you are! But do try to stay on topic darlin!

[PeAcH]

In social settings, almost everyone interprets my being quiet and observing, as being shy.

I've grown up with a.. speak when spoken to.. only speak when you have something important to say.. type of mentality.. I have never been good at gossip, or small-talk.. I don't have a ton of stories to tell, and I am not a comedian.. so I generally sit back, relax and observe.

Now, my observation does not mean I do not partake in the conversations.

A lot of the time, people beat me to the pause when others begin to talk. I HATE interrupting people, so often, I am cut off before I get a chance to talk.. however, I do listen to every word that is being said, and try to force my say out in the conversation when I can..

I like to approach a group and introduce myself, and let the conversation continue uninterrupted because of my presence, out of politeness. I guess I 'wait my turn'.

..but that does not mean I am shy.

I try to be as respectful as possible.


I try to take more initiative to 'push through' but I hate being rude, and that's just hard-wired into me..




Anyways, I'm babbling..
Carry on, thread!

[Vyt]

I tend to be very introverted and quiet when amongst a group of people I don't know. It takes a few hours and/or a few drinks to loosen me up to the point where I start insulting people at random!

So at socials/get-togethers/whatever we're calling them this week, any provider who actually breaks the ice and comes talk to me gets all kinds of bonus points. Yes, I know at a social there's the subtext of "I am advertising", but hey! there's also the subtext on my end of "I am browsing". Funny how those tend to work together...

It's also one reason why I enjoy strip clubs - because the dancers usually take the initiative in opening conversation, but I can still thumbs-up or thumbs-down (politely of course) depending on how much chemistry I feel.

[Whispers]

Originally Posted by Vyt

.... It's also one reason why I enjoy strip clubs - because the dancers usually take the initiative in opening conversation, but I can still thumbs-up or thumbs-down (politely of course) depending on how much chemistry I feel.

They certainly do....

It's probably why so much money keeps heading their way.....

[FSCOB]

I just can't hear too well with the loud music in the clubs. So I shake my head and grin a lot. Of course, then I look and act like Forrest Gump and no one wants to talk to me!

Maybe that's why I enjoy the "non-verbal communication" so much more!

[rekcaSxT]

Originally Posted by PeAcH

In social settings, almost everyone interprets my being quiet and observing, as being shy.

I've grown up with a.. speak when spoken to.. only speak when you have something important to say.. type of mentality.. I have never been good at gossip, or small-talk.. I don't have a ton of stories to tell, and I am not a comedian.. so I generally sit back, relax and observe.

Now, my observation does not mean I do not partake in the conversations.

A lot of the time, people beat me to the pause when others begin to talk. I HATE interrupting people, so often, I am cut off before I get a chance to talk.. however, I do listen to every word that is being said, and try to force my say out in the conversation when I can..

I like to approach a group and introduce myself, and let the conversation continue uninterrupted because of my presence, out of politeness. I guess I 'wait my turn'.

..but that does not mean I am shy.

I try to be as respectful as possible.


I try to take more initiative to 'push through' but I hate being rude, and that's just hard-wired into me..




Anyways, I'm babbling..
Carry on, thread!

I am very similar in the way I interact with people.

[Whispers]

Originally Posted by PeAcH

In social settings, almost everyone interprets my being quiet and observing, as being shy.

I deal with the same thing often. Then again I really am shy...

[Austinfunandfit]

I'm just like Peach, maybe I need to meet her! LOL.

[Whispers]

SO here is an example of "mis-communication" as well as "missed opportunities"....

I sit down to talk to two young ladies and one tends to be a bit more vocal than the other most of the time so we talk a lot....

Her friend, a little more shy possibly, never shows any real interest in talking to me although she does talk to a lot of other guys I know.

But I get some mixed signals and some pushes from her friend so I sit down to talk a bit to the shy one and during the conversation at one point she mentions I really should get a lap dance from her friend...

OK.. I'm Sorry.... But I really read this as a lack of interest on her part and chock that up to her sending me back to hr friend........ That's OK... Not everyone likes my attitude....

But... I keep plugging away.. trying to draw her out a little... and ask her about the suitcase she is carrying as compared to friends little clutch.....

"Just what is in that huge purse of yours".....

Now here is a golden opportunity for her market herself and close a deal if the purse contains all the necessary essentials of an impending rendezvous.....

She digs around in her purse a minute and pulls out some flyer card thing for something I don't remember now....

No attempt whatsoever to spark my interest..... Although I am right there next to her talking and trying to draw her out....

Then she sees a cute dancer so I call the girl over and make the intros and all she has to do at this point as she gets up to follow the girl back to VIP for some table dances is reach down and grab my hand and take me along.....

Nope.... off they go without me ....

I slide over to her friend who had told me previously there was interest there....

"Nope... Not a bit... There is absolutely nothing there that would indicate any interest in me from her...."

No... She insists.... Shows me some texts that I read in a total different manner than she does.....

later we end up at breakfast and Instigator keeps posing the "You two are supposed to be off fucking somewhere scenario"

She just doesn't get that although she may like hanging out with me a bit that I don't seem to be her shy friends cup of tea!

Probably because it is opposites that attract and I am rather shy myself....

timid.....

and withdrawn....

[Rand Al'Thor]

I don't know what to say, I get shy and my palms get sweaty when I'm around scantily clad women. If I could sit face to face with a woman and type to talk, that might work better. I'm a pimp online, and my level 80 Orc Shaman is smooth as silk with the ladies.

[Whispers]

Originally Posted by Rand Al'Thor

I'm a pimp online, and my level 80 Orc Shaman is smooth as silk with the ladies.

hmmm...

I thought you were more of a Prophet?