Awww, don't take it personally! You happen to be one of those gentlemen
I think most of my clients like hearing the funny stories out the life of an escort.
My most recent one goes a little something like this:
Hobbyist: I don't really have any references except for (name of meth head who has been arrested more times than I have fingers). But trust me honey, I'm a doctor, a good-looking guy, have a really big cock, and you'll end up cumming more than I will. You'll be glad we met.
(I know I know, I should have hung up right then, but I have to get my entertainment from somewhere, so I thought I'd give him a minute for laughs)
Lily: Well that's great! But unfortunately I can't screen people based on how many times they think I'll cum. How about I screen you through your place of business? Don't worry, I'll be totally discreet.
Hobbyist: Goddamnit! Some of you girls think you're really somethin'. Getting an appointment with you guys is harder than getting a passport!
Lily: Well I'm sorry you feel offended by my attempts at keeping things safe and professional. You should maybe stick to the ladies you've already been seeing.
Hobbyist: No, wait! I'm sorry. I'm just nervous and prefer to keep things more private, but I really want to see you. What info do you need?
Lily: Well, I'll need your real, full name and the name of your business.
Hobbyist: ok, makes me nervous but I understand. Oh, by the way, I was checking out your rates earlier and was wondering if you ever did like a half hour introductory thing for maybe $150.
Lily: Um, no I don't. All the packages I offer are listed on my website.
Hobbyist: Oh ok, just thought I'd ask. No problem. Ok you check my info and I'll call you back after I figure out my schedule.
Twenty minutes later.....
Lily: Yeah everything seems fine. When did you want to meet?
Hobbyist: Im not sure, I don't have a lot of time today. Maybe just thirty minutes in the afternoon. Are you sure you couldn't do just an introductory thing for maybe $175?
Lily: Im pretty sure we already covered that.
Hobbyist: Baby, you should know that I don't really need to pay for it. I'm a really good looking guy and I can most of the time just pick somebody up in a bar. I promise you babe, you will not be disappointed. You're gonna have the best orgasm you've ever had. So let's work out a half hour deal because I KNOW you'll have a great time, but I think it's only fair that we work something out so that I get to sample the goods. What do you think?
Lily: Click.
Hysterical
I have a bottle of wine and am willing to travel
