Is it okay to "negotiate" a "date"

[looiecypher]

Well the only thing about this whole thing that I wonder about is how much is the Op willing to pay and for how much time? He stated that $600-$800 was out of his range.
It definitely is going to depend on how much time you are wanting to spend with the lady.What were you considering to be a fair rate?$500,$400 or lower?
Just saying if you are thinking about too little it is doubtful you will get a whole lot of response even if the lady does want a free meal. I personally have had non-bcd time with a couple of the ladies I see frequently.They are always willing to spend a little extra time going to lunch,or other activities.I do always either compensate them for their time or at least offer too.
There have been times when they refused the money which made me feel like they truly enjoyed spending time with me.
Again this is with ladies I have seen several times.
Point being ,if you can't afford to give the lady a good time then you are going to have problems.Maybe save up for a month or so and then you can treat her to a really nice night out and both of you will benefit.
If you come off as being cheap or broke it will be a red flag to the ladies.This is true in the real world just as much as the hobby world.

[lisa.lisa0302]

Okay I'll be the one say it.

If the lady of choice rates isn't over the top, why negotiate?

If a person negotiate (NOT SAYING YOU) the first meeting, its likely they will do it again and again. And im sure the sessions would get crappier. Or you will that she will magically be unavailable when you call her.


If you see a lady several times, and everything has been great. An impression has been made, and she would probably be happy to hang out with looking for a donation.

I like your style Louie! and I see that some of the gentlemen feel the same way as he does. Thats awesome to know.

Oh like others said, post an ISO...you never know.

Good luck with your decision and have fun.

[Nina Rae]

Originally Posted by Rambro Creed

Lol.

Tell ya what, big Tex. Show up to a session and conveniently forget the fee (or just leave it in the car) or suggest at 'not quite having enough' or see if they'll slip you an extra hour on the house. If any of those are not met with a resounding WTF or 'Hell no', then I'll believe what you're saying.

With all due respect (as in the respect due any human being)...wtf? Just because a lady expects you to have the donation ready and in full when she sees you does not make her a money grubbing whore. Come on. If you arrive with your donation in full, and the lady gives you 20 mins of play time instead of an hour, you're gonna be pissed because that was plainly NOT the agreement. Its the same thing in the reverse. Don't agree (or accept the offer of services at a given rate) and then try to pull some kind of counter offer later for a lower rate. Its crass and rude...and that's not business, its dirty dealing. Most providers that I know aren't thinking they need to make money 24/7, but they do think that if you booked a 2 hr appt, you are agreeing to pay the 2 hr rate. If not, then you should either find a new hobby or book time with a lady with lower rates.

The answer for best results, which was clearly indicated from the above responses, is to post an ISO. However, just because most ladies don't negotiate, it doesn't mean that we're all money suckers. You have a choice is whether you hobby. We appreciate your business and aren't any different than any other person working for a living.

Cheers.

[hotlips_houlihan]

Originally Posted by bigbobftworth

Ladies always say no negotiation on rates, yet they will barter for certain things. A barter is nothing more than a negotiation.

The difference babe, is that "we" initiate the barter and not "him."

I think many ladies have a discount rate for dinner, movies, whatever. Some ladies totally do that for free and only charge for BCD time. Other ladies charge for everything.

"I" think the best solution is one I stated before. Post an ISO. That way a lady who is interested can contact him. I'm sure he would get many responses. It serves his purpose and hers-that way she can offer the negotiated rate instead of being asked for it. Whether the outcome is the same or not, the approach makes all the difference in the world.

Meg

[Gonzo DFW]

I think the problem is coupling (great word for a hobby board, right?) the dinner with the date. It's just not right. Her time, her money. But I find it not only acceptable but desirable to take a provider to lunch or dinner--I buy, of course, and at a nice place--if no date is involved. To me, that's the difference. If you're asking for dinner and a date, that's a total experience and the hobbyist should pay for it--the dinner, the date and the time for both. However, if he, or she, just wants to meet up to talk and have lunch or dinner and there's no date, then that's a different proposition. At least it is to Gonzo. Go figure.

[Shea Veile]

Originally Posted by Jasser

I have to agree, but I wouldn't expect this from any lady here. For instance, when I've inquired about outcalls, I've had some try and charge me for every single minute they would be away from their home.

"well babe, lets see..it takes an hour to get there, an hour to play, then an hour to get home, plus 50 for gas (wow, it never takes 50 bucks for me to drive an hour)...I think a 1,000.00 is fair for my time."

This thread isn't originally about outcalls. Instead, it's supposed to have been about extended dates. But since you're on the subject ...

It may not take $50 for YOU to drive an hour.

Approx. $35-$40 to fill the tank, probably $5-$10 for road tolls, $15-$20 for valet (if it's offered & utilized) and at least $100 just to load the car on a tow truck - not including the mileage that's charged in addition to it (if it breaks down & more to fix it).

ALL of it comes out of MY pocket which explains higher outcall rates vs. incall rates.

I don't know of ANY vehicle that's FREE.

[flboy65]

Gonzo....
Just to make sure I'm understanding your post.....
Are you suggesting that it would be a better choice to call up a provider to take her to lunch/dinner and just chit-chat with no BCD involved and no donation.... then at some later time call back again for the BCD with the normal advertised rate... am I understanding that correctly ??

If so, why is this better?

[Donnie Brasco]

Originally Posted by lisa.lisa0302

Okay I'll be the one say it.

If the lady of choice rates isn't over the top, why negotiate?

If a person negotiate (NOT SAYING YOU) the first meeting, its likely they will do it again and again. And im sure the sessions would get crappier. Or you will that she will magically be unavailable when you call her.


If you see a lady several times, and everything has been great. An impression has been made, and she would probably be happy to hang out with looking for a donation.

I like your style Louie! and I see that some of the gentlemen feel the same way as he does. Thats awesome to know.

Oh like others said, post an ISO...you never know.

Good luck with your decision and have fun.

My thoughts exactly.
What about meeting a lady here (I've done that), seeing here say, several times (done that too), and actually clicking with her BCD and try to leave a smile on her face when you leave. After that, spring the idea of lunch or drinks on her. If she feels that she needs to get paid, she'll quickly tell you. If she doesn't, all your paying for is lunch and drinks. If you want BCD before and after, I'm sure your entitled to inquire but, at your expense.
I've said it a dozen times and will say it once again, "These are no dating sites". Good luck with your choice.

[Jasser]

Originally Posted by Shea Veile

This thread isn't originally about outcalls. Instead, it's supposed to have been about extended dates. But since you're on the subject ...

It may not take $50 for YOU to drive an hour.

It takes about $35-$40 to fill the tank, probably $5-$10 for road tolls, $15-$20 for valet (if it's offered & utilized) and at least $100 just to load the car on a tow truck (not including the mileage that's charged in addition to it) if it breaks down and more to fix it.

ALL of it comes out of MY pocket which explains higher outcall rates vs. incall rates.

I don't know of ANY vehicle that's FREE.

You're right, this thread isn't about outcalls; it's about negotiating. I was only giving an example of what I have experienced in relation to the subject of OP.

All I was trying to say is that some providers will work with you, while others won't. If what I wrote ruffled your feathers, well...tough.

We can go back and forth all day about expenses that we COULD come across, but what's the point?

[Shea Veile]

Originally Posted by Jasser

All I was trying to say is that some providers will work with you, while others won't. If what I wrote ruffled your feathers, well...tough.

Since it appears you're addressing me, you didn't ruffle any feathers in the slightest way. To the best of my knowledge, I'm not related to any aviary creatures.

In relation to the general topic, do what works best for you and I'll do the same for myself.

[mikahranae]

Originally Posted by Nina Rae

With all due respect (as in the respect due any human being)...wtf? Just because a lady expects you to have the donation ready and in full when she sees you does not make her a money grubbing whore. Come on. If you arrive with your donation in full, and the lady gives you 20 mins of play time instead of an hour, you're gonna be pissed because that was plainly NOT the agreement. Its the same thing in the reverse. Don't agree (or accept the offer of services at a given rate) and then try to pull some kind of counter offer later for a lower rate. Its crass and rude...and that's not business, its dirty dealing. Most providers that I know aren't thinking they need to make money 24/7, but they do think that if you booked a 2 hr appt, you are agreeing to pay the 2 hr rate. If not, then you should either find a new hobby or book time with a lady with lower rates.

The answer for best results, which was clearly indicated from the above responses, is to post an ISO. However, just because most ladies don't negotiate, it doesn't mean that we're all money suckers. You have a choice is whether you hobby. We appreciate your business and aren't any different than any other person working for a living.

Cheers.

I was going to comment on his post, but you said everything I was going to say and then some. Thanks.

[ANONONE]

After almost thirty years in this hobby here is what I have learned with regards to this issue. . .

1) If they don't have a non-BCD date/rate, don't ask about it or attempt to negotiate a cheaper rate upon first looking for a provider. You are just asking for a perfectly good arrangement to go sour.

2) If you are still set on making this your experience, you either need to save up for a multi-hour or overnight date or. . .

3) See a lady a few times before ever broaching this subject. One, you make sure that you connect in such a way that a social date would even be pleasant, and two you will find if you have become a regular, they MAY be open to such a date and MAY be open to discussing a different rate or a package price on such an evening. I think you will find that if you invest on building a rapport with a lady you like, this whole endeavor will be much more enjoyable than trying to cold call negotiating. . .it just isn't a good idea. Besides, believe or not, some hobbyists and providers do get along and actually do see one another socially for drinks, a movie, or even a sporting event, but those tend to be platonic situations. . .P4P rarely mixes well with such social events, but if it does, pay the normal rate. Do not accept a sudden discount--trust me on this it always gets ugly.

Of course, for all we know, even as gents and ladies alike attack the various perspectives of this issue, there are probably a few providers looking to be more aggressive in their business model by PMing this guy and making him a "seduction date" offer at a price they would never admit to publicly.

[Randall Creed]

Shea's such a doll, isn't she??

I haven't paid a toll in Dallas in ages due to my navigation guiding me around them. Man, those things really pay themselves very quickly when you take into consideration the hassles of driving they eliminate (especially in a gaggle like Dallas).

The next time you spend $50 driving and tolling in Dallas, I'll gladly reimburse you for your troubles.

[Tony Patella]

Sometimes the sheer pettiness of people amazes me!

A cat asks a sincere question. Maybe the wording used was not quite accurate in conveying his feelings. He gets some honest answers, and then the dung starts flying. Honestly!

My thoughts...

Seems to me, if it's his first contact with a lady, her rates are her rates, period. But, if he sees a lady once or twice or more, a rapport might be established where the question might be posed, "Hey sweetie, love to buy you a drink or dinner, a movie (or something) sometime before BCD. Would you ever be interested?"

That's when a lady might reply, "Sure, love to. In fact, the only donation I ask is for the BCD time." Or, she might also say, "Gee, thanks. But I try to keep business and personal separate. So if we did that, my fee would be $ for non BCD, and $$ for BCD."

If there's been a connection, (usually after a session) I've offered on more than one occasion..drinks, dinner or whatever. Some times it's a "no," sometimes it's a "hell no," and sometimes it's been fun. But you don't know until you ask.

Alternatively, I doubt anyone would be offended by an ISO along these lines. "Have great seats to the Rangers, Nascar, to the Symphony, to the Buffett Concert (or whatever). Looking for the company of a lady, dinner, then the event, then some BCD. Any interest? Drop me a PM with your thoughts on time and donation. Thanks."

For crying out loud, it's not rocket science.

[stevesanderson]

Originally Posted by Jasser

As Jamie Young pointed out, "time is money".

Actually, their time is money. Yours is worthless. Like when they NCNS you and you reschedule. I would think the 2nd session would be discounted-50% would be fair. Funny how providers try to be all businesslike when it works in their favor, but when some customer service is required you see how that business attitude goes out the window.