Advice/vent. Amateur vs. pro.

[Hercules]

While back I did a favor for a woman who is not in this lifestyle. She is married and defines MILF. We stayed in contact. Lots of mutual interest. Couple months ago her correspondence became suggestive and has gradually gotten more intense.

In short...my emotions have run from: "Wheee a woman wants me and for ONCE I'm not throwing $$$ at her". To: "Should I watch 'Fatal Attraction' some more"?

It's a very odd feeling to remove the whole pay for play aspect even though I know there is no such thing as "free pussy".

Anyone here know what the hell I'm talkin about because one second I wanna bone her and the next I want to remain platonic and "be there" for a friend who might just go to some other guy to scratch an itch she may later regret scratching.

[Dilbertgolf]

I kind of have a similar situation. Mine isn't as cut and dried that the "Goodies" are there for the taking or if it is just a fun time flirting and teasing thing for her. Hard to know what to decide. Push it and risk losing the flirtation if they aren't serious, or always wondering, "What if?"

[TheGiftedOne]

Hit it Dude...

Otherwise, she will lose interest or think you are disinterested.

[Sawyer]

Years ago I did a lot of screwing married women. Until one of them started asking me to leave my wife. That's when I turned to the hobby because I fully believe in 2 things.
We pay them to leave afterwards and we pay them not to tell our wives.
On the other hand that time frame was like the best screwing of my life!!!
My advice is if she seems smart and emotionally stable, then what the hell are you waiting for, go get it man.

[PT4ME]

I agree with Sawyer, I have found that for the most part "married" women have as much to lose as married men and tend to be very discreet. Just as long as nobody "falls in love" all should be good!!!

My vote?..... "go for it!" As an adult and good friend, I'd bet worst case is she would be flattered and "respectfully" decline your offer...

-PT-

[Randy4Candy]

Your dilemma is exactly what most women want most men to be mired in. Probably unconscious as hell but, nonetheless, it's WHAT THEY DO.

Going with TGO but not for the same reason: Hit It, take as many precautions as you can and run for cover if you have to. If you are in a relationship that really means that much (and it's not about losing your "stuff") then why.....

Guys, women are all about mind games since they cannot physically compete (or at least couldn't when they were young and learning about effective feminine behavior). They have to do something to even the playing field and that's what they do.

[mtabsw]

I think it's possible to have a fuck-buddy relationship. After awhile it's hard to stay at a given level of intensity and when it escalates, someone gets burned, likewise if it wanes.

You have to weigh the pleasure against long term friendships. I have three men, and one woman who've been there more or less for me for 20-40 years. I've never had sex with any of them.

I think the odds of balancing are low but only you can make the bet.

[lisa.lisa0302]

Stick to the hobby, you know exactly what you are getting.

If you do go see this woman you are talking about it, bring your ''A" game, she is on the hunt for a reason. But if things go sour, there goes your friendship.

[TheGiftedOne]

Originally Posted by Randy4Candy

Guys, women are all about mind games since they cannot physically compete (or at least couldn't when they were young and learning about effective feminine behavior). They have to do something to even the playing field and that's what they do.

Boy, no shit about the mind games...better yet "mind fuck!"....

[HugginMan]

While I'm not an active hobbyist yet, I do know something about affairs. You'd be running a very high risk of fucking up a friendship, and maybe worse. Listen, I'm speaking from real experience here, and it's one of the reasons I'm moving in the direction of the hobby.

What's this woman's husband going to do if he finds out? How can you be sure she doesn't want him to find out but maybe not even realize it? Are you ready to dodge bullets?

You might be surprised how much deeper a friendship like this can go if you both fully discuss your feelings with each other with the intention to not let things go too far. The sexual energy can add fuel to an amazing experience of intimacy. BUT that is a lot easier said than done. I have two women friends like that, and another that started that way but ended up in a full-blown affair with me almost leaving my wife. That one got very messy for a while, but we still managed to keep the friendship alive. In fact, we're even closer in lots of ways, but we have to be very cautious around each other now because everyone sensed something was going on. I really miss the freedoms we used to enjoy when nobody was suspicious about us. That was a very heavy price to pay.

In the end, I'll just suggest that you think a very long time about what you really want, what you're willing to risk, and what you're not. [PS -And remember, the risks aren't just yours, but hers too. What risks are you willing or not willing to contribute to in her life? ]

HM

[slowmover]

pay for play is a lot cheaper!

[Jasser]

Hit it

[stavinChain]

Hercules, we pay them to leave, remember?

Also, there's beauty in No Strings Attached.

[LuckJack]

In my experience we start as fuck buddies then it goes to hell in a handbag.

[OldGrump]

You are friends and it sounds like her attraction to you is becoming emotional on her part. Once you break that limit, your friendship is off and you'll have to handle a future break-up whether it be you and her, her and her husband, you and your SO or all 3.

As enticing as it may seem. stick with NSA relationships until you are ready for the strings. Then find someone who is available - not just willing.