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Old 08-13-2010, 01:25 AM   #1
Guest042611
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Default Does anyone else hate the word "hobby"?

I hate the word "hobby" for the act of hiring an escort, or the word "hobbyist" for a client. I'm actually not too crazy about the word "provider" either. These all feel clumsy and cheap-sounding to me, and devoid of sensuality. I guess "provider" sounds sort of like a health care professional, where escort has a sexier sound in my opinion. And "hobbyist" just creeps me out for some reason.

Jenny DeMilo wrote a blog about it I like: http://jennydemilo.com/?p=597

Does anyone else find these terms creepy or unsexy?
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Old 08-13-2010, 03:20 AM   #2
Chica Chaser
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Natalie View Post
I hate the word "hobby" for the act of hiring an escort, or the word "hobbyist" for a client. I'm actually not too crazy about the word "provider" either. These all feel clumsy and cheap-sounding to me, and devoid of sensuality. I guess "provider" sounds sort of like a health care professional, where escort has a sexier sound in my opinion. And "hobbyist" just creeps me out for some reason.

Jenny DeMilo wrote a blog about it I like: http://jennydemilo.com/?p=597

Does anyone else find these terms creepy or unsexy?
I'm not wild about the terms either. Escort is OK with me and I use Provider/Escort interchangeably.

But what would you suggest in place of them?

Hookers
Ho's
Johns
Clients
The Business

Those common terms don't improve things!
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Old 08-13-2010, 06:30 AM   #3
pyramider
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Just replace the terms hobbyist and provider with the terms fucktard and hooktard. Problem solved.
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Old 08-13-2010, 07:33 AM   #4
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Default what about

"my date" ..for either
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Old 08-13-2010, 08:15 AM   #5
charlestudor2005
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I think it's all current terminology...colloquialisms (using a slightly expanded definition). It will remain until the language changes, which will take place over a period of time. Intentionally changing the language will take a lot of time and effort. But if you want to establish terms that are less repulsive to you, decide what they are and promote them.

Unfortunately, in this demimonde, I think whatever terms are used become sleazy by the nature of the lifestyle. Real life rules and always will.
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Old 08-13-2010, 08:49 AM   #6
pjorourke
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Natalie View Post
I hate the word "hobby" for the act of hiring an escort, or the word "hobbyist" for a client. I'm actually not too crazy about the word "provider" either. These all feel clumsy and cheap-sounding to me, and devoid of sensuality. I guess "provider" sounds sort of like a health care professional, where escort has a sexier sound in my opinion. And "hobbyist" just creeps me out for some reason.

Jenny DeMilo wrote a blog about it I like: http://jennydemilo.com/?p=597
I loved this line: "A client, pays his fee, spends his time with you and then goes home to his life … because he HAS one."

Quote:
Does anyone else find these terms creepy or unsexy?
Yes
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Old 08-13-2010, 09:30 AM   #7
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I really don't care for the term.

Particularly on this board which is specifically geared to heterosexual male P4P, I try to just use gender references.
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Old 08-13-2010, 09:41 AM   #8
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I agree with the OP . . . I prefer courtesan for provider . . . it has a much more sensual history, sound, and feel to it . . . haven't come up with anything for hobbyist, but that term sounds like someone who is into woodworking . . . well, come go think of it, there is wood involved . . . *L*
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Old 08-13-2010, 09:46 AM   #9
charlestudor2005
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Originally Posted by SlowHand49 View Post
haven't come up with anything for hobbyist,

How about...
consumer
wallet
payer
sucker
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Old 08-13-2010, 10:06 AM   #10
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Default It's Only A Euphemism

Quote:
Originally Posted by Natalie View Post
I hate the word "hobby" for the act of hiring an escort, or the word "hobbyist" for a client. I'm actually not too crazy about the word "provider" either. These all feel clumsy and cheap-sounding to me, and devoid of sensuality. I guess "provider" sounds sort of like a health care professional, where escort has a sexier sound in my opinion. And "hobbyist" just creeps me out for some reason.

Jenny DeMilo wrote a blog about it I like: http://jennydemilo.com/?p=597

Does anyone else find these terms creepy or unsexy?
Natalie,

My old battered dictionary tells me that a euphemism is "the substitution of an agreeable or inoffensive expression for one that may offend or suggest something unpleasant."

A "provider" is a generic term used for a health care professional. I guess it's a shortened version of "provider of services". It's an "inoffensive" and neutral term that is easily applied to others who "provide service".

"Escort" is certainly sexier and certainly denotes the companionship aspect of the demimonde, but it lacks the neutrality of "provider".

And "hobby" is a bit creepy. It makes me think of nerdy guys flying remote control airplanes or endlessly organizing baseball cards, but it is too ingrained to be easily changed.

I like "demimonde". Many don't know its meaning, it's French and therefore cool, and then we can call providers "demimondaine" using an accent like Pepe Le Pew.

Adieu, Mon Cherie
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Old 08-13-2010, 10:06 AM   #11
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Natalie View Post
I hate the word "hobby" for the act of hiring an escort, or the word "hobbyist" for a client. I'm actually not too crazy about the word "provider" either. These all feel clumsy and cheap-sounding to me, and devoid of sensuality. I guess "provider" sounds sort of like a health care professional, where escort has a sexier sound in my opinion. And "hobbyist" just creeps me out for some reason.

Jenny DeMilo wrote a blog about it I like: http://jennydemilo.com/?p=597

Does anyone else find these terms creepy or unsexy?

I have always disliked both words, provider/hobbiest. There is something very cold, and sterile about the terms, plus in my case many of my newer clients are either escort virgins, or do this on such a rare occurrence that the word hobbiest does not even apply in their situation.

The other one that gets under my skin are when clients, and escorts refer to each other as brothers, and sisters.For me it is just plain overkill, and I often feel that it promotes an us against them mentality that I just do not understand..Just like in any job, or career there will be people you like, and feel a bond with and others you have absolutely nothing in common with.When I worked at an animal shelter I felt very close to the people in my department and we were always very supportive of each other , but we were coworkers and friends never bro's, and sisters.
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Old 08-13-2010, 10:08 AM   #12
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Natalie View Post
I hate the word "hobby" for the act of hiring an escort, or the word "hobbyist" for a client. I'm actually not too crazy about the word "provider" either. These all feel clumsy and cheap-sounding to me, and devoid of sensuality. I guess "provider" sounds sort of like a health care professional, where escort has a sexier sound in my opinion. And "hobbyist" just creeps me out for some reason.

Jenny DeMilo wrote a blog about it I like: http://jennydemilo.com/?p=597

Does anyone else find these terms creepy or unsexy?
At the end of the day I hate the term "Hobbyist" too. However, it is fitting for some gentlemen who participate. I'm not crazy about "provider" but once again, for a significant amount of women it's appropriate. I do not hate the terms in and of themselves, I hate them when applied to me and the people I see, because I don't think they're suitable.

Some men are taste testers, and they like to keep track. They are collectors of experiences. Hobbyist works for them.

Some women aren't interested in being themselves, in getting their own physical pleasure or in making a sincere connection - they are happy to provide the gentlemen with a wonderful experience though. Provider works for them.

It's impossibly hard to find an umbrella term that all the ladies or all the gents will be comfortable applying to themselves. I've always preferred the 1920's "Lady of Leisure", as it's generic enough and respectful enough that it can apply to many personal ideas.

This sub-culture of ours spans every color of the rainbow - from Dominatrix and Slave, Mistress and Lover, Provider and Hobbyis/Escort and Client, Sugarbabe and Sugardaddy, Courtesan and Patron, and a swath of things that haven't yet gotten labeled because no one feels safe talking about them on a public online form without the fear of being tar and feathered or taken advantage of.

Ultimately we're participants in the culture of alternative sexual relationships, and what that means can be astonishingly different even when you look at each person. I've found that nearly every Lady and Gentlemen has their own structured Philosophy, and it can be extremely individualistic.
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Old 08-13-2010, 10:14 AM   #13
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Originally Posted by pjorourke View Post
I loved this line: "A client, pays his fee, spends his time with you and then goes home to his life … because he HAS one."

What happens when things aren't structured based on a fee per time? Not everything works that way. I've had mistress arrangements where I was gifted but there was no set fee. And further, when said gentlemen are single, and not ashamed of me - when I visit them I'm welcomed into their life, not separated from it with a sense of secrecy or embarrassment.

Not everything works according to the formulas that we all like to pretend are the only way things function in this world. The classical world of the Demimonde does exist, it's just a taboo subject for some reason.
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Old 08-13-2010, 10:14 AM   #14
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Originally Posted by Lauren Summerhill View Post
At the end of the day I hate the term "Hobbyist" too. However, it is fitting for some gentlemen who participate. I'm not crazy about "provider" but once again, for a significant amount of women it's appropriate. I do not hate the terms in and of themselves, I hate them when applied to me and the people I see, because I don't think they're suitable.

Some men are taste testers, and they like to keep track. They are collectors of experiences. Hobbyist works for them.

Some women aren't interested in being themselves, in getting their own physical pleasure or in making a sincere connection - they are happy to provide the gentlemen with a wonderful experience though. Provider works for them.

It's impossibly hard to find an umbrella term that all the ladies or all the gents will be comfortable applying to themselves. I've always preferred the 1920's "Lady of Leisure", as it's generic enough and respectful enough that it can apply to many personal ideas.

This sub-culture of ours spans every color of the rainbow - from Dominatrix and Slave, Mistress and Lover, Provider and Hobbyis/Escort and Client, Sugarbabe and Sugardaddy, Courtesan and Patron, and a swath of things that haven't yet gotten labeled because no one feels safe talking about them on a public online form without the fear of being tar and feathered or taken advantage of.

Ultimately we're participants in the culture of alternative sexual relationships, and what that means can be astonishingly different even when you look at each person. I've found that nearly every Lady and Gentlemen has their own structured Philosophy, and it can be extremely individualistic.
As usual, you have a wonderful way with words. It's been a while since I've seen you post here (I may have just missed your postings). If you've been on a break, welcome back. If not, it's nice to see such a thoughtful and succinct post.
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Old 08-13-2010, 10:19 AM   #15
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As usual, you have a wonderful way with words. It's been a while since I've seen you post here (I may have just missed your postings). If you've been on a break, welcome back. If not, it's nice to see such a thoughtful and succinct post.
Thanks Charles.

I've been gone. I had a really rough patch to work through in life and wanted to lick my wounds in private. Thought I'd poke my head out of my hole and see if a shadow will frighten me back into it LOL
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