Hmmmmmm????? I could never ever do that....

[DallasRain]

I recieved an email today from a reputable provider's yahoo group that made me go "HHMMMMMM???"!!!!!!

Heres the jest of what she wrote:{quoted partially}

I NEED AS MANY PEOPLE AS POSSIABLE TO COME SEE ME IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS--- I AM GETTING KICKED OUT OF MY house OVER a small amount of DOLLARS SO I HAVE SO MANY DAYS TO MOVE AND I NEED THE MONEY SO I CAN FIND A New PLACE TO LIVE--- THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR YOUR HELP




{IMO}... I just think that it is so tacky for a provider to disclose personal needs and "beg" for something from a hobbyist!
I guess I just feel that if I get that desperate,I will offer a special for my regulars....As a provider I feel I do not have a neccissity to disclose my "personal needs" to a hobbyist...he is the guy I should have no personal obligations for ...the only time I am obligated to him is when we have an appointment!!

I don't care what he looks like{Homer Simpson/Peter Griffan/Tom cruise/or sean connery}.......F*ck it.....it makes no difference to me...I am still gonna treat him like he is the most special thing in my life during our session!!

I would never dream of imposing my financial needs on those who have no "personal" connection to me...If i cant get thru it,then dammit I am gonna go ask my momma or sisters for help!


I am happy with my personal life..I have been thru poverty and i have been thru riches...I have a succesful career now{I just wish my clients would give me a review once in awhile!...lol}


Now I am not saying she is a bad person because of it....she seems to be a great provider ......she is probably doing what she feels she has to do to get by....But there just seems to be other ways around things!


Yall's opinions please...
THX!!

[Sami]

Woww... yes I agree with both of you DallasRain and seXXXY Brooke. SAVE sAVE Save keep bills paid. Never ever know what tomorrow brings. Don't blow money and never live above your means.You can live well without all the bling. It's hard to plan ahead for misfortunes, but if your out shopping and rent ain't paid or you can't get your ass up, well I have a hard time helping that someone and I would never ask client. Guess I am a bargain shopper,coupon saver,buy things on sale it just makes since to me. Nothing wrong with moving up, upgrading and that's GREAT to have goals. But got to start with basics pay your own way with pride..

[gimme_that]

Would this still be considered tacky if the provider was hurt medically and couldnt pay bills and asked for help as well.....I feel this situation you speak of is similar to that one. Its still personal business. But I'm sure the same people who hate this approach, might love a post about sending proceeds to a hurt provider. But its generally the same thing.

I generally try not to include myself in personal matters past discretion and respect with providers. Usually thats when pillowtalk goes wrong and its uninteresting at that point. I think if people want to help people they will......i dont think its tacky if people ask for help in any capacity........just as people shouldnt take it as tacky that I wouldnt be so reluctant to help someone I didnt know just cause I had a former BCD session with them.

It takes a big person to actually ask for help, but again if I didnt plan on lending assitance, I wouldnt judge them based on their plight. I'm sure others would be sensitive to it, but I dont see why.

[Tiffany Cums]

l have mixed feelings on this one. I can understand that she should've saved and put away for a rainy day, but...to need help to the extent you send out an email begging for it? Bad business, perhaps.....but I'm not going to judge.

[Guest0812112]

Dallas Rain, this could be a really great thread especially if you broaden the subject to help in general. But back to the subject I could'nt ever ask for someone to help me in these circumstances, however knowing many who have found themselves in this shape, I don't think its that tacky for them to ask for help. Many people in this great nation talk about helping their fellow man while at the same time walk right on by, then the question, would I be more likely to help if it we're a school teacher rather than a provider. We come from a Nation that is first to help the down trodden of the world, but turn our back on those here at home. My thoughts its not so much why someone needs help, its the who's asking

[DallasRain]

quote--Here's the thing, we as providers make a very good living, well maybe I worded that Wrong. I believe every provider has the potential to make a very good living. Put away for a rainy day.---unquote
This is so true...espec when the provider's donation is above 250hr.....



quote--
Would this still be considered tacky if the provider was hurt medically and couldnt pay bills and asked for help as well.....--unquote

No..thats a different situation.....there have been providers that have medical issues arise and their fellow brethern have asked for help for them...that kind of situation is beyond their control...


this is not a thread to judge anyones's character!!!!! I was just expressing my opinion on how this "plea" was made....She did not offer a special or a special incentive to clients.....personally I would have offered a special rate to clients.....Even if it meant charging $50hr....You have to do whatever it takes to make it..BUT you need to be wise in how you approach it!!!!

I have seen providers run these kind of "begging" ads over the years and it just seems so tacky...sometimes it is the same provider running the same ad a few monthes later! It is kind of like a store going out of business sale that never ends!

IN MY OPINION---there should be no reason to involve our "business associates" in our personal troubles{UNLESS it is a dire medical need}

Like I said earlier,I am not judging ANYONE..I am just using this ad as an example!

Thanks for answering!!!!!!

[Ansley]

Talk about kicking a person when they are down. I hope this woman isn't a member of ECCIE and reads this about herself.

You say that you aren't passing judgment on this woman,but yet you use her case as an example and call her tacky. Wouldn't it be more tactful to have kept your opinions of this woman to yourself.

I am in this world by myself. I don't have family I could turn to. Damned tacky! If I found myself about to loose the roof over my head I wouldn't think twice about asking for appointments from the network I had built. She did it within her Yahoo group. She didn't take it public.

[Tiffany Cums]

ohhh...I understand where you are coming from....like the secretary where I use to work, she would take a loan out to pay for a loan! And she was always complaining about money....once she received some help to pay off all of her loans, it didn't take long for her to go out and get another one!

It is easy not to take care of your money, especially when we are paid in cash and there isn't any record for it. It's easy to go shopping right after a date then just 'forget' about it....but we all need to be mature and take care of what needs to be taken cared of.

[DallasRain]

Thanks Tiffany...thats my point exactly
{it is called financial responsibility}

[Bliss]

I believe this tactic has the opposite effect on business. If I was a client, I would run as far in the opposite direction from a desperation post as fast as I could. I would feel, if I was to see her, I would probably have to spend some time hearing about her plight, or feel the pressure to tip after hearing a sob story. All of which are huge buzzkills during what is supposed to be quality, relaxing time.

I am a moderator on a local board in Phoenix. We recently added "no desperation posts" to our posting guidelines for providers. I agree, it's tacky. I'm sure we all feel for the situation, and no doubt, we have all been there ourselves. It's just bad business.

[Katy Alexander]

Thank you for posting that Ansley, and Chelsea.I think that we all come from different financial situations when we enter this business, and it really is no ones place to judge how we handle ourselves.

I am not saying that escorts should not save their money , but even if you have enough money saved up for a flood there are still plenty of situations that can eat up what you have worked hard to save up.

When I see ads like that I try not to judge, but instead feel grateful that I am not in the same situation.I do not think it is tacky to ask for help. You never know when you may end up there one day yourself.

What is interesting is there are no men on this thread calling her ad tacky.Why do escorts always have to look for ways to put each other down?

Originally Posted by Ansley

Talk about kicking a person when they are down. I hope this woman isn't a member of ECCIE and reads this about herself.

You say that you aren't passing judgment on this woman,but yet you use her case as an example and call her tacky. Wouldn't it be more tactful to have kept your opinions of this woman to yourself.

I am in this world by myself. I don't have family I could turn to. Damned tacky! If I found myself about to loose the roof over my head I wouldn't think twice about asking for appointments from the network I had built. She did it within her Yahoo group. She didn't take it public.

[jfred]

Originally Posted by chelsea simms

...My thoughts its not so much why someone needs help, its the who's asking

Yeah, so what about this?

HOBBYIST IN BIG TROUBLE!!! Ladies, I need your help. There have been insane demands on my budget lately -- totally unexpected -- and I can't make ends meet. By the time I pay my bills there's NOTHING left to hobby with!!!

I'm depressed and irritable. My boss has noticed a drop in my work quality. My poor kids think I'm Jeckel/Hyde. It's gonna cost me dearly in these areas if I don't get some relief.

I'll get paid on the 15th, but until then please provide me with unpaid sex. Five or 6 sessions is all it would take.

You know I've never asked for anything like this before. But this is an EMERGENCY!!!

[am-a-pleaser]

My opinion. She needs to move in the next few days. If I got this message, here’s what I would think.

She has no money? Okay, how much does it cost to move? Hmmmm Moving van and crew 1,500. First and last month’s rent on new place. 2,000. Electric deposits, etc. 500. Okay, she needs 4,000. Hmmm that’s 2 people per day for 8 days. Drop her rate and see 2 people a day for 10 days. Maybe get an overnighter, cut the time down more. Wonder how long she’s known she was behind on her rent? Generally 30 days notice is needed. Something else must be going on that she’s not saying. The moving seems doable. I’d go to no extra effort to see her, unless I felt close to her. I’d try to help, just may not be direct monetary help.

When people feel desperate and scared, the do things they might not otherwise do.

Ansley. You may feel you are in this world by yourself. You have no family to turn to. If you were in need, I would try to help you. I feel that way with a few other ladies as well. Some have posted in this thread.

As much as we want to say this is a business and hobby, the encounters are a fantasy and the feelings are a mirage, many people make connections and have genuine feelings for others. We don’t cross the line and we keep our feelings in check.

So, opinions were asked for. I assume she felt close enough to her Yahoo group to make the request. If it were me, I’d put a more positive spin on things. Such as “Moving in the next few days. Before my move, come see me for my specials.” Then again, she may have already tried that.

Have I helped ladies in need? Yes. Will I do it again? Yes

[atlcomedy]

Originally Posted by Bliss

I believe this tactic has the opposite effect on business. If I was a client, I would run as far in the opposite direction from a desperation post as fast as I could. I would feel, if I was to see her, I would probably have to spend some time hearing about her plight, or feel the pressure to tip after hearing a sob story. All of which are huge buzzkills during what is supposed to be quality, relaxing time.

I am a moderator on a local board in Phoenix. We recently added "no desperation posts" to our posting guidelines for providers. I agree, it's tacky. I'm sure we all feel for the situation, and no doubt, we have all been there ourselves. It's just bad business.

Well said. I don't judge how or why people find themselves in unfortunate circumstances, but a desperation ad doesn't make for a good date. Afterall, she's already broken one of my rules -- which is our time should be about me.

A word of caution: desperate people are more likely to do desperate things including engaging in dangerous behavior.

[Gryphon]

I agree there is a certain lack of dignity in posting a desperation plea like that. But desperation can make dignity an unaffordable luxury. Note that she is not asking anyone to simply give her money; she is asking for clients to use her services. There is a huge difference. This wasn't a BP ad; it was within her group so presumably it went to people who already knew her. Without knowing all the details of her circumstances I'm not willing to say she should have avoided the situation that led to this post, and it may have been the best alternative she saw.

As to how I would respond to such a post, it depends. If it were someone I didn't know or knew to be a bit flaky, I would run for the hills. If it were a provider I knew and liked...well, I just hope it would never get to that point.