Burn out - have you experienced it?

[burkalini]

Seeing a burned out provider is both terrible and sad. It's pretty easy to spot. Nothing is new to them and they act mundane. I do understand how they can get that way though.

[Dharma]

I have learned to prevent burnout when I can, by compartmentalizing my life. Work stays at work, plain and simple and my personal life is off limits when I'm working. Sure, there are certain details I share but I have boundaries and I don't violate them.

Still, this is a business where we give of ourselves and eventually, everyone needs to take a break. I'm one of the fortunate few that genuinely loves what I do and I just can't stay away for two weeks for a proper vacation. So instead, I take several mini vacations through the year. I take three or four days and I just go. The phone stays on my desk. I get out of Dallas and go to the beach, Seattle, Arkansas, Boston, The Great Lakes or wherever I feel like (or get a great airfare). I love to drive and sometimes, a four to six hour drive to a B&B is nice too.

I always keep an emergency get away kit ready to go. It contains a first aid kit, a map (in case my GPS fails), a couple of folding chairs, three changes of clothes, a loaded mp3 player and a case of water, just in case I get the urge to go at a moment's notice. My next mini vacation is all planned out so I have someplace to go the next time I need to take a few days to recharge.

One thing that really helps me is that I love practicing massage and look forward to going to work each day. It's not something I have to do, I choose to do it because it makes me happy. I have had jobs that I came to dislike because I had to do it. Feeling trapped in any job really sucks the fun right out of it.

[Lauren Flare]

Hmm, I didn't reach burnout. All my encounters went well and I really enjoyed myself. I've just retired but not for any concrete reason I can explain; more of a "shift" inside me and a sense that my path was turning and taking a different direction (in a positive way).
I suppose I could sense that I might burnout in the near future if I were to continue, and I wanted to leave it while I still had good feelings about it.
I really like this board tho' so I think I'm gonna stick around here for a while.

[charlestudor2005]

IMHO, providers are in what I call a "giving" profession similar to social workers, nurses, care-givers, teachers, and the like. People in professions that require one to emotionally support others all the time risk quick or frequent burnouts. One can only give so much emotionally before you have to take a break and recharge the emotional batteries. Like CH says, you DO have to take care of yourself.

[London Rayne]

It's quite easy really...you don't make this your life. I charge premium rates for quality service, and I don't see everyone or work when I don't want to.

I have found it best in the last year to tour vs. trying to work back home. I go out of town and am in work mode all week long, so when I come home I can focus on school, family and friends. I may see a regular or two when I don't have my child that night, but I don't stress about a quota I need to meet anymore.

This can be a very lonely life and that I will admit to have experiencing. I don't believe in cheating or lying to a mate, so I have not had a boyfriend in quite some time while doing this. It's just too hard to be with other men seeing his face the entire time, so I have chosen to be alone for the time being. If this is all a person has to look forward to, it can be frustrating. It is never too late to go back to school, get that job you want, or use the business instead of letting it use you.

Your friend is clearly at the end of her rope and I would encourage you to tell her that it's not too late to be whatever she wants to be! I am almost 30 just now working on a Masters but even with my other two degress, I can't get a job that pays the bills. This business is not for life...it is to get from point A to point B but so many get lost on the way there. Don't let her be one of them.

[Sweet Heather]

I think it's very important to have a life outside of being a provider. I have a busy life, and providing is just a tiny part of it. When girls let providing become the primary focus of their life, burnout is almost a certainty.

[heatherelite]

Originally Posted by Sweet Heather

When girls let providing become the primary focus of their life, burnout is almost a certainty.

Agreed. That's why I think traveling can be so great. You focus on "work" during the time you are there and when you are home you can then focus 100% on that. Obviously, not everyone can or wants to travel but I think it's worth a shot.

[sexibeki]

I too burned out in a caregiving position, as a respiratory therapist. Carrie is so right with this, as some times I need a break from it, and the lifestyle, or more importantly, my SO needs me to be "normal". Nobusiness calls, ect...recahrge as a couple, as a person... and to quote=Carrie Hillcrest;716774]While a lot of ladies -- especially those who become someone's ATF -- do treat this as a business, it seems that there are far fewer who also realize that, like any other job, you need to take a vacation from it every now and then. Overworking oneself is easy to do, because business can be unpredictable; we never know what next week or next month will bring (or not bring) financially, so it's hard to force ourselves to NOT work.

And then there's all the stress of balancing this with the rest of our lives (day jobs, school, kids, time with an SO) and the difficulties of (typically) leading a double life -- it adds up.

Plus, there's the simple fact that this is not a good profession for everyone. While it certainly has its rewards (financial, mental, ...physical ), it can be very draining, and not everyone is able to handle the ups and downs. But, again, just like any job, taking a short vacation helps a LOT in being able to cope with that. I have been known to set my status as "Gone Fishin'" when I need some time to myself. I always feel SO much better when I come back!


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[naughtynatale]

I really like what Charles and Carrie said. I manage my money so that I don't have to work. I take a break when I need me time. And I don't see people constantly.

This is an emotional and mental job that if you let it will drain you.

[Guest091813]

Well so I dont burn out and Ive seen some of the best ladies go through this phase
..I take a break at least once a month...I will be available most of the time..but you know what I make sure I get in some me time..
I have alot going on at home and in my biz world..I know I'll be here in this world for along while..

Also I have a great motto.."stress free" ......And I live up to it..
when things get stressfull I set them free and take a lil mini vaca..whether its a day or two..I still take care of me.. that way I can take care of them!!.nita..

[charlestudor2005]

Originally Posted by anita germane

..I take a break at least once a month...

Yeah, probably when Aunt Flo visits.

[offshoredrilling]

cheap shot

IMHO
OSD

[Guest091813]

hahah charlestudor...you are funny!!! But other than that time of the month as well..that time isnt a vaca for me believe it!!!:-D