Diplomacy, Kindness and Bacterial Vaginosis

[Codybeast]

This pertains more to the real world of dating than to the hobby where the rare but occasional nasty fishy kitty leaves as quickly as it arrives.

There have been numerous times in the dating scene where everything seems to be going fine but when you reach the point of BCD it becomes painfully clear that the poor girl suffers from incurable bacterial vaginosis or that fishy smell.

Washing and douching are only band aids and don't cure anything. Even after douching once you start fucking you still are stuck with that nasty nauseating smell on your privates.
Also once she gets excited you don't want your face anywhere near it.

Realizing this is Not the woman's fault I can never just come right out and say we can't be intimately involved because your pussy STINKS!

I usually have to come up with some lame assed excuse to never repeat the unpleasant experience which of course doesn't make any sense to her so she just continues trying to pursue a relationship which then puts me in the position of having to be mean or distant which I'm sure is equally hurtful.

This is one of those things that you just can't know about until you get there and by then she's emotionally attached which puts you in a very awkward position.

This happened to me about two months ago and to this day I still get those annoying "Don't you miss me" or "We should be together" texts although I flat out stated I didn't think we were a match sexually as my reasoning. I couldn't claim I wasn't attracted to her because obviously I had just slept with her.
I found the whole situation unpleasant enough to turn me off to sex completely with anyone for the next two months. Unfortunately she Still thinks she can prove me wrong.

It took a certain sexy and Great smelling Delayah to bring me back to the land of the sexually interested.

This other woman is a wonderful person who has gone through much in her life so I would Never want to offend or hurt her by telling her the truth about why I just can't sleep with her and thus the texts and poems keep coming.

My sense of smell is a HUGE part of my libido so there really is no compromising on this.


How do you single guys handle this when it happens?

What do you ladies consider to be the proper and humane response from a gentleman in this position?

[rockerrick]

Breath via mouth ! Or get some of that camphor crap to put in nostrils like medical examiners do .

[Squarenot]

As your title suggests - diplomacy. Honesty is a good policy in these situations, imho.
By ignoring her, I don't think you are doing her any favors.
As I understand the malady, it is curable and she should see an MD.

[ArisRose]

There is no kind way to say it. Just say "baby you got a little odor down there, might want to check that out".


Is this woman a smoker? Smokers tend to have reoccuring BV and can't smell it themselves so that may be why she doesn't notice.

[Codybeast]

Originally Posted by RandomBlkChick

There is no kind way to say it. Just say "baby you got a little odor down there, might want to check that out".


Is this woman a smoker? Smokers tend to have reoccuring BV and can't smell it themselves so that may be why she doesn't notice.

No she doesn't smoke and yes she does already know she has an odor issue.

When we first starting getting hot and heavy she alerted me to the fact that she was on her period and that she was concerned about an odor issue.

I heeded her advice and waited till the storm had passed assuming whatever she was referring to must just be period related. Unfortunately when I got the green light the odor remained.

[Kitty D'Luxe]

Just tell her. It's embarrassing but dude you think she doesnt know her juice be stanky? Trust me, if YOU can smell it, SHE can smell it. You are just being straight up with her even if she is mortified- she can't be shocked!

And honestly, the fact that shes doing NOTHING to remedy the situation (seriously, she can go to a clinic and get the pills right there on the spot for CHEAP or FREE at some!) just shows you that maybe she isn't the best person to form a relationship with. Not because of her noxious nethers but because IF YOU CANT TAKE CARE OF YOUR OWN EASILY TREATABLE EVERYDAY MEDICAL AILMENT, YOU PROBABLY LACK THE LEVEL OF RESPONSIBILITY REQUIRED TO BE IN A RELATIONSHIP

[Kitty D'Luxe]

Plus those "ignore it till it goes away) type girls are always the ones you hear about that have babies in their stretch pants or on the toilet or something. THINK ABOUT THE CHILDREN!!!

hahaha

[19Trees]

Women's reproductive system quite complex thus this not comprehensive by any stretch of the pussy lips...

There are hundreds of causes of pussy odor and many of them are not related to disease (in the reproductive system itself or elsewhere in host's body) such as improper PH balance, PH levels in gastro system/bile, foods, drugs, alcohol, etc). The most prominent/often diseases which affect pussy odor are:


Candida or "yeast" infection
Bacterial vaginosis
Trichomoniasis vaginitis
Chlamydia vaginitis
Gonococcal vaginitis
Viral vaginitis
Noninfectious vaginitis

... In terms of maintaining good pussy health, I believe Nurse Midwife/Nurse Practitioners are the most effective and most underutilized. They are easier to work with than gynocologists and will do a much better job of giving patient more skills in establishing and managing good general and specifically pussy health.

STD clinics have the most experience because of their volume, some are free or cheap too. However, complaints that these are dispensaries maybe well founded and probably not the best way to manage chronic (versus acute) problem.

If there is visible discharge, caking or crackling of skin on/around the vagina accompanied by smell, probably best for provider to stop providing and get medical care. If s/he elects instead to keep working and you are her unfortunate client who learns abut the problem mid-session that's a problem.

Pew.

[austin_voy]

There's a tendency for women who are just about to hit "the change" to start developing recurring BVI. BUT, once the hormones go in a different direction, the infection clears up.

There's also a form of chronic BVI that's a "bonus" of ass to pussy. e coli can be very difficult to diagnose if your doctor isn't thinking about looking for it. Takes a very thorough swabbing of the vagina (not a Pap smear sort of thing) and sometimes blood work and a long course of Cipro to treat it. And, to add insult to insult, you'll also need to be eating a lot of active culture yogurt because strong antibiotics can/will kill the beneficial bacteria in your gut or even provoke c. diff. (see Wikipedia) And, ooops, can cause a different kind of vaginitis. Oh, and no sex, irritates the vagina.

<Real technical stuff> An article a couple of years ago in the Journal of Infectious Medicine had a meta-study that presented a possible causal relationship between PID and BVI. A preliminary study in Lancet suggested the same thing. Since I get my publications second hand, I haven't seen a follow up on that. Twenty five women in one English city is not a study of itself.

Thus endith the reading of the book of Brian.

[Codybeast]

Haven't seen her since that experience and was so turned off that I know won't be seeing her again.

To tell her why I'm no longer interested in her sexually would only add insult to injury so I've decided it's best to just let it go and let the next date tell her. Of course he might even like it.

[rockerrick]

Yeah what's her number Cody ?

[homer13]

guys over the years have used thousands of lines to end it with ladies, just use one of those.

it's not you baby it me
I'm just not emotionally available right now
I just got out of a long term relationship and am not ready to try again
I'm getting back together with my last girlfriend. she called and wants to try again and I love her and want to make it work this time

I'm shipping out for the next six months baby, it's not fair of me to ask you to wait for me

I thought I'd try chicks to see it I still had urges with them but I realize now that I'm gay

See it's really very easy to come up with something that works and I'm drunk as fuck

[nuglet]

I've actually been in that spot personally. A lady I was seeing for a short time, but never did DATY with, for that very reason. Other than that, she was great. After a few dates, she actually asked.. "why don't you ever do oral, I thought you liked it?". I paused a moment, wondering how to approach this gracefully and decided that honesty was the best policy, or end the relationship. I thought about it a bit and finally said.. "Sweety, I love DATY, but you have an odor that just puts me off". She immediately said, "Really!?, well I gotta do something about that!!" No hurt feelings, no argument, just an immediate acknowledgement. Sure 'nuff, by our next date, it was gone. Clean and sweet as a you could want. I told her I had been hesitant to be so personal, but then realized, if I had bad breath (you almost never know on your own), I certainly wish someone would tell me so I don't continue to smell like a hobo to everyone I talk to. Ironically, about a year ago, I had my lover hand me a bottle of Scope to go gargle.. I was stunned.. I had NO IDEA. I used mouth rinse, brushed 4-5 times a day, watched my diet, and it would not go away.. I finally went to my DR and found out I had a sinus infection, and had obviously had it for a while. A course of meds, and it was gone.. AND I APPRECIATED knowing the fact I was offensive. IJS...

[ElisabethWhispers]

I really liked what nuglet wrote. You're already turned off to the lady and so that's a done deal.

However, I run into people all of the time that have body odors (mostly coming from their mouths) that they're unaware of. Often, brushing and mouthwash doesn't help.

People on the Atkins diet have this issue a LOT. The bad breath just comes from the stomach or something. I will generally tell someone if their breath is so bad that I cannot kiss them. Since kissing is my favorite thing to do and many know this, it's awkward to not be able to kiss someone.

There is toothpaste and mouthwash available all of the time at the incall but sometimes the smell just cannot be washed away.

Also, there are those women who are just more musky smelling than others. And it doesn't matter how many times they've cleaned themselves. They have that female smell that many men just love.

But some do not.

Personally, it makes me think very highly of the original poster for asking about this issue and showing such sensitivity about it. He has concerns about his ex's feelings and that just spells out being a nice man, regardless of how he has had to put her off some.

Good for you!