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guest111111 · 10-11-2010, 08:27 AM

I know it sounds trite... but thats what we need....
With all of the drama that has taken place over the past couple of weeks, all the bashing of of lurkers vs. posters, ladies bashing each other, and a complete disregard for what as mods actually do here and the reasons behind why thigns are done a certain way, i am asking this simple question... what needs to be done to make this area acceptable to all of you...
Again, as mods, i wish we could often remain more silent, but as we have seen, when we do, those who have agendas or issues seem to take over and try to intimidate all other members of this board. How can we remain silent, and productive at the same time?
Ina perfect world, this board would police itself, but as i am sure that all of you have seen, that is completely impossible in this area. Of all the areas on this board, there is more drama in this upstate section that anywhere else. There is a call for us to do more, to help the ladies deal with errant reviews, and security threats, to help keep those with complete lack of decorum in check, and then when we do this, we get ridiculed for making information on here non freeflowing and uninformative.

So i pose the question to all ladies and gentlemen here, lurkers and members alike, what do you want us to do to make this board operate in the manner that you want it to? IF you dont feel comfortable posting here, pm one of us... but to have all this talk of everyone leaving and going utr, and lack of information, and censorship... its getting really old.

The board is yours, not ours... if you have idea's for improvement, great. we can take them and direct them to the powers that be. But all the infighting, name calling, and general disrespect for others opinions, not to mention the inability to have open discussions without hostility, is getting completely out of hand.

I have been in this hobby a long time. and on the boards since 2001, when there wasnt an upstate or ny board... the information that has been shared since then, has made this hobby thrive in our area, and has also allowed us a much greater sense of security. Without the sharing of information this would not have been possible....

again, please, i am asking for everyone's input here .... good or bad...

BrookeButtons · 10-11-2010, 08:59 AM

Like how I said in Mary's post, I think everyone needs to go back to the two main rules we are taught, "Treat others like how we would want to be treated" and "If you don't have anything nice to say, Don't say anything at all". It can be hard to just bite your tongue and be the bigger person. Especially when opinions come into play.

Now this part is IMHO, leaving the site all together isn't going to work. Before Nikki's and Mary's post, I decided to post in the Co-ed section less. I had seen some providers attacked and I saw hobbyist attacked for "white knighting" providers. Childish behavior is uncalled for, but unfortunately will probably be a part of Upstate Ny board. Now I was never an active member of the old ASPD website, and maybe this is how it was there as well. But all I could suggest is to crack down on more childish behavior. There are rules and guidelines to ECCIE and posting, we should respect those rules. Doove, you and the mods do a good job at trying to keep topics on topic and flowing without a lot of negativity.

But for my self, for now, I am mainly now just a lurker in the co-ed section. I post more in the Sandbox only because its laid back without any of the pettiness. It's funny because there are still a vast majority of opinions but no one seems to bicker because the hobby part is taken out of it. Maybe for a while we all should just par take in the sandbox!!!

offshoredrilling · 10-11-2010, 09:50 AM

I wanted to wait longer to see where this thread went before I joined in.
Well as some of my comments would be seen as unnice yet are not I will keep all to self for now.
Good Provider vs. Great Provider: A Constructive Analysis
Another thread worth looking at.

OSD

summerwaves · 10-11-2010, 10:27 AM

Just leave it the way it is.

jokacz · 10-11-2010, 10:39 AM

This board exists for one reason only; to allow clients to connect up with providers. The vast majority of those clients are lurkers. If the providers had to depend on the handful of guys that post here they would all be broke. The reasons the lurkers are here are to get useful info about the providers and to enjoy the show the posters put on. This is what traffic is all about. At the end of the day the drama and hurt feelings are irrelevant.

Want to know what you mods can do to help? As little as possible.

Guest091813 · 10-11-2010, 01:31 PM

Doc...honestly...i don't think really there is anything a mod can do..there will always be negative people out there..on this board all over..all you can do is let things run their course and let it be done..

Perhaps if some folks just "went with the flow" there wouldn't be as much hate on the boards..but as always..you will never be able to please everyone..it is what it is...

I have decided to post to only certain things..ill sit back and lurk and watch..but not comment when say..Ive had too much to drink.. not enough to drink.. or only have had just one drink..

if the post commands that I have a say..then you'll hear my point of view..till then..well..ill just be pre-screening as the posts are made....

anyways...have a great holiday folks..nita....

m2244 · 10-11-2010, 04:35 PM

Anita well stated

.........

cnym · 10-11-2010, 04:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jokacz

This board exists for one reason only; to allow clients to connect up with providers. The vast majority of those clients are lurkers. If the providers had to depend on the handful of guys that post here they would all be broke. The reasons the lurkers are here are to get useful info about the providers and to enjoy the show the posters put on. This is what traffic is all about. At the end of the day the drama and hurt feelings are irrelevant.

Want to know what you mods can do to help? As little as possible.

jokacz, That might be true, but without the reviews provided by the people that review, the lurkers will not have any information.

Dave, there is nothing a Mod can do at this point.

It is up to all of us to respect each other, Ladies and Gentlemen alike and stop the drama.

I am not going anywhere, Life is too short, have a Hobby, LOL

m2244 · 10-11-2010, 04:52 PM

cnym how are you even on the computer right now LOL.....MUAH

cnym · 10-11-2010, 04:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by m2244

cnym how are you even on the computer right now LOL.....MUAH

Hi Mary,
I do try to get to eccie when I can, although it is getting a bit difficult lately, LOL

This should be my New Signature line !!!

Life is too short, have an "affair" oops, I mean hobby

jokacz · 10-11-2010, 05:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cnym

without the reviews provided by the people that review, the lurkers will not have any information.

I agree, reviews are an integral component to driving the traffic. The usefulness of the ROS section is open to debate. Although it’s certainly part of the circus aspect of the board.

Doove · 10-11-2010, 05:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BrookeButtons

Doove, you and the mods do a good job at trying to keep topics on topic and flowing without a lot of negativity.

I've been accused of a lot of things, but keeping things on topic without a lot of negativity is not one of 'em.

So i think you probably meant Docdave? But thanks for thinking of me.

BrookeButtons · 10-11-2010, 05:50 PM

blah i sorry! i was typing so fast and wrote your name not doc... my bad and I sorry

forgive me pleaseeeeee hahaha :P

I guess thats what happens when you have alot to say, your computer is being slow and I type wayyy to fast for my own good.

BrookeButtons · 10-11-2010, 05:51 PM

ps I guess I had doove on my mind

not that we have ever met but maybe it's just all the chatter that makes me wanna meet at some point!

jackfengshui · 10-11-2010, 06:40 PM

Different people come here with different motivations and objectives. We should welcome or at least tolerate all of them, with civility and understanding - and not negativity, sarcasm, and narrow-mindedness.

My experience might not be typical, but it could be a useful case-study. I was originally attracted to the old site because I found it to be a useful consumer guide for the local hobby scene. As someone who never have the courage to TOFTT, I have met many wonderful ladies based on what I learned from the reviews. After lurking for some time, I realized that this was more than just a review board. It was a community of people participating in an activity that is normally secretive and lonely - and looked down by the rest of society. I started posting to share the camaraderie. I have gotten to know the ladies better. I have made friends with many hobbyists even though I have not met anyone of them in person. More recently, I even started reviewing, despite some earlier reservations, partly to make me feel like a full-fledged participant. I therefore fully appreciate our mix of lurkers, non-reviewing posters, and reviewers. We should all respect each other.

We need more "nice guys (and gals)" around here - and less "wise guys".