Economic Simulus Payment

[diver444]

Sometime this year, we taxpayers will again receive another 'Economic Stimulus' payment.

This is indeed a very exciting program, and I'll explain it by
using a Q & A format:

Q. What is an 'Economic Stimulus' payment ?
A. It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.

Q.. Where will the government get this money ?
A. From taxpayers.

Q. So the government is giving me back my own money ?
A. Only a smidgen of it.

Q. What is the purpose of this payment ?
A. The plan is for you to use the money to purchase a
high-definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy.

Q. But isn't that stimulating the economy of China ?
A. Shut up.

Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the U.S. economy by
spending your stimulus check wisely:

* If you spend the stimulus money at Wal-Mart, the money will go to China or Sri Lanka.
* If you spend it on gasoline, your money will go to the Arabs.
* If you purchase a computer, it will go to India , Taiwan or China .
* If you purchase fruit and vegetables, it will go to Mexico , Honduras and Guatemala
* If you buy an efficient car, it will go to Japan or Korea .
* If you purchase useless stuff, it will go to Taiwan .
* If you pay your credit cards off, or buy stock, it will go to management bonuses and they will hide it offshore.

Instead, keep the money in America by:

1) Spending it at yard sales, or
2) Going to ball games, or
3) Spending it on prostitutes, or
4) Beer or
5) Tattoos.
(These are the only American businesses still operating in the U.S. )


Conclusion:

Go to a ball game with a tattooed prostitute that you met at a yard sale and drink beer all day !

No need to thank me, I'm just glad I could be of help.

[Rakhir]

It makes me proud to have a member as astute as yourself on the board.

[bassmaster02000]

thats was awsome, maybe i'll save mine to do a double next time.

[BigDaddyButters]

Can't think of a better way to spend the federal government's money than beer and hookers!

[I B Hankering]

But remember, a Belgian/Brazillian brewer now owns Anheuser-Bush, and Miller Brewing Company, although based in Milwaukee, WI, is now owned by SABMiller (South African Breweries). Pabst Blue Ribbon is brewed by Miller which means it’s brewed by SAB. Heineken is Dutch, of course, and Corona, Modelo, Dos Equis, Tecate, etc., are still brewed in Mexico. Here are some truly American breweries: The Boston Beer Co. (Samuel Adams Lager), Sierra Nevada Brewing Co., New Belgium (Fat Tire Amber Ale), Pyramid Breweries, Matt Brewing, Shipyard Brewing Co., Anchor Brewing Co., Magic Hat Brewing Co., Pete's Brewing Company, and three of my personal favorites—Abita Brewing Co. (Abita Amber), The Spoetzl Brewery (Shiner Bock) and D.G. Yuengling & Son (unfortunately, Yuengling [pronounced “ying-ling”] is not distributed in Louisiana).