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Originally Posted by Kayakinks
...I can't seem to figure out why certain potential clients become overwhelmingly annoyed or verbally hostile when you ask them for provider references and/or personal info for screening purposes only. I can see them having a fear for their personal information being misused... But why is misuse of personal info a concern that seems to supersede the concern for my physical safety?
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If the client is on P411 or another verification service there is no need for any other info to be given to any provider. That's the whole point of that service. However, if they are not using one of these services they should not be concerned with providing references unless their references are not good.
Personal information is another story. If you're asking for this and they've provided references or use P411 then you have no need for their personal info and they have legitimate cause for concern in you asking for it. We've all heard about psycho providers using personal information and calling some guy at home and/or work or contacting his wife, girlfriend or SO and none of us want that. It is a bit lopsided in the fact that the provider knows personal info about the hobbyist but we know nothing personal about the provider at all, so all the power to either be discreet or ruin our lives is in your hands. If they're newbies with no references or other means of verification you have every right to verify them and ask for personal information. If they don't want to provide that information don't see them.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kayakinks
Because on the contrary there are nearly daily news stories of providers all over the world being attacked and the abuser goes off the grid because he never provided her any traceable info. I would think any respectable adult to understand this reality.
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The same applies to providers regarding the safety and discretion of the client, but that hasn't always been the case. And those stories never make the news.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kayakinks
What is to be said about this breech of trust for discretion? How can I be so diligent about keeping my clients needs for discretion met, yet I do not receive the same treatment?
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You should receive the same treatment and any client that doesn't treat you the same should no longer be a client and the same applies to the providers who breach this trust.