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Old 01-21-2010, 01:34 PM   #1
lionheart
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Default Ant and the Grasshopper

THE ANT AND THE GRASSHOPPER - two versions:

OLD VERSION:

The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter.

The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.

Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed. The grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he dies out in the cold.


OBAMA VERSION:

The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter.

The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.

Come winter, the shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others are cold and starving.

CBS, NBC, PBS, CNN, and ABC show up to provide pictures of the shivering grasshopper next to a video of the ant in his comfortable home with a table filled with food. America is stunned by the sharp contrast.

How can this be, that in a country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so?

Kermit the Frog appears on Oprah with the grasshopper, and everybody cries when they sing, 'It's Not Easy Being Green.'

Jesse Jackson stages a demonstration in front of the ant's house where the news stations film the group singing, 'We shall overcome.' Jesse then has the group kneel down to pray to God for the grasshopper's sake.

Nancy Pelosi & Harry Reid exclaim in an interview with Larry King that the ant has gotten rich off the back of the grasshopper, and both call for an immediate tax hike on the ant to make him pay his fair share.

Obama and Hillary go on national television agreeing that the plight of the grasshopper is the fault of George Bush.

Finally, the EEOC drafts the Economic Equity & Anti-Grasshopper Act retroactive to the beginning of the summer.

The ant is fined for failing to hire a proportionate number of green bugs and, having nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by the government.

Obama gets his old law firm to represent the grasshopper in a defamation suit against the ant, and the case is tried before a panel of federal judges that Bill Clinton appointed from a list of single-parent welfare recipients.

The ant loses the case.

The story ends as we see the grasshopper finishing up the last bits of the ant's food while the government house he is in, which just happens to be the ant's old house, crumbles around him because he doesn't maintain it.

The ant has disappeared in the snow.

The grasshopper is found dead in a drug related incident and the house, now abandoned, is taken over by a gang of spiders who terrorize the once peaceful neighborhood.
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Old 01-21-2010, 02:24 PM   #2
nevergaveitathought
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i predict 43% of the people will be disgusted by this joke
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Old 01-21-2010, 05:37 PM   #3
rCoder
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It was a joke? I thought it was a metaphor.
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Old 01-21-2010, 06:24 PM   #4
charlestudor2005
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And here, I thought it was surely fiction!!
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Old 01-22-2010, 09:23 AM   #5
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Too much reality can be VERY scary!!!!
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Old 01-22-2010, 09:48 AM   #6
cvorider
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I think the joke would be funnier if it didn't hit so close to home. The 43% that gets offended will either be democtats or immigrants that want to grandfathered into our system via the "nancy pelosi" way.
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Old 01-22-2010, 02:09 PM   #7
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Default OMG!!

I think I actually pee'd in my shorts!!
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Old 01-22-2010, 02:59 PM   #8
WTF
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rCoder View Post
It was a joke? I thought it was a metaphor.
LOL...funny thing is, other nations save way more a % of their income than we do, including immigrants in this country.

The joke really is in the responses to the metaphor!
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