Approaching a provider about submissiveness

[garlandBone]

Let's suppose you are a man who wants to explore his dom side. You are searching for a woman who will be submissive. It's not something one sees openylisted on menus, but I know it'sout there. Should I try my luck on the ISO forum?, or is there a proper way to bring this up for discussion when meeting a new provider for the first time.

[Krunkman]

Yes, its best to put forth what you are looking for like that. I don't think most providers would be comfortable being submissive/restrained by someone they had not met before.

[Willen]

Agreed. Trust is vital, and it takes time to build that.

[Gryphon]

Generally for me it has come up in pillow talk with providers that I have seen before and with whom I have developed a rapport. If she expresses any interest, I offer to bring some supplies next time. I make it clear that unless she either has tried it before and liked it or is truly curious to try it, I'm not interested. Most providers I have discussed it with have been very open minded. It's pretty amazing what some providers will allow once you have their trust.

[anova444]

Originally Posted by garlandBone

Let's suppose you are a man who wants to explore his dom side. You are searching for a woman who will be submissive. It's not something one sees openylisted on menus, but I know it'sout there. Should I try my luck on the ISO forum?, or is there a proper way to bring this up for discussion when meeting a new provider for the first time.

I think you should put it on the ISO forum. Also, I think your instincts will let you know if your in the presence of some one who is submissive.

I am NOT submissive. I don't mind a nice spanking though. And I am easy going.

[blowpop]

This is a good question. I've had the issue come up in both my personal life and in the hobby.

A degree of submissiveness is a quality that's more common that you might think. I seem to keep running across women with a submissive side; two women I know (who are submissive) tells me that submissives are naturally attracted to dominants. So my guess is that once you're in the session, she may pick up on your dominant nature, and her submissive side may start to come out.

Obviously, before an serious D/S play is done, negotiation should be considered. Very rarely is the chemistry and trust such that everyone's comfortable playing "without a net", so to speak.

When in doubt, ask. I doubt that many women would be offended if you ask if she has any submissive interests.

Originally Posted by garlandBone

Let's suppose you are a man who wants to explore his dom side. You are searching for a woman who will be submissive. It's not something one sees openylisted on menus, but I know it'sout there. Should I try my luck on the ISO forum?, or is there a proper way to bring this up for discussion when meeting a new provider for the first time.

[Guest050911]

I agree with all stated here.... I know that I get a certain vibe from a lady with submissive tendencies, and have rarely been mistaken.

Conversely,

Most do not pick up my Dom vibe, if the do not have a Sub leaning. Did have a lady tell me last week that she could totally see it. But she had asked about it before we encountered each other at a Bday party of ill repute....

PPE

[Freedahavefun]

I advertise as a mature submissive woman, my personality and character is naturally submissive, it is who I am.
xoxo
Freeda

[Guest091710]

i am sexually submissive but have a strong personality that since being Masterless has become more aggressive. i openly have a list of limits and its always best to discuss those prior to any real time play. i sent this to a client today asking about limits....

i don't do blindfolds or severe bondage in first sessions for safety, i have the limits of most no minors, scat, animals or anything dead, in addition to my slight claustrophobia, which means no hoods or facial suffocation of any kind. Light facial slapping is reserved for the experienced that know the proper places and not too extreme, no marks or fluid of any kind.

i know it may seem like a lot, but its really not so much, and if i dislike something, rest assured i have no issues speaking up. i have a complete toy bag that is all newbie friendly, meaning cant do too much damage, a crop, a flogger, a whip, cat o nine tails, then the usual, dildos and other sex toys, its a great way to explore a new side of sexual Domination.

Btw the eyes never lie, a true sub has a look about her, You will know it if You see it, but often has a hard time with eye contact, lol.