Are you guilty of making these "Mistakes" in bed?

[1thatgotaway]

17) TAKING YOUR PANTS OFF FIRST.
A man in socks and underpants is at his worst. Lose the socks first.

Does it make a difference if they are fuzzy socks? HAHA! Nice...

~1TGA

[Shackleton]

11) STOPPING FOR A BREAK.
Women, unlike men, don't pick up where they left off. If you stop, they plummet back to square one very fast. If you can tell she's not there, keep going at all costs, numb jaw or not.

20) COMING TOO SOON.
Every man's fear. With reason. If you shoot before you see the whites of her eyes, make sure you have a backup plan to ensure her pleasure too.

Sometimes, you have to pick your poison.

[Alana Clark]

LOL! some of those are very funny but not all of them are true

[pyramider]

Originally Posted by cpi3000

I feel like such a loser now!!!!

Why yes you are.

[hotlips_houlihan]

It's amazing how funny real life can be sometimes!

[Black Sedan]

Fun list, and mostly true. I like to think I've learned these lessons already from experience.

Originally Posted by Kelly TNT

21) NOT COMING SOON ENOUGH.
It may appear to you that humping for an hour without climaxing is the mark of a sex god, but to her it's more likely the mark of a numb vagina. At least buy some intriguing wall hangings, so she has something to hold her interest while you're playing Marathon Man. [/CENTER]

Oh yeah, all the jokes about he can't last, and stamina. I've heard the complaint. Of course, women never know what they want, so there's no right duration. Apparently a 15-30 minute break, followed by more is preferred to an hour. Repeat all afternoon.

Originally Posted by Kelly TNT

22) ASKING IF SHE HAS COME.
You really ought to be able to tell. Most women make noise. But if you really don't know, don't ask

And pay attention, you can almost always feel her cumming.

Originally Posted by Kelly TNT

23) PERFORMING ORAL SEX TOO GENTLY.
Don't act like a giant cat at a saucer of milk. Get your whole mouth down there, and concentrate on gently rotating or flicking your tongue on her clitoris.

Seriously, buy the Tristan Taormino video and learn how to do it the right way.

Originally Posted by Kelly TNT

26) MOVING AROUND DURING FELLATIO.
Don't thrust. She'll do all the moving during fellatio. You just lie there. And don't grab her head.

Teeth. Yeah.

Originally Posted by Kelly TNT

27) TAKING ETIQUETTE ADVICE FROM PORN MOVIES.
In X-rated movies, women seem to love it when men ejaculate over them. In real life, it just means more laundry to do.

And when they ask you to cum all over them, for fuck's sake, do it man. Don't make her beg, much.

Originally Posted by Kelly TNT

29) ATTEMPTING ANAL SEX AND PRETENDING IT WAS AN ACCIDENT.
This is how men earn a reputation for not being able to follow directions. If you want to put it there, ask her first. And don't think that being drunk is an excuse.

Also ladies, do not talk about how your ex-boyfriend (who you are obviously still getting over) liked anal sex a lot. Ok? That's scars me from ever wanting to have it with you.

Originally Posted by Kelly TNT

32) SLAPPING YOUR STOMACH AGAINST HERS.
There is no less erotic noise. It's as sexy as a belching contest.

The only one I really thought was odd. What a weird position to be in. That sound is not supposed to be our stomachs slapping together. Skin on skin is good.

Originally Posted by Kelly TNT

37) TALKING DIRTY.
It makes you sound like a lonely magazine editor calling a 1-900line. If she likes nasty talk, she'll let you know

And if she doesn't like a bit of dirty talk, she can GTFO

Originally Posted by Kelly TNT

40) THANKING HER.
Never thank a woman for having sex with you. Your bedroom is not a soup kitchen.

Or thank a man. Indeed - nothing weirder than being thanked. I know you enjoyed it: you came over and over again, and cuddled me. Thank me, and I'll feel like a whore. Also, it makes me think you have low self-esteem and you don't think you deserve a good, caring romp.

I'd also like to add from my perspective:

41) BIRTH CONTROL / SAFETY FIRST
Don't try to jump on Big Daddy without wrapping up. I'll be worried about getting you pregnant and OTHER things, and it'll be lousy, okay?

42) SIMULTANEOUS ORGASM
She LOVES to cum at the same time as you every once in a while. If you haven't done this, it always feels pretty fucking amazing for you too.

[PoppyToyota]

#40....I'm guilty! Didn't think of it as a soup kitchen kinda thank you though. More of a WOW! OMG, Thank You!

[oglfp12]

Oh, Kelly. So many things to remember. I must come see you for a private lesson.

[Guest062124]

Poor guys....so many rules and most of them contradictory. Some of them I agree with..others make it so "about us". This is about team work..damn it!

I do not mind dirty talk...infact, if it is done correctly and not scripted, gets me very excited!

I don't mind a little of your weight on me, closeness during sex is what its about! I love missionary so no need to tire your arms out trying to keep from squishing me..relax and rest on me.

I do have to speak up on the taking too long to C*M one. I used to tell my ex hubby, if he could finish faster, that we could have sex off and on all day long. Bless his heart, he couldn't finish in less than an hour no matter what I did. Which made me uncomfortable and bored. Needless to say our sex life was horrible. I will take a quick finisher multiple times over a long distance runner any day. Quickies are hot!

I don't like the head nudging thing. I feel like I am being forced to do something and I am rebellious enough to want to hit someone for doing it...lol. I like a little aggressiveness but head nudging and biting me hard are not on my list of cool things to have done to me.

Blah! Leave your socks on if you want to! I have cold feet and sometimes I wish I could leave mine on. lol!

[am-a-pleaser]

The list does make some good points of thing to think about, but it isn't a rulebook.

All women are different. When booking a lady, do research. Ask her what she likes. Ladies, "Whatever you like" is not an answer, dammit! That's a line from Coming to America. "Bark like a dog, ......"

Paying attention is key. Some ladies like it when you wisper in their ear. Some like things rougher than others. Mainly, it depends on her mood at the time. She may be ready for something different. A new experience.

I enjoy all of a ladies body. No rushing. I want her excited, ready and waiting for each new stimulation. Build her anticipation and deliver.

When two people are in sync, the experience is awesome for both.

Ms Foster appeals to me for many reasons. Some of those reasons are not related to bcd. I really want to seduce her.

I could go on, but those who read and do their research, will have success in spending time with a lady that's right for them.

[pmdelites]

Originally Posted by reese foster

Poor guys....so many rules and most of them contradictory. Some of them I agree with..others make it so "about us". This is about team work..damn it!

.....

Blah! Leave your socks on if you want to! I have cold feet and sometimes I wish I could leave mine on. lol!

reese, i am glad someone else commented on.

17) TAKING YOUR PANTS OFF FIRST.
A man in socks and underpants is at his worst. Lose the socks first.

for some unknown physical condition, my feet stay cool to cold most of the time [i've had it chk'd several times - not a serious condition]. and my socks keep them warm. unless you really want to feel my cold feet on your legs or hips or ....

wrt

24) NUDGING HER HEAD DOWN.
Men persist in doing this until she's eyeball-to-penis, hoping that it will lead very swiftly to mouth-to-penis. All women hate this. It's about
three steps from being dragged to a cave by their hair. If you want her to use her mouth, use yours; try talking seductively to her.

i know a couple of women well enough who trust me well enough that they let me guide their head once it's already down there. but i definitely dont force it down before she has begun interacting w/ lil delites.

[Brooke Daniels]

Rock it Kelly,

This is such a great post. I have been on the business for some years now. These things had to be said. Although, I have had great luck with the majority of my clients, some do these things from time to time. I just have to figure out a way to let them know that it is either uncomfortable for me or just downright selfish.

I am printing this out and will have my clients read through this before our session (j/k).

A must read for all hobbyist.

[Guest010615]

man, ive done all of that. Some chicks like a couple of those tho! unless they were lying.. lol

[Guest010615]

Originally Posted by Brooke Daniels

* I'm kind of a big deal *

hey, thats MY line!

[am-a-pleaser]

Some guys want their desires met and don't worry too much about the lady. Other guys really enjoy the gfe/bfe, and truly want the lady to have a great time.